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The most important thing EVAR: It’s baaa-aack

In case you were unaware, distracted or otherwise avoiding the universe, it’s official: fall has arrived. Shut up, calendar purists. The chronological passage of time means nothing in the face of REAL LIFE. And the governance of real life has long since moved away from the movement of the stars and cataloging the Earth’s relationship/position relative to the sun.

Real life and the signaling of the passage of time is the responsibility of corporations and we don’t know what time of year it is unless they tell us.

Do not be fooled.

Spirit Stores springing up about town does not mark the official beginning of fall; it alerts you to Halloween season, which is similar but totally and completely different (and now I’m ashamed to look at you in your ignorance).

The arrival of pumpkin-flavored IPAs in the beer aisle also does not signal anything except maybe that the weather might sometime in the distant future get cooler so the drinking of such beer won’t be as gross.

pslAnd the arrival of football only means that FOOTBALL season has arrived and nothing else. You’d be a fool to confuse it with anything other than the possibility that queso dip/chicken wing season is on the horizon. Plus it’s still baseball season, so pipe down.

No. Some 10-years ago, it was ordained that one of the biggest corporations to come out of Seattle — and NOT THE COSMOS — would evermore signal the change from smog and hot season to luscious, perfect fall — and said change would commence with the arrival of a flavored coffee.

Here, of course, I am speaking of the much lauded, highly regarded, ever revered Pumpkin Spice Latte.

It has arrived. Yesterday. And now we can all get on with the rest of our insignificant lives, but with a delicious, creamy coffee in hand.

Happy autumn.

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