UPDATE: We've been moded. Ed Stewart chomped the competition and won the Megazone challenge. Not only that, but he already blogged about it.

ORIGINAL: If you don't read the blogs, you might not have heard yet about the Megazone challenge happening at 5 p.m. tomorrow at Milano.

The Megazone (pictured) is a calzone, just mega-sized by Milano to more than two pounds.

Competing to see who can down one the quickest: Famous Whitewater, The Fresnan, Ed Stewart and Ms. Joey aka Lola La Chola.

The smack talk has started up and we at The Beehive feel the need to officially endorse a candidate in this battle. Ed Stewart is saying he "will not lose," but we think he said that about Blogger Olympics last year too. Blogger Olympics also showed that The Fresnan can show up and do well, or he could also suck. So we're not betting on him.

Famous is our family, and he's the littlest in the competition, which has us thinking he has a good chance to be the darkhorse. But, in the end, we're going with the person we believe is the toughest, and that's ex-Smog City Roller Grrl Lola La Chola.

Mark your calendar for the next bout from the gals of NoTown Roller Derby. It's May 30 at the Fresno Fairgrounds. It appears that if you don't go, Uncle Sam(antha) is going to give you a smack down.

It's all the local news and stuff from the blogosphere that you need to Fres-Know.

THE TOWER IS A PLACE FOR TOURISTS: The Tower District (and Fresno) got a two-page spread in the current Sunset Magazine. They shouted the Tower out as a cool daytrip and called it a "hip indie 'hood brimming with vintage flavor." And no where did it say "scary," so take that, rest of the city. [The Fresnan]

SUCK IT, LONG BEACH: Fresno is now officially the fifth biggest city in the state, topping Long Beach. Now we need a beach and a Roscoe's Chicken & Waffles. [Fresno Bee]

AIN'T FRESNO GREAT? If we may continue drooling over our city, we'll point you toward a new survey from the Fresno City & County Convention & Visitors Bureau asking people "What's so special about the Fresno area?" You should fill it out. [Fresno Famous]

PODCAST PIÑATA: The View Looks Good From Here, Fresno podcast turned 1 recently. What do you get a podcast for its birthday? We suggest a piñata. We like alliteration. I'm sure they'd be happy if you just listened though. [TVLGFHF]

IT AIN'T ALL RAINBOWS: A recent trainwreck of a local show has Conlan at FMB ranting about Fresno's music scene. It's a good read. [FresnoMagBlog]

UPDATE: We got a couple of winners. Congrats to ben galvan and David. Here's an upcoming giveaway to look forward to -- M. Ward tickets one day next week.

ORIGINAL: Once again, The Beehive has is hooking you up with some free ticket goodness. This time, we've got passes for this weekend's Fresno Tattoo Expo (check out the video by The Bee's John Walker) -- running Saturday and Sunday at the Fresno Convention Center.

More than 100 tattoo artists will be there. We're talking local, regional, national and international. They'll be inking people, selling their art and more. The expo also includes live music, custom cars and a beauty contest. Tickets cost $20 each. More info here.

We'll give a pair of tickets to FIRST commenter and the EIGHTH commenter. No multiple entries are allowed. We won't publish comments until we have the winner. Rules (and the festival flier) are on the jump.

The Beehive has your back. So if you're worried whether you may have contracted the Swine Flu, we recommend you consult doihavepigflu.com. If you're one of those people who always wants a second opinion, then try doihaveswineflu.org.

Oink, oink!

Anybody tune to 105.5 FM lately? Notice something odd? The station -- formerly set to play smooth jazz -- has gone to all Christmas music. In April, that's more Bright Christmas than White Christmas.

A press release from the station has a headline that screams "Christmas Music Around the Clock, 24/7, 365 Days a Year on 105.5FM!!" But Rick Bentley writes in his column today that it's all a gimmick and that we should expect a format change from the station on Friday.

On-air teasers are asking, "Are you ready for the truth?" Which fits with a rumor that it's going to a talk radio station. Another talk radio station in Fresno? Well, well, well ... I can barely contain my excitement.

PREVIOUSLY: Nooooooooooo! It's too early for Christmas music ...

Laurie West's days at Alice 96.7 are over. The longtime morning show host was not on the air this morning and she has been removed from the station's Web site. Numerous sources are telling me that she was laid off on Tuesday.

