The top 5 signs you're not in Fresno anymore
After my holiday trip home to the Bay Area last week, I came up with this list of things that made me realize I wasn't in Fresno anymore.
5. Apartment parking lots are filled with BMWs, Benzs and Lexi (is that the plural of Lexus?) Guess that's how it is when normal houses cost like $750,000 $650,000.
4. Four bucks to cross a bridge? Daaaaaaamn!
3. There's good music on the radio. Get this, I clicked on KMEL on Christmas Eve and heard these three songs in a row: Run DMC's "Christmas in Hollis," Nas' "Halftime" and AZ's "Sugar Hill."
2. Carpool lanes -- having only gone home a few times this year, I had almost forgotten these existed.
1. Tom Shane is on the radio. If you've ever listened to the radio in the Bay Area for any amount of time, chances are you've heard Tom Shane shilling for his jewelry store, The Shane Company (with locations in Cupertino, San Mateo, Novato and Walnut Creek!) on just about every radio station that will take his money. Oh, Tom -- as annoying as you were, I do miss ya sometimes.
If your holiday journey led you somewhere else and you got some "You're not in Fresno" signs of your own, drop them in the comments. First person who says "There's stuff to do" gets smacked!
Comments:
a new strip mall isn't the neatest thing in town.
Posted by: floyd at December 29, 2008 11:44 AM
l love FRISCO, y we in Fresno idk lmao
Posted by: anita at December 29, 2008 11:44 AM
Oz. plural of Lexus = Lexus'
Posted by: nj towel at December 29, 2008 12:17 PM
Good to know ...
Posted by: Mike Oz at December 29, 2008 12:25 PM
Hahahahahaha!!! Mike you are brilliant.... I find this hilarious! :)
Posted by: Renee N at December 29, 2008 12:58 PM
differences (at first blush) Metro-NY 'suburbs vs: Fresno
1. tons of trees, (loads of them, even with the leaves down, their branches form this whispery gray transition to the sky, --which has clouds and stuff in it (like airplanes and birds) vs: 'blue' for months.
-weather is kinda normal (though yesterday it was 65) usual day weather this time of year: 40 or so, maybe lower.
2. I may decide to walk on the boardwalk at the beach tonight, I have many options, and they're all only about an hour away (if that.)
3. we have these things out here called trains and busses, -and they're all within a 10 minute walk, --and they go everywhere.
4. crossing into Manhattan? (I think) 6 to 8 bucks now... (if you go by car, --train ticket? maybe 6 to ten bucks round trip...
5. houses here are almost all two story, none with airconditioning units on the roof...
6. roads: twisty, turny, with hills, driving is like a videogame,) which, even with crazy drivers? they all use their indicators anyway. --and the unmarked cars are black dodge challengers... (way cool.)
7. Normal discussion around the dinner table, -where somebody went to college, grew up, moved off to, and how they're doing great, ---but moving from 'home' and 'home-town' is seen as a sign of maturing, reaching out, finding yourself, and going farther, and spoken of with pride,) --folks who stay local are seen as successful too, --but there better be college involved.. (we don't call it 'brain drain,' we call it: 'leaving the nest.'
PS: So many colleges? it's not a matter of 'if,' it's 'which?'
8. the squirrells are huge, gray and fat.
8a. the deer are huge, also fat, and all over the place.
9. When the Giants loose in the last few seconds of a game (to the vikings) by a fieldgoal? the whole state groans, gasps, and shakes their head, (causing weather problems.)
-When the freakin' Eagles totally pants the cowboys?
we assume God is napping, and call our local priest (catholic or not.) -but in the end, we don't mind that the cowboys 'lost,' --just that the Eagles 'didn't loose.'
10. We have tons of Irish, Italians, Jews, Polish, African Americans everywhere, and they're just 'neighbors.'
There are pizza joints all over the place, and I can step out and get a couple of slices (slices are normal here,) for less than three bucks... and even when somebody say 'mob connected,' or 'not' it's seen as just different career paths, and you probably went to school with somebody's little sister or brother who 'is,' and know that, 'you know, they're okay, and have their problems and happiness like anyone else.',
11. (bonus)
Prop 8?
never would have happened, and when you try to explain the whole thing? Folks are like '...you're kidding, whats the big deal? It's nobody's business, why prevent somebody else from being happy, why should people have to live 'hiding,' when it hurts no-one?'
Posted by: 'jersey (towel) devil cntd at December 29, 2008 1:04 PM
The wife and I went to SF for Phantom a week ago, and I noted a couple of additional things:
* Cars are an inconvenience in SF, and while we complain about paying for parking, I'd rather feed a meter until 6 p.m. here than pay another $50 for overnight...
* Green space. They have it - we just have space.
Posted by: fresno rock taco at December 29, 2008 1:45 PM
It's $6 to cross the Golden Gate Bridge back from Sonoma County...guess you didn't do any wine tasting on your trip!
Tom Shane...that voice! LOL! Ah, home sweet home.
Posted by: Danielle at December 29, 2008 2:01 PM
@Danielle: I was just going across the ol' Dumbarton to go to IKEA. But $6 ... daaaaamn!
@FresnoRockTaco: Look at you being all serious.
@NJ Towel: What's a train?
Posted by: Mike Oz at December 29, 2008 2:06 PM
In San Francisco, you can get any kind of cuisine, no matter how late. I miss that. And where are you from, Mike? I grew up in San Mateo!
Posted by: zara at December 29, 2008 3:23 PM
I'm from Fremont ... but I been to Hillsdale Mall before.
Posted by: Mike Oz at December 29, 2008 3:25 PM
When you see actual grown women, and not 16 year old girls carrying Coach bags, you know you're not in Fresno.
When people aren't super excited about a trip to Target...
When people aren't wearing their pajamas at the supermarket...
Posted by: teresa at December 29, 2008 7:25 PM
I listen to KNBR regularly here in Da Frez, so I continue to have a friend in the diamond business...until the sun goes down and the signal goes ffzzzzzztttthhhppt.
Posted by: Jody at December 30, 2008 1:32 PM
Fresno Radio has to be the worst in the world I went back home to L.A. and the Djs were tearing it down mixing non-stop all day long no pre-recorded same 15 song BS. Don't get me wrong the station I'm speaking of Power 106 usually plays the same crap over and over during the daytime but at night they always tear it down. I always wondered how Fresno could be smack in the middle of 2 of the biggest metro areas in the country (LA and Bay Area) yet consistently be 5-6 months behind music wise.
Posted by: EdHardyWearingDouchebag at January 5, 2009 8:27 PM
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