UPDATE: Guess who else wants to be part of the braless club now? Answer after the jump.
Original post 6/18: I don’t like what I’m seeing lately on gossip sites. Actually, I rarely like what I see on gossip sites, but today I’m specifically referring to women, in public, sans undergarments.
This isn’t a reference to the Panty Drought of 2007. I’m talking about the women who recently have been hanging out, pun intended, without their bras. It’s obviously a quick way to garner attention, and preferable to wearing a giant sandwich board reading “Hey, looky here: I’m SEXY,” but it’s already gotten old.
Heather Graham began the trend, going braless and wearing a clingy dress at last week’s London premiere of “The Hangover.” She of course got tons of attention for it, which Heather Graham sort of needs, so okay. Understood. Forgiven. Whatever.
But you know who doesn’t need to use her nipples to get attention? Megan Fox, who pulled the same move at the German premiere for “Transformers 2″ days later:
Look, I know what many of you are thinking: where’s the bad here, right? Heather Graham has nice, fake boobs; Megan Fox has nice, fake boobs: no harm, no foul. Well, let me present the foul:
Yes, that’s mother-of-two, Britney Spears, not on a red carpet wearing a fancy dress, but leaving a London McDonald’s wearing a clingy turtleneck and no brassiere. And lest you think this was an isolated incident, here she is the next day, leaving a London store:
Seeing how far this trend has devolved in the span of a week, can you imagine how little time before it makes its way to, say, Fashion Fair Mall? Let’s be real: most women are not walking around with bolted-on Heather Graham boobs. They’ve got the real kind: floppy, low-hanging, prone to swinging around at the slightest movement.
Remember that scene in “Reality Bites” where Winona Ryder is wearing the doily dress and no bra? Every time she moved, it looked like two wombats fighting to free themselves from a gym sock.
Better yet, remember when Meg Ryan was recently caught unawares by the paparazzi?
Strap those things in, ladies. For the love of all that’s good and holy in this sad, sad world, ignore this celebrity trend, this one time, and strap those things in.