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The Beehive’s Totally Tubular Tea Party

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As you probably know by now, people from Fresno and the greater central San Joaquin Valley are gathering today for the Central Valley Tea Party, a protest about over-taxation by sore losers.

For you tax-paying working stiffs who can’t make it over to the Save Mart Center to party with the Glenn Beck mafia KMJ, we at The Beehive have decided to throw our own Tea Party. Like the in-person event, ours is also dedicated to giving a voice to the right people.

So, teabaggers Beehive readers, we ask that you make yourselves heard in The Beehive’s Totally Tubular Tea Party. We’ve outlined below what we believe to be the most important issues facing us in these troubling times and encourage you to sound off.

ICED TEA vs. HOT TEA
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ARIZONA vs. SNAPPLE
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LONG ISLAND ICED TEA vs. TOKYO TEA
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T PAIN vs. T. BOONE PICKENS
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MR. T vs. T-REX
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HENRY T. PEREA vs. TIMMY T
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Responses to "The Beehive’s Totally Tubular Tea Party"

james says:

I love you, Mike Oz.

blake says:

T-Bone Burnett, man. Dude’s produced a lot of good records.

Mark T says:

Iced Tea, Snapple, Long Island, T Pain, Mr. T, and Timmy T all FTW!

In remembrance of those getting tea bagged today, I encourage all of us to drink liberally.

Abe Lopez says:

I don’t like tea in any form, protest or beverage. So I’m just gonna vote on the last two categories.

I’ll take Mr T. over T-Rex – Cause he takes pity on fools.

Henry T. over Timmy T. 1) Cause I have met Henry and he’s cool people. 2) Timmy’s songs were just a bit too sappy for my taste.

Kiel says:

Teeter Totters rule!

Anthony M. says:

Mr. T would strangle a T-Rex with his bare hands.

I pitty the fool that thinks otherwise!

Solitaire says:

LOL… this definitely is a good perspective piece Oz… :) I needed a laugh today :)

bradley says:

Thankfully someone has a sense of humor about this embarrassing teabagging thing.

And thank god Timmy T made an appearance in your list. An unsung Fresno treasure.

Kim Burly says:

This post will have to be an entire verse in my “I Love Mike Oz” song.

MsJoey says:

Those T-Baggers were in full effect this weekend with their signage up and down Blackstone Ave. It was so annoying that when we stopped at a red light, my daughter leaned out the window and asked, “What are you trying to accomplish, here?” Sadly, the 85-year-old woman who was barely holding the sign had no response. They stared at each other until the light turned.
It was the ultimate staring contest.

So for that I vote T-mac aka, my kid!

MsJoey says:

Oh wait! I just realized that when I go to class at the Peters Auditorium which is adjacent to the Save Mart Center, I’m gonna have to fight these T-baggers for parking!
AND I have a Stats test!!!

Great, somehow nonsense is always trying to thwart my plans!!!!!

Karma says:

some of these need hardly a second thought, for instance Mr. T vs. T-rex. hello? Mr. T all the way. (i just might be biased because we share the same birthday and that automatically makes him cool)
and T bone Pickens, the oil billionare turned renewable energy pioneer. that ranks pretty high in my book.
the rest?
i honestly don’t really care about, except it’s cool that you mentioned Timmy T.

jayparks says:

Iced T, Snapple, T-Boone, Mr. T, and Henry T.

NO ONE DENIES THIS!

@Mark T: drink liberally….very nice.

little henry hasnt been seen since he snuk out the back door of palominos the nite he was losing the election

Heather says:

He was at Palomino’s last Friday night, and seemed to be having a good time.

Heather says:

Mike Oz, I can’t believe you didn’t include Baby T Pain.

I saw the signs around town for this Tea Party crap, but I didn’t bother to investigate it further because I could just tell it was going to be something ridiculously stupid.

I was right.

Great post…another exciting debate brews at teh Hive…

As a person who had several “T”-based nicknames in high school, I am particularly interested in this post…

ftw:
Mister
Henry
Boone

ftl:
all beverages

missing:
Sleepwear: T-shirts vs. night-T (took liberty with revised spelling…I used MsJoey’s cranial dictionary…my new favorite dictionary)

Cell Service: T-mobile vs aT&T

Mike Oz says:

I almost put T-Mobile vs. AT&T, but I figured they both suck.

I’m in all in favor of more T matchups, though — bring ‘em on.

Stephen says:

@Ms Joey–

You shouldn’t have many worries about parking.

Yesterday they estimated 1,000 people would be there. Today on Great Day, the organizer estimated 500-600.

I think they’ll be lucky to get 250.

And I vote for Tee Ball vs Tea Bagging.

