FresnoBeehive.com

WELCOME
Welcome to The Beehive’s live blog for the 2011 Grammy Awards, music’s biggest circle-jerk night. Newest updates are on the top. Your comments are encouraged — what’s the point of watching these stupid awards if not to snark it up online. One rule: NO SPOILERS please if you’ve been following the East Coast feed online.

RECAP
Sizing up the big winners of the night:

- Arcade Fire: Pretty obvious. They won album of the year and a lot of people are saying “Who?” Tomorrow, many of them will go and find out. So this obviously elevates their status out of the “indie” rock realm.

- Lady Antebellum: Winning both record of the year and song of the year will help Lady A solidify themselves as legitimate crossover stars. Add this to Taylor Swift’s dominance last year, and you’ve got back-to-back Grammys where the new country stars had a big impact.

- Esperanza Spalding: The best new artist winner has people saying “who?” more than Arcade Fire. She also seems to have pissed off the Bieber fans.

- Cee-Lo: He didn’t win any of the big awards, but he definitely got some attention with his colorful performance. It was a playful spin on a song that might have irked people because of salty language.

- Mumford & Sons/Avett Brothers: Their performances (part of a collaboration with Bob Dylan) were both well done. Since most people haven’t heard of either act, I’m sure they gained some fans this evening.

COMMENTARY
11:30: Thanks to everyone who commented along. You made it easier to watch this year. G’night!

11:29: So, final grade? I’m thinking I give a C+ just because some of the performances were good, and I was impressed with a couple of award picks.

11:27: How fitting was it that the first words from Arcade Fire when they went up to accept were “What the hell?” That’s what a whole lot of people were thinking too. Music snobs, of course, are going to be very happy with this news, as its a deserved win from a band that more people should now. This will help with that fact. And, it’s a bit amazing for an award show like the Grammys, which I expect so much less from. I have to say good job on this one, Grammys.

11:22: Now, it’s album of the year time aka the end of the show. Let’s do this thing, Grammys. I’m predicting Eminem, but I’m hoping Arcade Fire, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Gaga got it just so the Grammys seem “relevant.” Katy Perry ain’t getting nothing. And the winner is … ARCADE FIRE?!? Wow. I’m floored.

11:13: Arcade Fire is performing now with megaphones, lots of shouting and bike riders. They’re the oddball entry in album of the year (the last remaining award). I hope they win — it would be cool for the Grammys to recognize an indie rock band like them. But I REALLY don’t think that’s happening. This performance makes it clear that they don’t quite fit in with the Grammys.

11:09: OK, I’m about tired of this. Here’s a look at how the end of the show is shaping up: 21 more minutes, one more award and about five minutes of attention span left for me. Sadly, it doesn’t add up.

11:03: Time for record of the year. I’m still going with Cee-Lo on this one. But the just-performed indicator would tell me that Rihanna and Em might win. Uh oh. I hope not. We’ll find out in a second … It’s “Need You Now” by Lady A … again. Didn’t think they’d get both of them.

10:59: More Rihanna? OK, this is an odd confession, but I can’t hear this song (or any of hers, really) without thinking of the “Shy Ronnie” skit from SNL.

10:58: Going back to Nicki Minaj: I hope she slipped Lady Gaga a “Thank You” note tonight. If not for Gaga’s fame, nobody would have bought this hip-hop-ized version of her gimmick.

10:52: Wait, if I knew Nicki Minaj and Will.I.Am were up next, I might have said “More Streisand!” They’re up for best rap album … which Eminem will win, because he’s in the running for best rap album. Duh! Aaaaaand, he did. I stand by an earlier comment that Eminem put out a C record and is getting heaps of undue for praise for it.

10:49: Barbara Streizzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzand.

10:47: Wait, did the Grammys forget Guru from Gang Starr on the “In Memoriam” part? Wack.

10:41: From the comments: “Is it me or is it kinda surreal that Mick is performing right after the In Memoriam portion of the show?” – Michael.

10:39: I said it when the Stones came to Fresno and I’ll say it again tonight … Mick Jagger is a helluva showman. In fact, I think he was wearing a similar green get-up when they were here.

10:33: R.I.P. to a lot of music folks.

10:30: And now for the worst part of the show: we get a lecture from the head of the Recording Academy.

10:26: I rewound to see Bieber’s reaction to not winning. He started to clap, then whipped his head around like he was shocked to not have won. Don’t worry, kid, you’ll make money more than this year than she’ll probably make in her entire career. But for now, we’re all kinda happy you took an L.

