Dear Girl at the Rite Aid Ice Cream Counter:
I realize you could care less about what I think of you, since you were probably oblivious that someone else was even behind you in line.
Still, I couldn't help but overhear your phone conversations (maybe sshhhh a little more next time). Much like I couldn't miss that three-inch jean skirt of yours and how you kept twirling your fingers in your hair. But I didn't make up my mind about you until you started with the lies.
You were in ice cream line. Why did you lie and tell whoever was on the phone that you were getting gas? Why did you then say, "he's on the other line, I have to go." But nobody was.
Why, a couple minutes later, tell a different caller you were "on your way," then cover the receiver, order your ice cream, then get back on the phone and say, "I'm waiting at a stop light right before the freeway."
No, you were getting a pint of Chocolate Brownie ice cream. I saw.
It's none of my business, I know. But I can't help but wonder why you can't just tell the truth. What's the purpose of lying so frivolously? If you said "I'm at Rite Aid getting ice cream," what's the worst that could happen? Someone would ask you to bring them some too?
PREVIOUSLY
Dear Person Playing Gospel Music Really Loud at 7 a.m.
Comments:
Mike:
That story is SO cooinkadinkle.
My GF...a Rubenesque lass....has sworn off ice cream and other sweets. 'smatter o' fact, I told her she could drive my Hemi IF she filled it up...got home quickly...and above all...stayed away from ice cream.
HEY!! WAYDDAMINNIT
Posted by: John at October 8, 2008 4:36 PM
Cell phones: turning people into loud, lying, useless talking heads one bastard at a time.
What flavor did you get? Cookies n cream? I would have gotten cookies n cream, but only if they didn't have peppermint.
Posted by: Heather at October 8, 2008 4:41 PM
This is THE most fantastical story you've ever written. I lol'd at my desk because i could have easily been that girl, what with the 3 inch skirt and the mouth full of lies! so what if i sit in my car eating chocolate malted crunch all alone. ITS NONE YO DAMN BIZNAZZZZ!!!!
good work, friend.
Posted by: MsJoey at October 8, 2008 4:44 PM
MMMMMMMM.... ice cream :)
Posted by: Renee N at October 8, 2008 4:45 PM
Maybe she was on the phone with her dad Lane Kiffen, you know Al Davis called him a professional lier in front of about oh I don't know, 5 million people!
Maybe she knew who you were Oz and the poor creature got freaked and didn't know how to say, "Hi."
Posted by: Mr. Incognito at October 8, 2008 4:49 PM
Damnit I want some ice cream now. Thanks Mike.
Posted by: Michael at October 8, 2008 4:52 PM
...I'm just thinking:
yappy lying icecream monster in a three inch denim skirt,
and it's not a happy visual...
thanks oz,
I really wasn't interested in dinner anyway...
(gonna go find a bromo.)
Posted by: wet towel at October 8, 2008 6:05 PM
I wonder if she was more worried about being at RiteAid instead of Ben and Jerry's buying ice cream, or just the buying of the ice cream.
Which RiteAid was it? I usually get mine at the KC/Clovis store after I leave the Library.
Posted by: smokeybehr at October 8, 2008 7:16 PM
you saw amber frye at rite aid too?
Posted by: dave at October 8, 2008 8:48 PM
The question is, have you tried to malt crunch ice cream? They sell it at the counter, or by the 1/2-gallon in the freezer section. Awesome.
Posted by: James at October 8, 2008 9:04 PM
Why tell the truth when it is just as easy to lie?
I hope that girl reads the Beehive and suddenly feels really stupid.
Liar, liar mini skirt on fire.
Posted by: Travis Sheridan at October 9, 2008 10:39 AM
I can't decide what I hate more- people talking on their phone for everyone to hear, or people talking on the phone while ordering something or otherwise dealing with a customer service representative of any sorts.
Since I'm trying to be the nicer, kinder, gentler McRed these days, I can't say what I'd do if I saw this person... maybe I'll take just it out on Ms.Joey... watch out, grrl!!
Posted by: McRed at October 10, 2008 1:15 PM
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