West was the most popular female voice in Fresno radio, if you believe Fresno Magazine's Best of Fresno poll. It appears that Alice 96.7, owned by Clear Channel, also parted ways with evening host Adriana and West's producer/co-host Nigel as well. You can read more in Rick Bentley's column tomorrow.

With Y101 moving more toward Alice 96.7's demo with some recent format changes, I wonder if we're going to hear something new from 96.7 soon. Hmmmm.

Fresno DJs shall be humpin' it up (can we say that?) at Audie's Olympic tonight, including our pal DJ Bradley. So go dance it up with him and his crew. He's also got a party Saturday night at Palomino's that I'm mentioning because I think the flier is fresh.

So I was listening to Paul Swearengin on my way into work this morning and caught the end of the First Dude of Fresno reliving his station's Springtini event from two weekends ago. He said Springtini -- and its cousin Falltini -- were the biggest annual parties in Fresno. On that, First Dude, I call shenanigans.

Swearengin mentioned Sudz in the City, but said he wasn't sure if that was still going on anymore. OK, so maybe downtown events aren't the talk of the dinner table at home. But, yeah, Sudz in the City is still going on -- the 15th annual is May 23 -- and it generally brings out about 4,000. Springtini, from what I heard, drew about 3,000.

Let's go a step further -- the Cinco De Mayo festival on the Fulton Mall (pictured) brings out more people than 25 Springtinis. Headcount was over 100K last year, according to the Downtown Association. FYI: This year's runs Friday-Sunday.

Numbers aside, I figured there's at least a good question in here: What's your favorite annual Fresno party?

[photo: German Amezcua / Univision]

This evening, there are a couple cool events tugging at creative-minded Fresnans who are looking for something to do.

At Starline, there's the Devoya Mayo-organized Poetry in Motion II. It's no secret we're fans of Devoya events, and this one is no different. There's spoken word, live music and more with Arkansas poet Joshua and Armen Nalbandian's all-star band.

Move over, Enzyte ... Pos-T-Vac has firmly grabbed the top spot for awkward penis commercials. Have you seen this? I promise it's worth the two minutes of your life:

Let's ponder the following:
- Guy laying underneath woman on the tire swing and turning her around. Hmmmm.
- "Gentle suction."
- Ringing endorsements from Guy Who Looks Like Stephen King, Guy Who Has Tried Everything and If You Have a Brain in Your Head Guy.
- Company president who shares a name with a local blogger.
- Putting a vacuum near your junk.

Fresno bloggers gathered Saturday for the second annual Blogger Olympics. Proving that nerdiness is second only to blogginess, they competed in such daunting athletic competitions as miniature golf, skee ball, air hockey, arcade basketball and Wii bowling.

After putting around Blackbeard's and dueling with plastic paddles at Victory Grill, one blogger was left standing as Fresno's Blogger Olympian supreme. Watch this video to find out who. (Or, if you wanna do things the old-fashioned way, read below for all the results).

Apparently ol' plastic-faced Melissa Rivers believes that "Fresno" is a synonym for useless -- as evident in this clip from last night's "Celebrity Apprentice." Rivers, ultimately, was eliminated on last night's show, proving that (1) Nepotism only gets you so far and (2) It never pays to bad mouth Fresno.

Thanks to Andrew Toschi for the head's up, because hell no, I don't watch Celebrity Apprentice.

While your Fresno bloggers duke it out for nerd supremacy ...

1. BUY LOCAL: Buy people's junk, buy their treasures, buy coffee, buy pizza, buy a local band's CD. You can do all that at the Yoshi Now! Spring Flea Market on Saturday and be proud that you buy local.

This bucket-hat wearing, gibberish-singing guy:

Discuss.

PREVIOUSLY: The Dave Matthews Band is finalllllly coming to Fresno

UPDATE: On the News Blog, Bethany Clough updates that Public House is, in fact, open again. It just didn't happen yesterday.

ORIGINAL: If you missed the news over the weekend, The Public House -- one of the final dominoes still standing over at Granite Park -- has closed its door temporarily.

The official word is that Public House is closed for "renovations" and that new investors are making "changes to adapt to the weakened economy." The place is supposed to open back up on Thursday.

Maybe it's just me and all the Cabo Wabo drama I had to endure, but I'm immediately skeptical about anything at Granite Park. And wouldn't you know, a commenter at fresnobee.com says the real reason PH's doors are shut is because the power got shut off. Hmmmm.

