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I Hate You, Mike Oz Vol. 8

Cut-and-pasting hate mail? Meh. I figured we could step the game up a bit.

After my column about Starline last week, I got a scathing e-mail from a guy who has been hating me for a while. I decided it would be best presented in a dramatic reading, so I asked Anthony Taylor of Organic Theater Factory to do the honors. (Plug: OTF’s “Glory Days” opens tonight, runs through the weekend and starts again next weekend. Go here for tickets.)

PREVIOUSLY:
I Hate You, Mike Oz: Vol. 1 | Vol. 2 | Vol. 3 | Vol. 4 | Vol. 5 | Vol. 6 | Vol. 7

Responses to "I Hate You, Mike Oz Vol. 8"

Heather says:

“Like BENTLEY … or MUNRO.” Awesome.

bradley says:

YES!

Seanguy says:

So…

a) Guy buys paper
b) Guy reads your article
c) Guy reacts to article
d) Guy writes to you for edification
e) Guy CONTINUES to buy paper

I think you’ve done your job admirably. You’re helping the Fresno Bee sell…

bradley says:

my favorite line too.

Allwino says:

Brilliant – nicely done, Anth!

Totally Completely Anonymous Commentor says:

Mr. Oz

Your attempt at humor was simply flawed by an awful choice of camera and an equally ridiculous choice of bumbleshoot theatre, provided by the blovious and false-accent stylings of Anthony Taylor.

Masterpiece Hate Mail was so much better when it was done by Bentley and Munroe, using true arteests like Roger Rocka and Alan Autry, not some “actor” no one under 40 has heard of…

Soon your 8000 word a week job will be read only by music and entertainment fans, not by casual readers with some intellect and a wheelchair like myself! I hope that puts you in your place, sir!

Never again shall I respond to your flotsam or jetsam!!

Until Next Time,

Totally Completely Anonymous Commentor

PS–Looking quite forward to ‘Glory Days’
PPS–But only to see if Anthony’s equally talented and gorgeous wife will be there, NOT to see HIM, for certain!
PPPS–Blahthah Bloopity Blah, Sir!

xxoo

Stephen

Sarah L. says:

Beyond amazing.

hootzie says:

Ha! Don’t blame you. I wouldn’t want to see me either!

My lovely and talented wife will be performing at our Cabaret Night NEXT Friday…just a heads up!!!

Ashley Taylor says:

This makes me happy on so many levels.

Claire L says:

So your hater is an aging, bitter and lonely individual who, instead of focusing on things that interest him, focuses on feeling ‘rage’ over the fact that his age group isn’t being catered to. He probably would have burst a blood vessel at the lovely gray haired couple who sat next tom me at a Linkin Park concert a couple of years ago. He’s probably deeply afraid of death and most likely it is because he’s going to die alone and will not be missed. Maybe that is his goal, to be missed, by his beloved Mike Oz. Oh Mike, cute, maybe he’ll leave you his collection of spent bullet shells.
Anyone who takes the time to A. stalk some young father who is typing out a living ( and hey Mr. Hatepants…. Mike Oz was hired to write about exactly what he’s writing about) and B. feels rage ( rage? really? RAGE? that’s pretty much admitting that you’ve jumped into the abyss of clock tower crazy) at the thought that someone is concerned that a small business, a company that provides jobs to people, is suffering at the hands of a blood thirsty community really needs to get some psychiatric help and fast.
The only people who should be more afraid than Mike is Munro and Bentley. Gentlemen, I’m afraid that there is a newspaper clipping shrine somewhere, and that can’t help you sleep at night.

Kent says:

Genius! I thought this was going to be hilarious and it exceeded expectations! Next time? A cute kitten.

Stephen says:

I haz a crush on Claire’s brain.

erica says:

LOVE IT!!

Anthony M. says:

That is the best!

ed says:

well done anthony. and mike, keep up the good work.

Beth Bridges says:

It was ALL Anthony… bringing life, meaning and intensity into an otherwise dull hate mail.

Bruce has repeated himself. Hmm, isn’t it a sign of “hack-ness” when you recycle stuff?

Silverlinin says:

Brillant!

Can someone send me the link for “MoronBook”, I have some photos I want to post there.

I LOVE MIKE OZ!! The “Hag Writer” :)

Kylie B. says:

Sir Anthony is my hero.

Crista says:

Hilarious! Keep up the good work, Oz.