Why I don’t follow you on Twitter
“I follow you on Twitter. You don’t follow me though.”
How many times has someone said this, or something similar, to you lately? It feels like I hear this at least once a week, and it’s almost as guilt-inducing as hearing my grandmother tell me I never visit.
I have 400 followers on Twitter. And I follow maybe 70 or so. One look at the lopsidedness of the numbers proves that, no, I am not returning the favor of following those who follow me. So the question is: is this fair? I’ve thought often about this, and I think I’ve finally come up with the answer that works for me: No. And I don’t care.
The rules of social media can be tricky. While I do want to practice good Twitter etiquette (I don’t retweet anyone with a private account, I give credit to those whose links I retweet, etc.), I draw the line at following someone simply because they follow me. It’s like that thing where you have to invite someone to your wedding because they invited you to theirs, even though you’re only distantly acquainted. Pretty soon you end up with 300 people, most of whom you don’t know, eating salmon and doing the chicken dance on what’s supposed to be your special day.
I’m not saying following someone on Twitter is special, but it can be meaningful, or at least purposeful. What it comes down to is this: I follow those whose thoughts serve a purpose in my life — specifically, they offer me either entertainment, education, or something else that makes my day more interesting. And I hope that anyone who follows me is doing so for the same reason.
The thing about Twitter is that it’s like any other form of entertainment — it gives you the power to create the world you want to be in (temporarily, of course). If you need a break from what’s going on around you, you can focus on a world of your creation featuring just those people and things that make you happy. The best part is, you can change and adjust that world as you see fit, following and unfollowing at will.
Of course, there will always be hurt feelings. Not following someone who follows you is a type of rejection, in a way, and no one likes to be rejected. I guess you can either spend your time worrying about who isn’t following you, or you can spend it enjoying the words and ideas of the people and institutions you have chosen to follow.
Twitter is one more of those things adding noise to our increasingly cacophonous world. By keeping tight control of who I follow, I keep the noise out, or at least, control it as best I can. My recommendation to anyone on Twitter is to do the same — even if that means unfollowing acquaintances or people hovering near your circle of friends who don’t enrich your life in a purposeful way.
You can start with me, if you like. I can take it.
Responses to "Why I don’t follow you on Twitter"
And this my friends, is why I DO NOT TWEET, at all. I can’t handle the pressure. And really, I don’t need, or want, to know what you are doign 12/7.
Great article. I’m pretty picky on who I follow, but I do get bent when I’m not on the guest list. I do feel like women Tweeters are a bit more selective. We have enough noise in our lives, like Heather says. It’s all about people wanting to smell what you’re cooking. Twitter can be a humbling experience, but it doesn’t have to turn into high school.
I thought Twitter was all about the person with the most followers WINS!! With that premise it doesn’t surprise me people want those they follow to follow them back. A competition of sorts. At least that’s what I thought was going on, but of course, I don’t tweet, have a twitter, and don’t care to. Just sayin’
Very well said Heather. Twitter is a form of entertainment… and many other things, depending on who you follow! You suggest to your readers to keep out the noise and while that has become increasingly important in our world of tweets, pings, blips,text, etc. I prefer to filter it instead. Like many, I am curious about a great many things. When someone follows me I look at a few key things. Do they have a picture that looks real? Do they have a background other than the default twitter background? Do they have a bio? Do they have a link to a website in their bio? and does it take me to a blog or a spammy sales site? I also take a look at there most recent tweets. Do they engage others or just broadcast? If I feel comfortable about them being ‘real’ and possibly of interest to me I will do them the courtesy of returning the follow (at least for the moment). This is where using twitters now native function of ‘list’ comes in handy (previously only tools like tweetdeck offered this). ‘List’ allows me to broaden my horizons by filtering out the noise instead of blocking it; So I have now followed @xyz, I immediately place him/her in a (private to me) twitter list I call ‘check out’. I do this so I can occasionally check out their tweets to see if they are of real interest to me. If they are I move them out of that list into a new list that better suits what they tweet about (gadgets, apple, Fresno, real estate, etc). If they aren’t of real interest to me I simply unfollow them at that time. Whether or not they unfollow me at any point I could care less about. If I am not providing some value to them then why would they follow me? I’m certainly not following them ‘just because’. One of the great things about twitter is that each user can make it their own. p.s. I love the ‘enrich your life in a purposeful way’ < – that’s what life is all about right
Cheers!
My, what a pretty navel I have!
I still fail to see the inherent value behind Twitter. There are very few people in the world whom I respect of value so much that I want to read their every random thought. We already have Facebook users who think the “status update” is a platform for philosophical debate.
twitter is a strange, vindictive world that i’ve had a few surprising arguments about, one on this very topic. stay strong and only follow those you want.
one way to get heather to follow you? masquerade as a Disney account.
that’s what i do.
Value is in the eye of the beholder. I follow many institutions — Monterey Bay Aquarium or National Geographic, for example — because I want to be alerted to specific information on their web sites. This is what I mean by creating your own Twitter world. It’s not for everyone, sure. But I’m trying to make it work for me.
I just want to know why you aren’t one of my Facebook friends?
Every few months, this discussion seems to come up with someone. I think it all depends on how you wish to utilize Twitter. When I first joined, I was looking for people in other cities with whom I shared similar interests because I couldn’t relate to very many people in Fresno. I found a place in a few online communities by meeting so many new people. In turn, I discovered a new world altogether that existed locally, which was a pleasant surprise. I have a few friends who live by the same rules you do, so I try to help them avoid people who wouldn’t entertain or enrich their lives.
For whatever it’s worth, this is a narrow and in some cases outdated view. Yes, there are plenty of people who merely post the randomness of their day. And there are others who broadcast as Jason said above. They’re a group or a person who is promoting something whether it’s the Beehive, Creative Fresno, Pub Quiz, a business, or a political candidate, or a favorite actor.
Like Heather says, you can build different worlds with Twitter and not all of them have to be modeled after the personal diarrhea of someone like Kanye West (when he was briefly unleashed) or John Maher.
Also, James, is there a reason why you think FB should have philosophical debate restricted?
I’ve already started writing a post titled “I’m not on Facebook … deal with it.”
Twitter guilt #breh.
I believe the same about my facebook. It’s MINE…if you don’t enrich my life, you’re not on my facebook.
I don’t accept people just because we happened to go to school together ( um… we weren’t friends then) or they happen to know someone I do.
Even worse if someone routinely posts things I find offensive, I drop them.
In the real world we have to deal with all kinds of stresses… why in the world would we, willingly, bring them home.
I used to facebook but it made my wife go crazy. She doesn’t like when I interact with people other than her. So I close my account and she creates one and is on that thing every single second of the day. Makes me sick to my stomach. Sadly facebook made me happy cuz I was actually able to keep in touch with people I was cut off from due to my wife. Then it got take away just like my reality. It sucked. Still not over it. FML
See? Facebook tears people apart.