Now's the fun part: Let's hear your predictions. Will Public House ever open again? If so, will it be this week?

When I decided one random Friday back in February 2007 to post a bunch of show fliers on The Beehive, I never thought it would last. In the post, I even said I wasn't sure if it was a good idea or if anybody would care.

This marks installment No. 100 of Post No Bills, and I still ask myself that same questions sometimes. It doesn't get the most comments or the most contributions. But for me, it's a labor of love. I set out a while back to dispel the idea that "There's nothing to do in Fresno." So this is my weekly contribution.

Sure, some of the trashy club fliers aren't the most flattering portraits of our city. But I like to think the Costco-sized helping of fliers in Post No Bills each week shows, if nothing else, that there are plenty of things to do in our fair city.

With that, I hope you enjoy Post No Bills #100 ...

If you're like me, every so often you think, "Hmmmm. Remember when there was a big deal about The Chuk hosting concerts? I haven't seen one in a while."

Well, get ready. Bob Dylan announced dates for his annual summer tour of minor league baseball stadiums and Fresno is on the list. Plus: He's bringing along Willie Nelson and John "Don't Call Him Cougar" Mellencamp.

The show will be Aug. 14. Tickets cost $67.50 and seating is general admission. Children 14 and under are admitted free with each adult ticket holder. According to Dylan's Web site, tickets are set to go on sale May 30. There's a pre-sale set to start on May 25.

Local ska group Suppressors -- a favorite on the Fresno blogs -- have unveiled their first music video, "Small Time Hustler." Shout-out to Milano for getting some prominent play.

Yesterday Tweet-hating H-Mac showed me a hilarious Web site called Things You Should Not Twitter. It's pretty much what you'd guess: People Tweeting about sex, porn and drugs. I thought to myself how, for the most part, my Twitter feed doesn't give me TMI.

Then this morning, I saw this:

Thanks, Timmy T, thanks a bunch. I'll let you have One More Try, but if this happens again, I'm blockin' yer ass.

Dig Fugazi? Then you'll be happy to hear that the band's bass player Joe Lally is in Fresno this evening, playing a solo show at Tokyo Garden.

A little rock stardom has brought out an impressive bill of locals as well -- The Fay Wrays, Brother Luke, Niilo Smeds and Visalian Ted Nunes.

Ohhh, plus Special Guest is going to be there and he/she/they always rock.

Clearly what we're missing here at The Beehive (besides Will and Felicia, we miss you guys!) is a guess-where-that-photo-is feature. I will wholeheartedly admit this is not an original idea. The Fresnan does it. The Dumb does it. Various other blogs probably do it. And now we will too. If you want to cry about that, click here.

Now down to business -- we've often been fond of the bathroom here at The Beehive. We really just can't help it. So we're starting our photo-guessing shenanigans with "Can You Name That Bathroom?" I'll give you this warning, the photo below is NSFW and derogatory toward women. We don't endorse this at all, would-be angry commenters. We're just as appalled as you that this is an actual bathroom in Fresno.

We're totally jealous that Famous went to Coachella. If you're like us, though, you can at least find some solace in knowing that one Coachella act is in Visalia tonight.

Brooklyn band The Vivian Girls -- their sound is like a '60s girl group partying with a garage punk band -- plays at 9:30 p.m. at Howie & Son's. Rolling Stone loves them and so might you. Tickets cost $5. L.A.'s Abe Vigoda and Visalia's Drag the Lake open.

According to Google, that's the proper Arabic translation. Why should we care? Because Al Jazeerah cares about us. Al Jazeerah English was recently in town filming a story about The Fresno Pool Skating Phenomenon™. Here it is:

Watch for my upcoming Friday column, in which I talk more about The Fresno Pool Skating Phenomenon™, including a rundown of a documentary that's being filmed about TFPSP

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- Fresno pool skaters continue to make a splash
- Fresno: The pool-skating capital of the world?

If you're like me, you took one look at this new Zac Efron movie "17 Again" -- which opened at No. 1 over the weekend -- and instantly thought back to the late '80s. Back then age-swapping comedy of this sort were the hotness.

