In the past few weeks, I have spent more hours than I care to think about at school awards ceremonies.
Don't get me wrong - I go because I am proud of my children's accomplishments, proud collectively of what our young people are doing. I just wish that when school administrators and teachers plan these events they would be a little more respectful of all the demands on parents' and families' time.
The average running time for these things seems to be about 90 minutes. And since they are always clumped together at the end of the semester or school year, with three school-aged children who are all high achievers in one area or another, these 90-minute chunks add up.
Even when students are urged to give just one enthusiastic clap as each name is called (to prevent the clap-fest from turning into a popularity contest), the hundreds of honors awarded add up.
These are hours I spent shushing my wriggly, restless 3-year-old instead of reading her stories to enrich her mind. These are days when I spent rushing from work to school, eating later than planned, dining on leftovers or fast-food instead of healthy, home-cooked meals. These are hours the siblings who attend with us could be doing their homework or studying for important final exams. Or, when these are held during the school day, these are hours the students could be in the classrooms, learning even more.
Then there are the teachers who feel they must go on for five or 10 minutes about the accomplishments of a single student (again, I'm certain the students are deserving of this). But all of the parents who are missing work or skipping dinner don't really need to know that little Johnny met with this club every Wednesday at 9:30 a.m.
To put it in perspective, some of these teachers' laudatory speeches go on longer than valedictory students' speeches are allowed to be, after 12 outstanding years of student achievement.
Or to look at it another way, I recently attended a dinner for this year's Dean's Medallion winners from Fresno State's graduating class. The dean with whom we dined at our table told us that they had been given strict orders to keep their comments to two or three sentences per recipient.
Honor our students. Recognize their achievements. But remember also that we need time to celebrate as a family, to get to our jobs done, to spend time around the dinner table with our busy overachievers.
Keep it simple. Keep it short. Maybe put all of your kind words into a nice letter or certificate suitable for framing, which can be savored by the student and family members for years to come. I don't think I'm the only parent who would appreciate the thoughtfulness.
