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Oscar predictions you won’t see elsewhere

SETH MACFARLANEThere are always a lot of predictions floating around at Oscar time. Everyone always thinks they have some super insight that will allow they to clearly see which films will be honored and which will be ignored.

Those kind of predictions are too common. The following are predictions that you won’t see anywhere else when the awards are handed out Sunday night.

I predict ….

… Quvenzhané Wallis will have her named pronounced at least three different ways including Quiznos.

… Seth MacFarlane will say — or do — something so outlandish it will overshadow the rest of his hosting work. It will probably have something to do with a pound of butter, three roses and a young German woman named Helga.

… the tribute to Bond will overlook the suggestive names given to Bond women. Rumors are the name of the main female Bond character in the next 007 movie will be Ima Estelle Zera. Ima E.Z. will be played by Kim Kardashian.

… there will be more Oscar winners who thank their agents than thank God.

… Billy Crystal will appear on stage to chastise MacFarlane for stealing his bit of singing about the nominated movies. The only movie MacFarlane won’t sing about is “Les Miserables.”

… at least one winner will ramble on about the shortage of cheese in Iceland or the need to stop fat globule warming until they are played off the stage.

… winners of the Best Animated Feature will be the least animated.

… it will take MacFarlane less than 30 seconds to mention either “Ted’ or “Family Guy” during his opening monologue.

… the show will not end at 8:30 p.m.

… if “Lincoln” wins several Oscars, MacFarlane will joke that this trip to the theater is going much better than the last one for Lincoln.

… at least two presenters will squint like a mole in the sunlight trying to read the teleprompter because their vanity wouldn’t let them wear their glasses.

… most of these predictions are probably wrong.

Responses to "Oscar predictions you won’t see elsewhere"

blake says:

However one pronounces that young lady’s name, I hope her, and the film she was in walks away with a pile of statues. (I just saw it last night, and ..wow!) The other film that blew my mind recently…(but I’m not sure if it’s up for anything, nor whether it was released this year or last) is “Searching for Sugarman”.

Bethany Clough says:

I would put money on not ending at 8:30 and the Lincoln trip to the theater joke.

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