There was the Kirk Cameron-starring "Like Father Like Son" and the Fred Savage vehicle "Vice Versa." There was also "Big," a different kind of age-swapper, where Tom Hanks/Some Kid Actor went from child to adult. I never saw it, but another was also "18 Again!," which starred George Burns and Charlie Schlatter.

Where do your loyalties rest? With Mike Seaver or Kevin Arnold? Or are you all about Zoltar and giant pianos?

I'm enamored with this Cleveland "tourism" video I found yesterday. Both H-Mac and I had the same reaction: "We should make one for Fresno." But we're neither musically nor videoally inclined. (I'm still trying to figure out if I can make a Swede).

Warning: Language NSFW

But I know we got some film geeks in this town. If you make it, I'll post it. If you want to not make it, but instead laugh at Cleveland ... I'm OK with that.

Normally, I'd argue with anyone who calls downtown Fresno "dirty" -- but for this Friday I will totally allow it. Why? Well, one of the "Rock of Love," ummm, ladies is coming to host a party at 2039. Who wants to party with Bret Michaels' sloppy seconds?

The people putting on this event are the same people who brought that Domenico dude to town a couple weeks back. Yes, this guy. Thanks, Grown & Sexy, for bringing us all these "celebrities." Fresno is a better place for it.

Sidenote: Remember when we all thought 2039 was going to be this cool new place? And now it's the place where reality TV rejects come to get wasted and countdown those 15 minutes of fame. Also it's the spot for show-your-nipples Wednesdays (OK, maybe that's just what I call it).

If you're a fan of 80s baseball players, old-school baseball video games or white rappers, then you'll love this. It's a dude named Jack Cracker from Wisconsin rapping over the theme song from R.B.I. Baseball. Warning: Language NSFW.

Many thanks to ex-Bee reporter Jeff Passan -- who fits all three categories above -- and his Yahoo Sports posse for finding this and sending it over.

Here's a look back at the weekend. Did you do anything good? Spill it in the comments.

FRIDAY
- The third installment of my Vintage Fridays series was pretty awesome. Thanks to all who came out -- numerous bloggers, an elected official, all kinds of cool Fresno people and the random oldish guy in the top hat killing it on the dance floor. Next one is May 15. Mark your calendars.

SATURDAY
- Did you know "Prison Break" is back on? I wouldn't have known, if my DVR hadn't picked it up. Fox stuck it on Friday nights. I know there are only a couple episodes left ... but I feel like this is a diss. This final season has been pretty good.

- That night I hit Royce Hall at Fresno High for the Strings, Wood and Lightning concert with Patrick Contreras and Lance Canales. Trey Tosh was supposed to the third artist on the bill, but he had to cancel. The Rudy Parris Band filled in and, actually, turned out to be the highlight of the night.

Artists are planning special releases. Mayors are writing bad-ass proclamations. Cool videos are making the rounds. It's ...

Just a reminder of a few of the record stores left in our area:

FRESNO

• Spinners: 639 E Olive Ave., (559) 441-1525
• Rasputin: 5611 N Blackstone Ave., (559) 435-4371

VISALIA

• Velouria Records, 225 E Main St., (559) 625-8000

And break out the shorts, it's gonna get hot!

1. WELCOME KAT JONES HOME: The wonderful Kat Jones is back in Fresno, playing tonight at Kuppajoe. She's off in Nashville trying to be a star nowadays, but we still remember her fondly. Sleepover Disaster and others are playing with her. Should be a good show.

Apparently, NKOTB's bad boy liked his Fresno grub last night:

PREVIOUSLY: Did They Just Say Fresno? NKOTB edition

Welcome to another week of Post No Bills, the biggest collection of Fresno event fliers and posters anywhere on the Internets, brought to exclusively by FresnoBeehive.com.

Concerts, clubs, community events -- it's all right here. Lots of fliers await you below, so give your browser a second to process it all, then dive in and find something to do. Our flier assortment reaches well into the summer, so get your calendar and start planning

As always, we welcome contributions from bands, artists, venues, promoters and regular joes. Send flier links to mosegueda@fresnobee.com.

It's all the local news and stuff from the blogosphere that you need to Fres-Know.

