Sunday’s Two Cities Marathon & Half, by most accounts, is a great event for our city. But each year, there’s always a group of people who complain about how much of a pain it is for the people who live near Woodward Park because of the road closures and detours. You’ll probably see an angry letter to the editor on the Bee’s opinion pages soon. People, of course, turn to Twitter and Facebook to voice their frustrations too. One person even made it sound like they were braving Hurricane Sandy. Totally legit, right?
Here are five of our favorites — and one tweet at the end that made us chuckle.
A drunken man was attacked by a female karate master after he stumbled into the wrong Fresno-area apartment, authorities said.
On Sunday, the 18-year-old man broke into what he thought was his own apartment unit at a complex in the 2500 block of North Maple Avenue, Fresno County sheriff’s spokesman Chris Curtice said.
The man was in the bathroom about 1 p.m. when the 20-year-old woman returned from a karate tournament where she had taken first place in her division.
I realize this sounds like it could be some fake new story from The Onion, but it’s not. Those of you who follow The Beehive know that Timmy T has become something of an Internet jester in recent years, so this all could be some attention-grab for him. Whatever his motivation, the Facebook posts are priceless:
UPDATE: A few interesting follow-up links to share on this story, that’s really become more of a silly non-story.
The L.A. Times has written about it. Meanwhile, The Collegian at Fresno State put together the most comprehensive story on this that I’ve seen — getting the teacher to talk and clarifying that the whole thing was more of an “lol” moment for the anonymous student, who has since apologized to the teacher. Another student in the class had a letter published in The Bee today defending the teacher as well.
So just to recap: It sounds like the only person actually upset about this is conservative blogger/activist Oliver Darcy, who isn’t in the class, doesn’t attend Fresno State, isn’t even in the state and is jumping on his moral high-horse based on an “lol” tweet and an online synopsis. Way to go, Oliver. *eyeroll*
ORIGINAL POST, 4/17: The human sexuality class at Fresno State has ruffled the feathers of some conservative activists because of a video shown in class last week. The story went national, getting some words on The Huffington Post and the Glenn Beck-started website The Blaze. It was recently covered locally by The Bee’s Alex Tavilan.
The latest: The general manager who recently took over is out, so he tells me. Further, the rumblings are that another “shake-up” in the works. So I called the club’s owner, John Janda, looking for answers.
This is exactly how the phone call went:
“This is Mike from The Fresno Bee …”
“Why do I want to talk to you?”
“Well …”
“If you are a spin doctor, I don’t want to talk to you. I’m going to do something drastic and you will hear about it.”
*click*
Wow. Not that I’ve never gotten hung up on before — but as far as characters go, Rome and Granite Park seem to have a never-ending supply. Janda eventually called me back and we had a more pleasant chat, though still totally unproductive. He didn’t hang up on me, but he also wouldn’t tell me what “drastic” change he was planning. So I thought it would be fun if we all guessed.
At this point, given that club’s tumultous history, what “drastic” change would work? What would surprise you? I say: He’s hiring Sammy Hagar as GM. *chuckle*
Even more troubling: Six of the top seven cities are from the San Joaquin Valley with Merced at No. 1, Modesto at No. 3, Stockton at No. 4, Visalia-Porterville at No. 5 and Bakersfield-Delano at No. 7.
UPDATE II: And the train keeps on wrecking. Now, Kasey’s camp has released a statement about his arrest. Kasey’s lawyer calls it a fame-grab. Here’s what he told CBS 47:
We’re confident when all the facts are brought forth that Kasey will be completely vindicated in the situation. There’s no charges filed and I think this is just a case of someone looking to grab their 15 minutes of fame. Very Jersey Shore-like if you ask me.
UPDATE, 1/17: Oh, the story gets more salacious. The Bee’s Jim Guy got a hold of the police report, which tells a more complete and, for Kasey, a more sad story. Fighting with a couple, giving a girl a bloody nose and pulling out his “celebrity” card, according to police.
[Kahl] was described in a police report as “very intoxicated and belligerent.” He was taken into custody because officers determined he was “unable to care for himself in public.” Kahl protested to officers that he was a “celebrity.
Here’s a random person on Craigslist looking for a women to assist in naked-poetry writing. Now, wait, I know what you’re thinking, but the ad assures it’s not very sexual. So just semi sexual? Like just the tip … of the pen?
Bless you, weird Fresnans.
[Spotted on the Facebook of Niilo Smeds -- he of rad local music and impressive facial hair.]
