Obviously, this is a gag version. Unfortunately, and for reasons I can't begin to fathom, a real version appears to be in the works (possibly NSFW):

This season of the show has been incredible, and tonight's episode, titled "316," promises to keep the streak going.

Don't worry: I'm not going to give up any spoilers here in this post. But if, like me, you don't mind gearing up for the episode with a couple of teasers, Entertainment Weekly has got the lowdown on what's happened so far, and what is going to happen. Good stuff!

Recap of last week's episode, "This Place is Death"
Pre-analysis of tonight's episode
EW's "Lost" cover story
Video: "Totally Lost" series
Video: ABC's "Lost Untangled"

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
Geek out a little before tonight's episode of "Lost"
"Lost's" biggest mystery

Wondering if the Snuggie hype has gone too far? Proof: The Snuggie Pub Crawl.

Grown people over the legal age of alcohol drinking, thinking it's a good idea to go from bar to bar in Snuggies? So far 1,976 Snuggie crawlers are registered for the Chicago event, which is scheduled for April 18. Yes, this is real.

Ten other cities are on the Snuggie Pub Crawl bandwagon, though only San Francisco has scheduled a date -- March 20.

I thought we were in a recession. I thought people didn't have any money. The Snuggie has changed that?

I suppose the powers of the Snuggie do deserve some props. It's gotten people to shop at Gottschalks again. It's helped raise money for good causes. It's inspired a drinking game. And then there's this.

All I know is that the people who invented The Slanket must be pissed.

PREVIOUSLY: Who needs a Snuggie when you can have a WTF blanket?

Was that really "American Idol" on Tuesday? It looked more like "American Clunker."

Twelve of the 36 semifinalists "performed" last night, and I use that term loosely, with amazingly mediocre results. For most of them, it was a textbook demonstration on why song choice is such a key factor. Why do the gals keep choosing songs from the intimidating Whitney Houston or Aretha Franklin catalogs? Those are huge songs. So when someone like Ann Marie Boskovich attempts Miss Franklin, it's bound to sound utterly limp.

But others were just as bad. Was Stephen Fowler even on key last night? And poor Casey Carlson and Stevie Wright were just lousy. (The top guy, top girl and then next highest vote getter move on tonight; everyone else prays for redemption as a wild card pick later in the series.)

Best of the night: Easily Danny Gokey. The recent death of his wife makes him a compelling and sympathetic figure. But, Gokey (seen here) also can sing with a soulfulness and feeling that clearly separated him from the other 11. He earned a standing ovation by singing, ironically, "Hero." Judge Randy Jackson called him "the redeemer of the night." But, interestingly, Simon Cowell was not ready to jump on the Gokey bandwagon: ""Danny, I like you. I'm just not buying the hype tonight, right now."

Weirdest moment of the show: What happened to annoying, cloying Tatiana Del Toro? Miss Drama Queen was nowhere to be seen. Some scarily subdued chick was there in her place. Even the judges were stunned by the transformation. I want Tatiana off the show but not like this. This Tatiana was such a sad imitation of Diva Tatiana. She should go out in style.

Disclosure: I'm sorry to say I was born in Hayward, Calif. But you can still head over the site and vote for me (it's in the bottom right corner of the page). If you want to vote for K-Fed, I understand. We all know he's the true winner.

My mom (like her mom) does not believe in throwing away perfectly good acceptable existing kitchen supplies, even if they've been around for 40 years. Some, like the bright orange mixing bowl (which we were never allowed to actually mix anything in), are still truckin' and have become so vintage they're cool again.

However, the white Corelle plates with the green flower border (you know exactly which ones I'm talking about) have got to go. I don't care if they were built to last -- like the denim newsboy cap, some things were just meant to live and die in the 1970s.

Anyway. Cute cat in a bowl. Enjoy.

ORIGINAL: It's time for another ticket giveaway from your pals at The Beehive. This time we have a pair of tickets to see Reverend Horton Heat on Wednesday night at Tower Theatre. The FIFTH commenter on this post will score the tickets. Two FYIs: No multiple entries are allowed. We won't publish comments until we have the winner.

Shouts out to promoter Tim Gardea for the tickets. Check out his site for more upcoming concerts in our area. Official rules for this giveaway are on the jump. Good luck, Rev fans.

ORIGINAL: Since you guys had so much fun with our name-that-crappy-band post last week, I figured some fun might be had with this one. Can you name this once-famous rapper who had a No. 1 in the early 90s?