FAR OUT, FRESNO: We already feed the world, now our area might be powering it too. PG & E made a deal to buy energy from outer space and beam it down to Fresno. We predict Fresno will now hella be ahead of the curve on alien-human relations because of this. [MSNBC]

IN YOUR FACE: Be proud, teabaggers. Fresno was featured on The Huffington Post's blog post about 10 Most Offensive Tea Party Signs. We didn't make the list, but we got our photo gallery. [The Huffington Post] (UPDATE: A tweaked this a bit after a reader brought to my attention that we didn't actually make the Top 10)

TWITTER WAR! Taking a cue from the Ashton Kutcher/Larry King battle, KMPH has thrown down the Twitter challenge to other local stations. I heard it was stated on the air that they didn't want it with @mikeoz or @fresnobeehive. Good idea. [KMPH Twitter]

IF YOU BUILD IT ...: ArcHop is blowin' up. It launched its own official Web site ... and then used it to announce there's gonna be an ArcHop park. Woah! I guess that trumps our plans to have an actual Beehive somewhere in Fresno. Sigh. [ArcHop]

We know you guys love free movie tickets, so we got some more for you. This time it won't be a commenting competition, but more of a ticket hunt.

We had a handful of tickets to an advance screening of Disney Nature's "Earth." (Narrated by Darth Vader himself, James Earl Jones!)

It's happening at 7 p.m. Monday at Edwards Fresno Stadium 21. The movie officially opens on April 24.

We've scattered the tickets at four local businesses. If you want 'em, you gotta go get 'em. Here's where they're at:

• Milano: 1243 Fulton Mall, (559) 497-5066
• The Laundry Room: 7835 N Palm Ave., Suite 103, (559) 434-0943
• Sunnyside Deli: 5691 E Kings Canyon Rd., (559) 252-3338
• Heavens: 1050 Shaw Ave. (inside Sierra Vista Mall in Clovis), (559) 299-5545

Each location has about 15 passes. Passes are good for two people. So get 'em while you can. Might I suggest calling each location for current hours and to see if they still have passes left. Happy movie-going!

Was Jordan still dreamy? Joey still adorable? Donny still bad? Jon and Danny still ... umm ... Jon and Danny? You saw them, Fresno, now tell us what you thought about New Kids on the Block?

Was Thursday night's concert everything you hoped for? Let's hear your reviews. Can the New Kids still sing and dance? Did they do all your favorite songs? Anybody get to touch them? Give us your take on all that and more in the comments.

If you hate Kate and the New Kids -- fear not, there is some other stuff to do in the Fresno area tonight. For your Thursday night consideration:

HOCKEY: No, not ice hockey -- the band Hockey is a Portland soul/electro/indie outfit that's making a stop in Visalia tonight. I like what I'm hearing from this band, and maybe you will too. They're playing at The Cellar Door at 9:30 p.m. Cover is $5.

Boy bands come and go, but loyalties to them are hard to break.

Look at New Kids on the Block -- they're back after 20 years and the young girls who used to lust after them are now grown women, still lusting after them. In honor of NKOTB's Fresno show tonight, we ask you a life-defining questions: Who's your favorite boy band?

Vote in the poll below and drop your opinions in the comments -- especially if you picked "other."

Kate Gosselin -- the wicked witch of "Jon & Kate Plus 8" -- is in Fresno today for a stop on her book tour.

Kate will be at Border's at River Park at 7 p.m. to sign copies of her book, "Eight Little Faces: A Mom's Journey." She drew about 400 people in L.A. the other day.

Since we're all in a protest mood around here lately, I have half a mind to lead an anti-Kate march over at River Park tonight. That woman is evil.

If you've watched the show, you know. She's mean and bossy and controlling and her hair looks like a mixture between a Chia Pet and a spaceship.

She reminds me of that mean elementary school teacher you really hated as a kid. She treats poor Jon like he's kid No. 9. How he puts up with that, I don't know. But I praise him for not drinking himself to a stupor every night.

So who's got a good slogan for my protest sign?

PREVIOUSLY: Jon minus Kate, sharing 8?

The man behind this legendary diatribe proves his pinpoint wit knows no boundaries. You can ignore the first 50 seconds, but watch the last five seconds over and over again.

Props to kevikev on the find

Looks like Donnie Wahlberg is excited about performing in Fresno tomorrow night.

RELATED: Read more about Fresno's undying love for the New Kids.

Parents, get ready to open your wallets again. You already coughed up dough so your kids can see the Jonas Brothers when they come to Fresno in August, now another Disney product is on her way.

And she's bringing an "American Idol" second-placer with her.

