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Operation: Beat Boise (part 2)

Fresno State Bulldogs Vinyl Football.jpg

Somewhere along the way, the Beehive might have gained a teensy reputation for being, well, a little less than fanatical about Fresno State athletics. But that doesn’t mean we don’t care what happens in tonight’s game against Boise State. Heck, we’ve lost seven of the last eight matchups, so there’s a dim awareness even in the Beehive’s football-unimpressed ranks that there’s a sense of community pride at stake.

In Thursday’s paper, Bee sportswriter Bryant-Jon Anteola gave us a cover story filled with some very valid ways that the Bulldogs could win the battle. Now we’d like you to help us with Part II, which can be summed up in one word:

Cheat.

Here’s my way: Slip $35 — we can subtract it from Coach Hill’s salary, which means he’ll only make $999,965 this year — to the driver of the bus in charge of transporting the Boise State team to the stadium and ask him to drive to Yosemite instead. By the time the Broncos reach Oakhurst — and are marveling at just how scenic Fresno is despite what they’ve heard about its strip-mall topography — it will be far too late to get to the game on time. To cement the plan, we’ll arrange for a motorhome to drive 15 mph in front of the bus when it turns around on Highway 41. They won’t get back until the third quarter at least.

My prediction for the score: 436-28, Bulldogs.

Any more diabolical schemes out there for ensuring Bulldog victory?

Responses to "Operation: Beat Boise (part 2)"

Heather says:

Wait, I’ve heard of the basketball team, but are you telling me Fresno State has a football team, too? How am I just now hearing about this? Maybe I should have spent less time reading and studying while I was attending Fresno State.

blake says:

The Bulldogs?

Is that that team that has Sammy Hagar?

hawaiian boy says:

boise st spanked pat again. did you see his face after the game and how he disrespected coach Peterson!

Change the sport of football to be based on academic intelligence. Fresno State will win. Boise State Junior College might have a good football program but a degree from there is worthless.