10:21: Best new artist time. While I don’t really like him, I’m rolling with Drake on this one. He’s watered-down hip-hop enough to appeal to Grammy voters. But I hope either Mumford & Sons or Florence + The Machine wins. Woah! Jazz singer Esperanza Spalding gets it. She was the total longshot. To be honest, I haven’t even heard much from her. Gotta check her out tomorrow. I’m just glad it wasn’t Bieber.

10:19: Meh, Dr. Dre. I’ll be more impressed if you ever put out “Detox.”

10:17: Good job, Eminem — perform two different songs that sound pretty much the same.

10:16: How did Maroon 5′s Adam Levine get a gig singing back-up for Eminem and Rihanna? Also: I hated this song the first time I heard it, and I hate it now … so I don’t really mind the long bleeps.

10:12: That “Like a G6″ song should not even be allowed to be played during a commercial break at the Grammys.

10:04: Song of the year is up. Nice to see Ray LaMontagne in here (check him out, if you’re not familiar). I still think it’s either “F*ck You” or “Need You Now.” We’ll see in a second … It’s Lady A for “Need You Now,” a deserved win for them. So I’m thinking Cee-Lo gets the record of the year now.

10:03: From the comments: “aww, nicole kidman stopped singing along [with Katy Perry] when she realized the camera was on her. that’s like getting caught singing in your car.” – ed

10:00: So we’re two hours into this thing. What’s your grade so far? Honestly, it hasn’t been as bad as I thought it would be. Some decent performances, but not enough awards. I’ll give it a C-.

9:58: I dunno that I can stand to hear Katy Perry’s hit songs anymore … but I can always stand to look at Katy Perry. Good thing she’s not doing “Firework.”

9:56: NPH should host this thing.

9:52: Cee-Lo looks like a gladiator mixed with the San Diego Chicken. That was super gimmicky … but it was fun. Never thought I’d see the guy from Goodie M.O.B. doing that.

9:47: … And Cee-Lo wins most outlandish outfit of the night.

9:46: How does Jamie Foxx always end up on the Grammys? Right now, he’s introducing Cee-Lo.

9:45: Lady A is going to win best country album now, because they just performed. That’s how it works. See? Like every time. I joke about it each time, but I think it does signal how the awards are secondary to the performances on the Grammys.

9:43: “Need You Now” should win either song of the year or record of the year tonight … and I think Lady A just did a good job of pleading its case.

9:39: Clay Matthews (of the Packers) looks like Ian from Fresno band Strange Vine. Or is just me?

9:35: Here’s what my dog thinks of The Grammys. Sorry to be putting you through this, Bauer. Please forgive me.

9:33: I was able to understand a lot more of Bob Dylan’s words that I thought I would. I guess that’s a win in Bob Dylan-land. (Sidenote: That one dude from the Avett Brothers in the suit gets down).

9:29: I’m glad the Avett Brothers got a nice spot on here. They’re good. They deserve it. Check them out, if you haven’t. They’ve played out at the Hanford Fox a couple times.

9:25: I’m hopeful for this Mumford & Sons, Avett Brothers and Bob Dylan collab.

9:23: Two awards in a row? Really? It’s best pop album with Gaga, The Bieb and Katy Perry up against each other. Probably Gaga …. and it is. She’s got a plastic butt? Must be hard to sit in that. And horns on her face? OK, that’s more of the Gaga we expect.

9:19: From Debbie in the comments: “Seriously, this is almost painful to watch – most boring show EVER!” Agree? Disagree?

9:16: Adele’s “Rolling in the Deep” getting some movie commercial treatment, huh? That might be the best song I’ve heard all night. In a commercial.

9:15: Dear West Coast … DON’T go to grammy.com right now, unless you want to see all the spoilers. While I agree that’s probably a better use of your time, but then you wouldn’t get to see how fine Katy Perry is probably going to look tonight.

9:13: Best rock album time. I’m predicting Muse, since they already performed and that’s how these things tend to work. See how predictable you are, silly Grammys.

9:12: Does this song have lyrics?

9:10: Ya know, Will Smith, I always liked you. Why are you and your offspring so determined to change my mind?

9:07: I do appreciate that The Bieb started off by playing guitar before launching into the same ol’ song and dance … and here comes the the same ol’ song and dance. Ohhh, actually, it reminds of a level in “Double Dragon.”