Singer/actress Demi Lovato has announced a summer tour with "Idol" alum David Archuleta. Dates on Lovato's MySpace indicate a July 10 stop at the Save Mart Center. The arena, this morning, did not confirm the date.

Lovato, you might remember, played The Big Fresno Fair last year -- much like the Jonas crew did the previous year. Now they're headlining Save Mart Center this summer -- and so is she. It's like she's following them.

And, David Archuleta, well ... I'm sure he's just happy to be on a tour.

As you probably know by now, people from Fresno and the greater central San Joaquin Valley are gathering today for the Central Valley Tea Party, a protest about over-taxation by sore losers.

For you tax-paying working stiffs who can't make it over to the Save Mart Center to party with the Glenn Beck mafia KMJ, we at The Beehive have decided to throw our own Tea Party. Like the in-person event, ours is also dedicated to giving a voice to the right people.

So, teabaggers Beehive readers, we ask that you make yourselves heard in The Beehive's Totally Tubular Tea Party. We've outlined below what we believe to be the most important issues facing us in these troubling times and encourage you to sound off.

Remember that story about local skaters emptying the pools of foreclosed homes and turning them into makeshift skateparks? Well, here's a more visual example that also includes women in bikinis. Let's not have this happen again, OK?

I've heard grumblings of more Fresno pool skating videos/news reports in the works. Hmmm. We'll have to see if they materialize and if Fresno continues to strive for the title of Pool Skating Capital of the World™.

Man, I wish I could. Daytime baseball in downtown Fresno. Maybe some pizza and beer at Milano before and after. Sounds like a great day -- even with the wind.

Unfortch, I have a job and deadlines and stuff. But judging from the chatter on Twitter, it looks some people are headed out there today. The Grizz are even offering a "business person special" today that includes ballpark grub for lunch. Bring your business card and for $9 you get a ticket to the game and a $5 food voucher. The game starts at 12:05 ... so you have about an hour to come down with a "cold."

And just because, here's the Drag Kings doing their "Single Ladies" on opening night:

FYI: The first Thirsty Thursdays of the season is this Thursday.

Did you see the story in The Bee yesterday about more than 1,800 people showing up to apply for 400 seasonal jobs at Wild Water Adventures?

Even Slim Jims are having trouble. I saw this yesterday at a gas station in Los Banos. The price of Slim Jims have risen 20% -- from 25 cents each to 30 cents each. And they don't even got Macho Man on the payroll anymore. Times are tough indeed.

We admit, we're late jumping on the blogging bandwagon with these video teasers for the upcoming fifth annual Fresno Film Festival.

Fresno Filmworks started the 12-part series last week. It will finish up just in time for Friday's opening night of the festival. From there, the Tower Theatre will host seven feature films and 16 shorts over three days.

You can get more info on the festival here and enjoy the first nine Filmworks shorts below:

I made mention of reggae/rock band Clouded Vision's new music video the other day. If you missed the viewing party for it, here's the video. It has an "Office Space" sort of appeal to it.

It's another fresh production from Punit Dhesi, who has previously directed videos for Fashawn and Chuck Dimes. If you dig Clouded Vision, you can see them this weekend at Starline:

It's time for the Worst Flier of the Week title to change hands once again as The Beehive honors the worst in local club flier designs.

There were some very worthy fliers out there. This week I skipped over the animated .gifs and the bunny, to bring you our Worst Flier of the Week and a very confusing runner up.

You already know about the Grizz and the Bartender Challenge, right? Here's some other good stuff:

1. FEEL THE SOUL: If you like soul music -- and we're talking real soul music, like Earth, Wind & Fire -- then head over to Thai Palms on Saturday night for Soular Power. If you're wondering if making a silly flier of me gets you on "Five Things" ... it just might.

Welcome to another week of Post No Bills, the biggest collection of Fresno event fliers and posters anywhere on the Internets, brought to exclusively by FresnoBeehive.com.

Concerts, clubs, community events -- it's all right here. Lots of fliers await you below, so give your browser a second to process it all, then dive in and find something to do. Our flier assortment reaches well into the summer, so get your calendar and start planning

As always, we welcome contributions from bands, artists, venues, promoters and regular joes. Send flier links to mosegueda@fresnobee.com.

Grizzlies baseball is back! I went to Thursday's game with the Portland Beavers with camera in hand, ready to document the sights of opening night (Fresno lost 6-1, btw).

