Two words: dancing chicken. She may be old, but she’s still got it.
Two words: dancing chicken. She may be old, but she’s still got it.
There’s a quote that I see frequently on Pinterest that appeals to my sense of humor and snark, while leaving the feeling my dirty undies are on display.
“If you marry a creative person, know that some days you’ll come home to a spotless house… and some days dinner will be forgotten, the kids will be in PJs and it will look like you were robbed. Find a way to appreciate both because the second will happen much more often than the first.”
Not long ago I made an amazing thrift store haul, which included one genuine diamond in the rough: a badly-tarnished silver platter that I picked up for $3.95. She’s so dingy and sad looking, I’m fairly certain that if my blue tag special could speak, she would just be silently weeping in her tainted, forgotten way.
As an incredibly thrifty individual (READ: cheap), it stands to reason that spending twice as much on a silver polish as I did on my silver platter would be a no-go. Harkening back to earlier days and conversations with my grandmother, I remembered her advice about an inexpensive (READ: dirt cheap) silver-polishing solution: baking soda.
There are a million reasons to trust baking soda with most tough cleaning jobs but the best one yet: just about every cleaning-solution manufacturer touts its greatness on their labels.
And this got me thinking: Why are we buying products with all these chemicals when, in the end, they all use the same magic ingredient available for 97 cents a box in the baking section? What else can this magic little cleaning muscle do?
Anyone in the midst of back-to-school preparations has likely noticed that the face of lunchtime has changed. A quick walk through the school supply section reveals a whole new landscape in the lunch aisle. Gone are the mini-metal, thermos-filled suitcases of yore, replaced now with square, compartmentalized containers in funky, insulated carriers. Gone, too, is the expectation that p, b and j slapped between a couple slices of white bread is healthy.
There has been a conscious movement among many parents to move away from sodium- or sugar-laden processed foods, hoping to control what goes down junior’s gullet with home-packed options. But this movement has highlighted another potential problem: You can lead a kid to a carrot stick, but you can’t make him eat it. Which is to say, you can pack a healthy lunch, but what good is it if it ends up in the trash or traded away?
That’s where these Bento-style containers and a little creativity come into play. With a few cookie cutters and a bit of forethought, providing a delicious, healthy lunch can be all that and a bag of chips. Except without the bag of chips.
The start of school always forces me to assess the chaos brought on by two months of life without strict timetables. My leisurely after-work evenings spent sipping wine, watching baseball and preparing late-evening meals will soon revert to taxiing kids to and fro, helping with homework and juggling their various activities. I can’t rely on having time for those belated, after-work trips to the grocery.
But everyone still needs to eat. And as I’m the cook, the menu planning falls on my plate, so to speak.
My solution to this dilemma: I’ve found that if I carve out 30 minutes on the weekend to plan out meals, I can save several hours of panic and last-minute grocery store scuttling.
Dear Expert Dog People,
I appreciate that you know everything there is to know about dogs. Not just dogs in general, not just specific dog breeds, but every single individual dog on the planet.
I appreciate that you ask me if you can pet my dog before you pet it.
I appreciate that, after I tell you “No, please do not pet my dog as she is intensely protective and does not like to be touched by strangers,” you smile and nod patronizingly.
I appreciate how you insist upon your deep and detailed understanding of dogs and reiterate your pet-whispering brilliance: How you love dogs. How you were practically raised in a pack since birth. Or how you work with them in some capacity.
I appreciate that you stand up for your expertise.
I appreciate it when you tell me — despite my reasoned answer — that it’s OK for you to touch my dog anyway.
But if we’re being completely honest? Mostly, I appreciate your wide eyes and startled gasp after moving your hand quickly from my dog’s snapping growl.
Deep down, in my heart of hearts, I appreciate that my dog has just added a specific note to your dog brilliance: always listen to the dog’s owner.
The summers of my childhood are defined by scorched feet, icy swimming pools, gulps of sweet water from the garden hose, salty potato chips and the barest, whimsical tinkling of what could be — wait, might be — is that music? YES. RUN FOR IT: the ice cream truck. And my favorite treat? The push pop: tangy frozen yogurt served in a plastic container that I continued to slurp on long after the icy confection had disappeared.
Fast forward to now, and the pleasant discovery that empty push pop containers are available in the baking aisles of most craft stores. And these days, home bakers fill the adorable (and reusable) contraptions will all kinds of clever desserts: layered fruit and yogurt; pudding and whipped cream; and, as I recently tried, small slices of cake and icing. The push pop concept has evolved into something a bit more elegant — but just as fun.
Office workers know how easy it is for time to fly by as we spend our summer days indoors. Sure, sitting in a windowless cubicle before the phosphorescent glow of a computer screen for eight hours is glamorous, but do you ever find yourself wishing you were in a meadow somewhere chasing butterflies?
Who says the office can’t be your own special meadow?
Next time you’re stuck with a late-night deadline, instead of cursing friends and coworkers enjoying themselves at the beer garden — you can format those TPS reports in the midst of your own cubicle butterfly garden. This project is not only cathartic, it’s simple! Even young kids can help.
So you think you’re the biggest Star Wars fan ever? You’re not alone. Apparently, Stephen Colbert and John Stewart think they are, too. (But they’re misguided as CLEARLY they haven’t come up against uber fan, Rick Bentley.)
Disney is offering mega fans the opportunity to be in Star Wars: Episode VII via a donation contest in support of UNICEF.
THE BASICS: Go here, donate money, and be entered to win a spot in the film. The more you donate, the more entries you get, the larger your chances of winning.
