I have to be nice to John Mayer this week. Till tomorrow, anyway.

As some of you may know, Mr. Mayer is gracing Fresno with his presence tomorrow night at the SaveMart Center. And maybe 2 or 3 of you know that I, in the past, have been a little less than kind to John Mayer - someone whose music, I must be honest, I actually enjoy.

Oh, that's right. I am a John Mayer fan. Deal with it.

Still, I was not planning to go to the concert tomorrow night, mostly because I've seen him perform twice in the past (good shows, both), but partly because I am sick to death of him because of the Jessica Simpson thing. It shouldn't matter, but it does.

However. I now find myself with a front row ticket to tomorrow's concert, thanks to a friend who had a spare and who - as fate would have it - has the same initials as John Mayer.

So tomorrow night I find myself mere feet away from a man I have teased mercilessly for the last 6 months. I don't pretend for a moment that John Mayer would give a rat's ass about me and my spiteful words, but still. It sure is easier to make fun of someone when they don't exist to you as a human being, isn't it?

Anyway, crisis of conscience and all that - I will not be making fun of John Mayer this week. I won't even mention that People is reporting he and J. Simps are dunzo.

Instead, I shall turn the focus on my second favorite target - myself, natch - and show you that I can take it, as well as dish it out.

Did you see Mike Oz's John Mayer article in the paper today? He sought out opinions about what JM's new hairstyle should be, and he included a lovely paperdoll replica of a bald Mayer complete with hairstyles to choose from: the Edward Scissorhands, the Billy Idol, John Mayer's old, terrible hair.

So, someone at my work who has too much time on his hands, and whose name I'm not going to publish but whose photo I damn well will

cut out a picture with my face on it, trimmed off my hair and solicited our co-workers' opinions on which hairstyle I should rock. As you can see, the Edward Scissorhands is winning. Also, I look dreadful with Pedro's hair.

I'm perfectly okay with people having a laugh at my expense. Well, I was after I made my co-worker trim down my big old Keira Knightley jaw. And I'm sure I'll feel even more okay with it after I send this blog post to his boss tomorrow morning.

So, John Mayer, if you are reading this, take the week off - I'm taking one for the team. Enjoy your show in Fresno tomorrow night and please, please don't spit on me. Please.