Here's what I saw -- it's not exactly a Society Page, it's more like a mix of funny stuff, cool people and opening night scenes.

Creative Fresno is back with another Bartender Challenge this weekend. But things are changin' up a bit thanks to some rock 'n' roll attitude. It's ska vs. punk, as Suppressors go up against It'll Grow Back for your tips Saturday night at Zapp's Park.

Afterward, The Fay Wrays and Rademacher will join both bands in performing. Pretty sweet flier too, don't ya think?

Four worthwhile things you should consider for some Thursday night entertainment if baseball ain't your thing:

1. The Fresno Filmmaker Alliance is having its monthly mixer tonight. Go meet some like-minded film folks. And don't forget to work on your swedes, yo!

Five more local Starbucks are closing -- so says our friend Bethany Clough on fresnobee.com. The locations are:

• Bullard and West avenues in Fresno
• Figarden Drive and Bullard Avenue in Fresno
• Shaw and Armstrong avenues in Clovis
• Noble Avenue and Farmersville Boulevard in Farmersville
• Mooney and Prosperity in Tulare

As you might expect, this is the most-read story on fresnobee.com, proving once again the almost-unbreakable bond that people have with Starbucks.

I'm not going to launch into an anti-Starbucks rant again. But I am curious to see how this plays out -- whether we'll see another campaign to "Save Our Starbucks" campaign, or whether people are now more immune to businesses shutting down. Will this open up opportunities for some new local coffee shops? We'll see.

Of course you know by now that the Fresno Grizzlies kick off their season tonight in fitting fashion against our rival city, stupid ol' Portland. Are you gonna be out at The Chuk?

As you might have noticed we Beehivers are in a baseball mood today -- look at our nametags above.

If you're counting the hours until heading to the ballpark, here are a few things to click on to help pass the time:

• Who's on the team this year? Here's the roster. And here's a look at some of the familiar faces back in Fresno this year.
• A few things to watch for tonight: The Drag Kings will be performing at some point. There will be post-game fireworks. And the first 12,500 fans get a souvenir rally card.
• Here's a video interview with Kevin Frandsen, who many expected to be with the Giants this year. He should be one of the team's stars as long as he's in Fresno.
• The Mayor is throwing out the first pitch tonight. She's even Tweetin' about it.
• Do you got your fitted cap yet? I do. If you still need to get fitted up, here's a funny video that will most definitely help convince you.

South Park slayed 'Ye last night. It was a pretty hilarious episode in which Jimmy and Cartman came up with "the funniest joke ever." Short version: "Do you like fish sticks? Then you must be a gay fish." Kanye, of course, doesn't get it and thinks that everybody is calling him gay. Carlos Mencia gets involved along the way and South Park gives it to him good too. My favorite part was Kanye's crew:

If you think they look a little absurd ... well yeah, but it's also pretty right on:

*We use that phrase very loosely

The gentlemen of ClubFlys don't get enough credit for the work they do. More specifically: You never hear ClubFlys getting props for the unintentional comedy it documents while wading through our sometimes woeful nightclub scene.

We at The Beehive are going to change that. We are going to salute the prolific photographers of ClubFlys for not just the all-too-skimpy shots they gives us, but also the trainwrecks they capture at precisely the right moment.

If you're not familiar with ClubFlys' work, most of it looks like this:

But if you look hard enough, you'll find shots like the ones we've collected below the first volume of what we hope is an occasional series: The Very Best Of ClubFlys.

Hard to believe, isn't it? I don't have anything super profound to say, but I liked this story from SeattlePI.com about Cobain's legacy 15 years later.

Looking back, it was certainly an event that sent ripples through my high school when it happened. I wasn't the biggest Nirvana fan -- but I knew it was one of the events (and Nirvana was one of those bands) that would define my generation of teenagers. As I've gotten older, though, I've come to enjoy Nirvana's music a lot more. Here's one of my favorites:

Local Nirvana fans take note: Nevermind, which is basically the biggest Nirvana tribute band, is playing at Crossroads next Thursday. The band is doing an April tour in honor of Cobain's death and is actually playing today in his hometown of Aberdeen, Wash.

If you've got Kurt Cobain memories you'd like to share, do so in the comments.