Donald Munro says:

Teezer’s vs. TGI Friday’s. (OK, that’s a stretch.)

Row T at the John Wright Theatre at Fresno State beats Row T at the Saroyan any day.

Beth Bridges says:

“I’m sick and tired of people who say that if you debate and disagree with this administration, somehow you’re not patriotic. We need to stand up and say we’re Americans, and we have the right to debate and disagree with any administration.”

~Hillary Rodham Clinton

mdub420 says:

how come it’s okay to protest and march for gay rights, but it’s stupid to stand up and protest against paying more taxes? i’m not happy about paying 8.975% in sales taxes now, are you guys?

i’m just saying. maybe you guys are happy to pay more taxes. i already pay enough and am about to pay the State $250 today. I should send those pieces of s*** an I.O.U. like they were doing to people in February, but if I do that, I’ll get his with penalties and fees. They’ll file a levy and take the money right out of my account.

are you guys happy to bailout people who can no longer pay their mortgages, and yet they have a bigger house than us?

F**k AIG and the other pieces of shits that get billions of dollars to do the same shit they continue to do. F**k them all. F**k a politician too. F**k Bush, F**k Obama, F**k them all. This tea party isn’t going to accomplish s**t, but it’s still great to see some people actually standing up and saying something, no matter that they are wasting their time.

After all that, I’m thankful I still have my job.
Sorry for the rant, I’m just pissed off about all this “they are wasting their time”, damn republicans, etc. F**k a democrat and a republican. they are the reason why we are living in a nation that is divided, not united. Divided States of America is the country we are living in now.

Nancy says:

Tea, T, Tee all around and not a drop of water to drink.

People DO have the right to protest pretty much anything, but it’s STILL hard for me to even fake interest in whining over taxes when nearly half of the people in Mendota are unemployed because there is NO WATER.

Wait…WHO’S priorities are mixed up?!?

brodiemash says:

All this tea talk has me heading to Starbucks for lunch. Mmmmmm, Shaken Ice Tea Lemonade FTW!

Poplord says:

I need to grab a roll of Bounty, because this thread is dripping with irony…

I can’t believe it.

I’m agreeing with mdub420 on this one.

And I’m considering hitting the SMC after work to take photos of what’s REALLY happening there.

I’m not sure what it accomplishes, but I’m glad somebody is against more taxes, bull**** bailouts of bad business practices, etc…

As for the other Ts…

Any tea, hot or cold. But not Snapple OR Arizona because of use of refined sugars and artificial sweeteners. Neither of the alcoholic things because the just don’t sound good. T Rex because dinos are cool. T Boone, also cool. And Henry, because I have no idea who Timmy T is.

The Real Dave says:

cool

Conlan says:

I have to say, I agree with mdub. There’s nothing stupider about this one than any other protest. Also, I refuse to choose between iced and hot.

booey says:

Nothing like privlaged white guys crying how everthing isn’t fair, when oh when will it start to look up for the white guy?

MsJoey says:

So I just walked from Save Mart Center to Barstow.
They closed the WHOLE entire parking lot of the Save Mart Center to make room for the Tea Party peeps. As of 15 minutes ago, it was 1/4 full.
Sad, really considering the party started 50 minutes ago.
The only thing that looked half interesting was the bounce house.

Heather says:

Every legitimate protest needs a bounce house.

poplord says:

Low turnout? Maybe it’s beCAUSE THEY WORK FOR A LIVING! Read some Churchill for crying out loud…and spelling still counts…oh, and a shout out to the Main “T” Tony Soprano.

Michael says:

I think the reason why people are saying the Tea(bag) Protest is that is has NOTHING to do with the original.

The Boston peeps tossed tea into the bay to protest the increase on the tea tax that they had no say in the vote (i.e. taxation without representation). As usual the right (whom I am proud to say I am no longer a part of) beat their collective chest and spout the Founding Fathers and yet their little d-bag fest has nothing to do with the original. You see, the people who raised the taxes were voted in by us.

Don’t like what they are doing? Vote their asses out of office. But things like this will get nothing done yet make people think they are doing something worthwhile.

ed says:

poplord,
why did you capitalize the last 2/3 of because?

and if the turnout was low due to possible participants working, perhaps the organizers should have rethought the date or the targeted demographic.

as for the t’s
hot tea
snapple tea
tokyo tea
t boone pickens
mr. t
htp

Hid says:

Where was the tea party when Bush gave away billions with no oversight?

Erica says:

I could not agree more!

tea pussy says:

those Fresno tea baggers are a bunch of *****s if they really meant what they were saying then they would have marched to the Fresno IRS buildings to really protest. What a bunch of lamers they are bleeding heart churls.