Ya know, Fresno, I wouldn’t be surprised to hear news about someone getting stabbed at the mall or the fair or outside of the Walmart. But Christmas Tree Lane?!? Is nothing sacred to the hooligans in this town?
One person was stabbed at Christmas Tree Lane on Tuesday night after a fight escalated, Fresno County sheriff’s deputies said.
One person was in custody in connection with the stabbing, a sheriff’s spokesman said Wednesday morning. There was no immediate information about the suspect’s age or identity.
Around 8 p.m., deputies were dispatched to Griffith Way and Van Ness Boulevard for a call about a stabbing. The victim was transported by ambulance to a local hospital, officials said. The condition of the victim is unknown.
Perhaps you should count this as another reason — aside from it being just a better light display — to visit Cindy Lane in Clovis.
It’s also a nuisance to the people of north Fresno, if you believe this recent Letter to the Editor, which echoes similar sentiments from marathons past:
It is time for all of Fresno’s residents to share the marathon. Each year, residents of Fresno living near Woodward Park are severely inconvenienced with road closures.
Many residents affected by this would like the rest of Fresno to support the marathon, by hosting the marathon in their neighborhoods. It’s their turn to be locked up for a day with road closures.
For the first time I can remember, I actually agree with (almost) all the fresnobee.com commenters on this one. They gave the letter a hefty mocking.
SkyWalk — the indoor trampoline arena opening soon along Highway 41 just north of town — announced last night there had been a “break in” at its facility. I use quotes because the “news story” SkyWalk posted about the “break in” is so obviously fake that I question the intelligence of anyone who watched it for more than 15 seconds and thought it was real.
Judge for yourself:
I watched this and thought it was a fun attempt at viral marketing — something we don’t see a whole heck of a lot of around here. Then I went over to SkyWalk’s Facebook page and saw how it bounced right over the head of a bunch of people. See below. Sigh, Fresno. Sigh.
UPDATE: Today’s Bee has a bigger story on Rome’s booze shenanigans. You should read it. The general manager drops a number of gem quotes. Among them, he blames people being on medication and antidepressants, and ladies not being able to walk in high heels. Can’t make this stuff up.
ORIGINAL POST: Did you notice that everything seemed quiet over at Granite Park’s Rome Nightclub lately? So we knew this was coming. It was only a matter of time.
[T]he investigation into Club Rome’s possible violations began back in March, a month after it opened. It includes 16 allegations, like patrons fighting, urinating inside the club, vomiting because of consuming too much alcohol, and attacking a police officer. Fresno police met with the club owner to talk about the 42 times officers have had to respond to incidents.
Rome’s response? An ALL CAPS rant that said it would serve the suspension in December and then said the club the victim in all this.
If you thought Timmy T was just kickin’ back enjoying the Fresno heat these days, counting that “One More Try,” money, reveling in the 20-year anniversary of his song hitting No. 1 on the Billboard Pop charts, you’d be sorely mistaken.
From his throne as Fresno’s favorite son (sorry, K-Fed, if you came to visit once in a while …), Timmy has been quite busy doing ummm, stuff, on the internet. Yeah, “stuff” is the best word for it. You might recall his fondness for oversharing on Twitter and him trying to be a local reality show star.
Nowadays, he’s really putting in work on his YouTube channel, releasing lots of videos, most of them starring his model/actress wife Mia Torres. They’ve also got a dizzying Facebook group with 20,000 people in it. Timmy is becoming the Rupert Murdoch of Fresno — and I’m sure Mia would take a pie to the face for him.
The crux of a lot of their work is a woman-on-the-street show called “Like It or Lump It,” where Mia visits businesses and events and interviews people. Here’s one at local eatery Mama Mia. Watch out, Taste Fresno.
Patriotism is wishing — on the Fourth of July, mind you — that the sitting President of the United Stated DID get assassinated, as was falsely posted on the @FoxNewsPolitics Twitter account by hackers. Stay classy, Fresno!
The latest news is that Stevenson has proven comic Daniel Tosh right and gotten himself arrested for public intoxication. While wearing a “Free Weezy” T-shirt, no less.
Irving police were called to the Grand Venetian apartment complex at about 10:30 p.m. CT after receiving a call to report an intoxicated person walking in the area. Officers reported that Stevenson, who does not live at the complex, appeared intoxicated and did not know where he was.
Local comedian Chris Cruz has a big show this weekend at the Tower Theatre. In an effort to promote said show, he took the wrong road to Memeville and wound up with this video.
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