Regardless, check out the viral vid below.
For those that are curious… an update on my hatchlings…
Animals grow quickly. I’m sad to say that the very short period of the ‘Chick pic of the day’ has ended, as the little balls of fluff have grown into large, feathered, somewhat gawky things. They’re still small and technically still chicks, but at almost 7 weeks old, they are more like awkward preteens than sweet downy babies.
Sadly, one of the chicks had a very rough hatch (as in, from the egg), and passed at barely 2 weeks of age. The other two are quirky and growing beards and are, by all appearances, girls.
This is such a big deal, I had to announce it in CAPS. We’ve all been preparing for months, planning, waiting, dreaming of National Chocolate Day and it’s finally here! In fact, we’re all celebrating this national holiday by…
Huh. You’d think when you give a major food group its own holiday you’d have scores of retailers supporting its inherent goodness. Sales of chocolate should be through the roof. Every home should have some kind of sculpture created out of and in honor of the blessed stuff. One would expect Starbucks to create a special drink for this day, at the very least.
But it’s not turning out to be the type of holiday I expected. Granted, I’d only learned about 2-hours ago that National Chocolate Day existed at all, and this via some obscure very reliable tweet. But when I went to verify the veracity of this info, a quick internet “National Chocolate Day” search revealed some incredibly troubling information, indeed. First, my search uncovered merely two whopping news stories announcing the day — followed by several links that were wholly unrelated. And second, it gets worse.
I don’t want to shock anybody, but prepare for this punch in the face: July 4th is right around the corner. Literally, just over 2-weeks away.
Having the strong holiday associations that I do, for me, the fourth is about some kind of barbecued something or other slathered in sauce, corn on the cob, ice cold lemonade, my mom’s potato salad (which is the GREATEST ever) and homemade strawberry ice cream. (And then something about fireworks and ‘Merica. And baseball.)
I can explain away the barbecued goods, the corn, even the lemonade — but I have no idea where my July 4th/strawberry ice cream association came from. I just know it exists.
For years I have attempted to perfect a strawberry ice cream recipe: searching for the just-right combination of berries and cream, a recipe that churns out a concoction that is silky, smooth and sweet.
I’ve never once done it. Having failed miserably for a good 20 consecutive years now, I’d be happy to just end up with an edible batch of the stuff.
NO! Not this year! I’m asking for your help. Does somebody, ANYBODY, have a good strawberry ice cream recipe?
Here’s the deal:
Want to win a family 4-pack of vouchers good for almost any Fresno Grizzlies game of the season?
Dreaming of the beach…
I see what you did there.
Congratulations to all the grads out there.
It’s Father’s Day this weekend, which I believe I have previously touched on as the worst holiday EVER. My exhaustive list as to WHY this holiday is so stupid:
- I am terrible at giving Father’s Day gifts.
And there you have it. I’m horrible. No matter how much thought or effort or energy that goes into it, I invariably end up doing the exact WRONG thing. So I share with you some helpful hints — a list of “What not to do,” if you will — to help mold your day into a triumph.
It’s Monday: The day where you lay in bed continually repeating the mantra, “…just two more minutes… ”
It’s Friday night, baby! Celebrate like it’s a Wednesday. (The rest of the weekend, take Josh’s advice.)
A chick’s gotta eat.
Good morning, sunshine.
… Deep in the heart of suburbia in a smallish backyard designed for more suitable and acceptable hobbies like barbecuing and ping pong and only the occasionally well-mannered dog, resides a woman with a dual identity. By day, she’s a mild-mannered DIY writer, who spends her time crafting and desk surfing, guiding readers in intriguing intellectual pursuits — such as, “Learn how to straighten out that wobbly table using a turnip!” or “How to redecorate your entire home with beer caps!” But by night, she’s an obsessed wanna-be chickener, reading all she can about raising her own small flock in Outer Urbia — the land of tract homes and concrete and crabby neighbors.
We here in the Central Valley are surrounded by deliciousness – and I know this because Bee food writer Robert Rodriguez reminds me ON A WEEKLY BASIS of all the good that’s out there. A few weeks back it was strawberries; next up was cherries; and today, it’s ALL THE REST OF THE BERRIES.
If you haven’t been out to any of the Farmer’s Markets or farm stands (*thanks again, Bob*), do not delay any longer. Seriously don’t. Last weekend I bought 4 gallons — GALLONS — of jam berries (slightly overripe strawberries) for $8. With any luck, that much jam will keep my family set for the next year AND make some nice gifts come Christmas.
There were plenty of blueberries at the stand and while I didn’t grab any this time, I can promise future breakfasts will be doused in them.
But of all the delish items I procured last weekend, the pound of sweet cherries — or really, what I did with them when pitted — was my favorite. I made the best fresh cherry tart. Super easy– highly addictive.
In fact, for all the cherry tartless out there, here’s the recipe.
If you’re throwing a graduation party and planning on getting festive with your decorations, why go store-bought? You don’t have to invest in balloons, crepe paper and mylar cutouts. Here’s a cute, easy to make and inexpensive photo garland idea.
-photos of the grad through the years
- mini clothes pins
This one doesn’t need much of an explainer, it’s so simple. Drape a long piece of yarn; attach photos to the yarn with the mini clothes pins (large clothes pins would work fine as well). DONE. Hang your garland — or several garlands — in various places at the party space (behind a food table, against a wall, whatever). They’re fun and interesting; and, if you’re like me, use them to perfectly cover up smudges or other marks on your walls.