"Major League" might just be my favorite movie of all time. I don't think I will ever get tired of it. I like it so much I don't even change it when it's on basic cable and all the curse words are sloppily edited out. I like it so much I've even seen all the sequels -- even the one with Scott Bakula.

It seems only fitting that today -- as baseball is just starting up again -- marks the 20-year anniversary of the movie being released. So I'd like to give a shout out to all the great characters of "Major League:" Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn, Willie Mays Hayes, Jake Taylor, Joe Boo, Pedro Cerrano, Roger Dorn and the irreplaceable Harry Doyle. I shall sacrifice a live chicken in your honor tonight.

Seeing as how The Grizz kick off their season in just two days, here's an especially timely installment of "The Guys Who Like To Eat." Their appetites take them to Hero's, the newish sports lounge near The Chuk.

... because I'm starting to think dude just flat-out fell off as a rapper. Have you heard his new single? "We Made You" debuted on MTV this morning and already has the Internet going nuts. (Warning: Kinda NSFW)

Em is back to his celeb-skewing ways. The video is funny, I'll give him that. But the song is trash. He needs to stop with all the stupid voices and accents and just be the venomous and vicious lyricist he used to be. He always drops quasi-comical singles like this, so I'm not giving up all hope for "Relapse," but it's look more and more bleak by the leak.

R.I.P? FresnoFusion.com -- once the "living blueprint of downtown" -- appears to have gone the way of Gottschalks. Does this mean downtown is dead? [the site formerly known as Fresno Fusion]

LOSE ONE, GAIN ONE: Fresno Magazine has jumped aboard the blog train with Fresno Mag Blog. Despite the sorta-awkward name and Fresno's Mag sorta-lame track record, someone over there was smart enough to grab Conlan from This is Conlan to steer the ship. Today he asks, "What's your favorite thing about Fresno?" [Fresno Mag Blog]

MID-SIZED MOJO: Famous goes to the Crest Theatre for some metal and leaves optimistic. Can the Crest be the mid-sized venue we need? [Fresno Famous]

BETTER WITH BACON: Visalia sh*t-talker Oliver Wrist gives us a cooking demo -- bacon/cheddar waffle with eggs over easy. This proves, once again, that every blog is better with bacon. [Nickel Plated Bama]

Rock band KISS announced a cool tour gimmick today -- fans are going to route the band's upcoming U.S. tour through votes at www.eventful.com/kiss. So if you want KISS to come to Fresno, you have to vote.

According to a press release from the band's people:

No matter where the fans say--from stadiums to cornfields--if there are enough votes, KISS will be there! And in order to keep the competition fair for smaller cities, final site selection will weigh population size versus total votes.

Voting started at Noon today, with a video announcement at kissonline.com. So how 'bout we all band together and vote for KISS to play at the big empty lot in front of Cabo Wabo?

You could argue that today is the biggest sports day of the year -- adding together baseball's opening day and tonight's NCAA basketball championship game. If you're looking for a local spot to see the action, you can now count Red Zone Sports Grill among your options.

Red Zone -- home of the Defibrillator burger -- opened last week at Champlain and Shepherd, where Rumba Latin Fusion used to be. You can read more about Red Zone in a recent column from our girl Joan Obra. I stopped in there the other day to see what the place looked like and thought I'd share a few pics.

I don't know everything. I know where to find hideous fliers, sure -- but car movies are not my specialty at all. Yet I've been quite curious about this "Fast & Furious" movie that opened today. So I sought help earlier this week from a Fresno blogger, one Brodiemash, whom I knew could answer my questions. (p.s. Donald has a pretty funny review on the movie in The Bee).

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 1

Dear Brodiemash...
As a man who likes both movies and speedy cars, I'm hoping you can help me with something. I'm dumbfounded by this upcoming "Fast & Furious" movie. Is it a sequel? Prequel? Spin-off? Remake? Start over for the franchise?

I've never seen any of these movies and I won't see this one, but I'm curious. To me, it's sort of like putting out a movie called "Back Future" after the first three "Back to the Future" movies.

Please advise.

Yours,
Mike Oz

We haven't had a Worst Flier of the Week in three Fridays. How have you lived without it?

Well, here's the place to let out all of that end-of-the-week attitude. I'm giving you TWO fliers this week -- one that sucked really bad for an event that already passed, and another sucks really bad for an event that's coming up.

Bad fliers shouldn't suffer a lack of attention just because I'm not here ...