Not anytime soon by the look of things. Which, is probably OK when we get stuff like “Spank! The Fifty Shades Parody,” which just announced a one-night only performance July 13 at the Saroyan Theatre.
This new imagining of the characters comes to life with sharp-witted comedy, musical numbers, sexy striptease performances from the leading hunk, plus lots of surprises! Get there early for pre-show cocktails then stay to meet the cast and pose for a photo with Mr. Dangerous himself!
**Pre-show cocktails and after show meet and greet are not available for every performance. Please check with your box office.
Grab your girlfriends and don’t miss the most exciting show of the year!
So everyone is clear: “SPANK! The Fifty Shades Parody is not associated with, nor authorized by, author E.L. James or Vintage Press.”
Pre-sale tickets are $38 and on sale today and tomorrow. The password is fifty.
If that seems a bit quaint, keep in mind Dunham has a puppet, Achmed, who is a dead terrorist. So this isn’t you father’sgrand-father’s … it’s not what you’d expect, let’s say. Unless you’re one of Dunham’s millions of fans. Time Magazine called “the most popular comedian in the United States.”
He brings his “Disorderly Conduct” tour to the Save Mart Center on Sunday, and we have a pair of tickets to give away. Just leave a comment and tell us which is your favorite Dunham character. Deadline for the contest is 3 p.m. Friday.
OK. I am getting ready to go to the Rogue Festival this weekend and needed to pick up a few Rogue Bucks. I was just a little confused by the new math. Can someone explain it?
UPDATE 2: More memes arrived over the weekend. I’ve added them to the end of this post.
UPDATE 1, Friday afternoon: Wow. The response has been great. I’ve added several submissions from Beehive readers at the end of this post.
ORIGINAL POST at 12:13 p.m.:
It’s been a humorous week on the meme front, from the McKayla Maroney “not impressed” images to the Mars landing extravaganza. So photographer Craig Kohlruss and I couldn’t resist having a little fun and turning Mike Oz’s birthday crown photo (a gag inspired by Blimprov’s performance at his birthday party) into a meme. You can join the fun. Just download the file, create your meme and email me the photo for the Beehive.
If I’ve learned anything from the glut of online dating commercials that are on TV these days, it’s that finding a date is hard, and getting someone to go on more than one date with you is damn near impossible.
So in these desperate times, it doesn’t pay to be picky. A little leeway is to be expected, as this Craigslist ad illustrates (click to expand):
Don’t know if this is real, and I don’t care. It made me LOL, and that’s all I can ask from the Internet.
The guys from The Dumb Drum are back with another installment of their most hilarious Cross Streets series, in which they examine various local intersections. For this one, they head downtown to Divisadero and Fulton. I had an actual LOL moment in this one.
Dumb Drum’s Cross Streets series is easily one of the best things on the Interwebs of Fresno. Brodiemash and Bryan are back with their third installment, this time covering all 360 degrees of The Belmont Loop. If you missed the first two Cross Streets installments, you can see them here.
This College Humor parody pairs the Black Eyed Peas’ hot garbage hit song “I Gotta Feeling” with a dash of “The Hangover”-esque humor. Oddly enough, the pain this guy feels in the video is a lot like the pain I feel when I hear the original song.
I now want to beat the Black Eyed Peas with baseball bats.
This is way better than making a lame flier for your event. The guys from the Spanspek Music & Arts Festival made this funny video to help spread the word about their festival, which is Sept. 18 in Orosi. Most of the video doesn’t deal with the festival — it’s just funny.
There are three episodes of the Raaaaaaaaandy series, each a little more NSFW than the one before it. Seriously, folks, lots of naughty language ahead.
I scored a super last-minute interview with Kathy Griffin the other day to preview her Saturday night show at Saroyan Theatre.
The whole thing came together in 20 minutes, so I figured I’d ditch prepared questions and just let Kathy run with it. Of course, she did — harping on homophobes, her mom, winning Emmys and how she needs at least 20 protestors in Fresno.
You can download or listen to the MP3 below. The words version is the cover story in Friday’s issue of 7, so pick that up and give it a read.
While grabbing some grub at Chris Meat Market the other day, I saw this ad outside (in plain sight) — hoping, apparently, that people want to grab on some other stuff.
As far as I can tell, this is an ad for a prostitute who charges $25 per hour (but will also work for hamburgers). Should you be interested, you’d also need to pay for a hotel. Maybe it’s just me, but the hamburger part makes it seem a little suspect. What do you think? And more importantly, who’s going to call and report back?
And if, after all that, you’re asking, “Wait, I thought it was April Meat Market,” then consider yourself officially on notice that the name is once again Chris Meat Market. Here’s a photo to prove it.
Here’s a gem of a TV news story from WJW Fox 8 in Cleveland. It’s about a woman spotting a black bear in her backyard. The news team went to great lengths to show us the “bear” in question. Enjoy.
I know what you’re thinking: “That can’t be real.” Oh, but it is. I found the video on Fox 8′s Web site and everything. Me thinks Dwight Schrute would be proud of the intrepid reporting.
It’s all the local news and stuff from the blogosphere that you need to Fres-Know. It’s been a while, so we’re giving you a big one. Don’t dare say it.
KMPHATE? The top item on the GLAAD blog is about how KMPH aired a paid, anti-gay infomercial on Sunday. We have to ask: WWKD — what would Kopi do? [GLAAD Blog]
HIGH JINX: If an airplane has trouble, but only bloggers care … is it news? Mike Scott thinks so and is all over it. [CBS 47]
CAR DASHING: Two girls paid top dollar to meet Kim Kardashian at The Edge on Friday night. After hours of waiting, that didn’t happen, so they dashed outside, intercepted Kim as she left, got invited into her limo, then sent the pics to a vacation blog. [On Location Vacations]
GET OFF MY LAWN! Do you hate people? Wish they’d leave you alone? (I’m thinking of one blogger in particular) Or do you just wish those pesky solicitors would stop knocking at your door? Either way, check out this hilarious sign. [On Edge 559]
Obama’s new mission? Get Americans to band together and make our nation a little bit less of an embarrassing, disgusting s***hole, one 6′ 7″ hat-flipper at a time.
[Warning: language. That's how you know it's funny.]
In the following video, Patrick Duffy and a puppet crab discuss having a threesome with Courtney Cox. I’d question why, but I learned long ago not to look an Internet horse in the mouth.
My favorite ongoing SNL sketch, “Celebrity Jeopardy!” made a triumphant return during last weekend’s season finale. As usual, we got Will Ferrell as a downtrodden Alex Trebek, Darrell Hammond as a maniacal Sean Connery and a few other “celebrities.”
I got so nostalgic for “Celebrity Jeopardy!” that I collected every sketch below. Now go waste an hour or two laughing about Anal Bum Covers.
Will this fascination with “50 Shades of Grey” ever end?
MP3: