I just saw the following commercial on TV. It's an ad for special cake pans that, when used together, make what appears to be a colossal cupcake:

Now, I don't know anything about anything, but isn't the point of cupcakes to have a self-contained cake that fits neatly into your hand; one that comes with its own little skirt to emphasize the fact that it's its own independent treat?

Why would you want a cupcake that is, as advertised, 25 times bigger? That's just a regular cake, if you ask me: one that requires cutting, a plate, a utensil for eating...

I know I'm taking this way too personally, but I officially hate the giant cupcake. It's false fun, and I'm insulted by such a blatant attempt to take advantage of my innocent affection for cupcakes.

Damn you, world. Is nothing sacred?