There's no prize for knowing -- other than a Beehive High-Five. If you've already read this another blog, don't spoil it for everybody else.

Also on the bill: I Set My Friends on Fire, Fear Before, Sonny (ex-lead singer of From First to Last) and Goodbye Hidden Betty. Tickets cost $27 and go on sale Friday at timgardeapresents.com. and Monday at Valentino's.

In other concert news pertaining to promoter Tim Gardea -- his next show is Wednesday night's Reverend Horton Heat show at Tower Theatre. We'll be giving away a pair of tickets to that later this afternoon. Stay tuned!

ORIGINAL: Critical darling indie/folk singer M. Ward is the next big name coming to Visalia. He's scheduled to play the Visalia Fox Theatre on May 15, a Friday night, thanks to the peeps at Sound N Vision -- also responsible for the Bright Eyes show in October and the Modest Mouse show in a few weeks.

Mega promoter Aaron Gomes called from the road to deliver the news to The Beehive first. Tickets will cost $25 and go on sale Tuesday, the same day Ward's new album "Hold Time" hits stores. Tickets can be purchased at foxvisalia.org, the Fox box office, Velouria Records in Visalia, The Cellar Door in Visalia and Valentino's Rock 'N Apparel in Fresno.

Jason Mesnick cast off Jillian (seen here) from "The Bachelor" on Monday night. I'm not exactly sure why, except perhaps their date in the "fantasy suite" didn't go as well as those dates with Molly and Melissa. Jillian, who seems to have her act together and is quite likable, was stunned that she didn't make the final two.

And here's why I'm stunned. Mesnick knows the drill. DeAnna Pappas rejected the divorced dad's proposal on "The Bachelorette" last year. It was sad, but you hoped Jason could recover from the heartache.

Apparently, I should have been more concerned about his brains. The most telling sound bite from Monday's show came early. In talking about Melissa, Jason said: ''Melissa reminds me of girls like DeAnna, and my ex.'' Did he not hear himself? On top of that, is he seriously considering a marriage proposal to a woman -- Melissa -- whose parents refuse to meet him? If I'm Molly, I'm thinking my chances are looking pretty darn good.

Of course, this is all leading to a finale that includes Pappas and a doozy of an ending, as proclaimed by the producers. The show this season has shown a resurgence in ratings, all built on Jason's appeal as a rejected beau and divorced dad of an adorable young son. I just hope we're not all left disappointed, like Jillian.

Thanks, Nick, for playing along. And to anyone out there, feel free to let us know after your next DTJSF? moment.

PREVIOUSLY ON 'DID THEY JUST SAY FRESNO?'

Lindsay Lohan is claiming that her newly svelte emaciated figure is due to the fact that she's been working a lot, and insists that she has never weighed herself in her life.

Here's the thing. Lindsay and I have both been on the same work schedule lately [read: none. no work], so I know a little about what happens to one's body when you have all the time in the world to sit around and eat. And believe you me, it's not this.

Me thinks someone is regurgitating (bulimia joke. zing!) that sure-fire way of getting attention: become wayyyy too skinny and then watch as your face magically appears on magazine covers.

It's worked for Lindsay before, and let's face it, in these trying economic times, not eating is much more financially responsible than going through half of Colombia's coke supply, no?

[Source]

The place to be today if you're a rock connoisseur or a wine connoisseur is Whole Foods Market, where Maynard James Keenan will be hosting a wine gathering and bottle signing.

Keenan -- best known as the frontman for hard rock bands Tool and A Perfect Circle -- is also an upstart wine maker, owning and operating Merkin Vineyards and Caduceus Cellars near his home in Arizona.

The event starts at 4:30 p.m. and is sure to be packed until it's 7:30 p.m. finish. Keenan will be joined by his business partner Eric Glomski. You can read my interview with Keenan where he talked about what to expect from today's event, his turn to wine making and more.

If you're going today, come back and tell us what it was like.

Sorry, guys: Salma Hayek is officially off the market.

According to People, Hayek married her baby daddy, French businessman Francois-Henri Pinault, Saturday in Paris.

So what does it take to land one of the most beautiful women in the world? Charm? Good looks? An amazing sense of humor? Perhaps.

Being worth an estimated $16.9 billion probably doesn't hurt, either. That's billion.
With a 'B'.

Enjoy your new toys, Francois. You're going to need the memory of them to get you through the dark days when the inevitable divorce settlement comes through.

On the plus side, Africa can look forward to eating sometime in the near future.