I don't know if you heard this bizarre rumor yesterday, but blogger/wannabe celeb Perez Hilton is claiming that he had a five-minute makeout session with John Mayer. Yes, that John Mayer.

At first, I dismissed this as a figment of Hilton's imagination, or a stupid "Pop Fiction" stunt - especially since Perez claimed that Mayer's girlfriend at the time, Jessica Simpson, was both present and, um, a participant in the goings on (believe me, you don't want to know). Mayer's publicist, of course, has denied, denied, denied.

Today, however, Perez took a "Moment of Truth"-style lie detector test to prove that he was truth-telling. Apparently, he was. As much as I loathe and try not to acknowledge Perez Hilton, this cannot be ignored. It is far too bizarre and disgusting.

John Mayer likes to make out with guys? Mazel tov. But making out with Perez Hilton? He's better off kissing the sticky, used floor of a movie theater. Still, Perez fits John's type: big boobs, low intelligence. It sort of makes sense.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go shoot myself in the head in an effort to get these images out of my brain.