9:05: Who bugs your more? Bieber or Will Smith’s kid? I’m going with Will Smith’s kid … until The Bieb stars in a “Teen Wolf” remake.

8:58: Could it be? Two awards in one hour? Hurry up and squeeze it in before 9 p.m., Grammys. This female country vocal award is an easy one: Miranda Lambert. And … yep, she won it.

8:57: If you’ve never checked out Janelle Monae and are the least bit intrigued by her tonight, I recommend checking out more of her music. She does some really interesting and different stuff. Nice that B.o.B. and Bruno stuck around to play guitar and drums for her. These three would make for a good tour.

8:52: I’m digging this Bruno Mars performance. Between this and whatever Cee-Lo is gonna do, I think vintage soul is gonna win tonight.

8:50: Monocles FTW!

8:49: Ryan Seacrest? Ack. Get off my TV.

8:45: Bruno Mars, B.o.B., and Janelle Monae … congrats, Grammys. You’ve managed to make me look forward to something.

8:43: While I’m very tired of this Muse song (sorry, Beehive boss Kathy), the performance was pretty good. I liked when TVs got smashed and it looked like someone was playing “Tetris” on the video screens. I’m willing to bet Muse made themselves some new fans tonight.

8:38: Wifey on Lenny Kravitz: “He looks like he climbed out of a cardboard box.” I think he looks like an extra in the 2pac/Dr. Dre “California Love” video.

8:37: I have nothing positive nor negative to say about Miranda Lambert’s performance. It was fair. It’s not beating Lady Antebellum in the major categories, though.

8:35: OK, the over/under for number of awards handed out in the first hour is two. Anybody making a bet?

8:33: Where’s the spoiler alert, Ken Malloy? I guess somebody “unexpected” wins something.

8:28: That wasn’t all that envelope-pushing, weird or even interesting. Sorry, Gaga fans. I don’t hate the song, though … yet.

8:24: Sorry, this just sounds like “Express Yourself” to me … Madonna, not N.W.A.

8:23: It’s Gaga time … she’s about to get hatched.

8:21: First award of the night for best pop performance by duo or group goes to … please not the Glee kids … please not the Glee kids … Yay! Not the Glee kids. Oh crap, it’s that annoying “Hey Soul Sista” song. Maybe the Glee kids would have been better. btw, I thought this was just a commercial jingle. It’s a real song?!?

8:19: “Why give a diamond when you can give the family jewels” says CBS, urging us dudes to check out our nards for V-Day. Does that mean if I don’t do that, then I have to give diamonds? Uh oh.

8:16: From the comments: “Well, if you’re gonna tribute, do so to excess!” So says Bee scribe Tim Sheehan. I also saw a Tweet that said “Best opening ever.” What did you guys think?

8:14: Woah. Did you see Christina Aguilera fall at the end there? I bet she’s looking forward to not doing something stupid on a national TV show next Sunday.

8:11: Of the solos, I thought it was gospel singer Yolanda Adams who brought it the best. She does, of course, have God on her side.

8:06: Am I the only one thinking this is going to devolve into “Lady Marmalade” any second now? (Sidenote: It’s nice to see Ms. Florence + The Machine get a good spot like this).

8:04: Christina Aguilera seems like she’s remembering the words.

8:02: We start with an Aretha Franklin tribute … and LL Cool J yelling a lot.

7:58 p.m.: It’s almost here. None of us are getting the next three hours back, folks. But I think “60 MInutes” had that feature on the Chilean miners before the Grammys for a little perspective. We could be trapped somewhere worse.

OPENING THOUGHTS
- My predictions in the big categories are here. Though, who knows what those crazy Grammy voters will actually do this year.

- The Grammys really need to start showing this live for the West Coast. Other award shows have started doing it — heck, the Twitter/Facebook age pretty much demands it. It’s not like the rest of the networks even care about the Grammys. They’ve got new primetime offerings tonight, instead of punting the night as a loss to “music’s biggest night.” Putting the awards on at 5 or 6 p.m. would give the Grammys a more captive audience. I just don’t now that people care enough about the Grammys to skip “Family Guy” or “Extreme Home Makeover.”

- How odd/sad is it that one of the biggest storylines of the night is “What will Lady Gaga wear?” (Maybe we just watch too much E! at my house). Is that what pop music has become? A look inside Lady Gaga’s crazy ass closet?

- Here’s an L.A. Times link on pre-show awards. You can also follow winners at grammy.com, but just know that it has spoilers.

- I hope this doesn’t suck as much as last year.