What's going on for Halloween in Fresno? Well, a whole bunch of stuff.

Rather than sticking these in Post No Bills (which has plenty of non-Halloween stuff to do), I decided to break out all of the Halloween events into their own post. It's an easy place to see tonight's various happenings. So whether you're looking for a concert, a nightclub party or even a little bit of theater, it's all below.

If you've already got Halloween plans, then just play along and tell us which fliers you like and don't like.

Welcome to another week of Post No Bills -- a weekly look at what's going on in Fresno brought to you exclusively by FresnoBeehive.com.

This week I pulled all of the Halloween fliers out into their own post. After that, it's the same Post No Bills -- lots of fliers for clubs, concerts and various other events around Fresno and around the Valley. So sit back, give your browser a minute to load and take a look at various happenings.

As always, we welcome contributions bands, artists, venues, promoters and regular joes. Send flier links to mosegueda@fresnobee.com.

How do your pop-culture leanings match up with the would-be mayors of Fresno? We're curious -- so I'm throwing the same questions your way that I put in front of our mayoral candidates earlier this week.

(Note: If you can't or don't want to listen to the interviews, you can read many of their answers in my column today)

All 30 questions are below. Just copy them, paste them into the comments section and add your answers. I'll offer up mine in the comments too.

Chances are you've heard Fresno's candidates for mayor -- Henry T. Perea and Ashley Swearengin -- debate the issues and each other this election season. They've sparred on TV, for The Bee and at a bunch of other places.

Feeling a little left out, we at The Beehive decided to stage our own mayoral match-up -- but, of course, our grilling of the candidates was unlike the rest. We sat down this week with the would-be mayors for separate 30-question pop-culture quizzes.

Our quiz has four parts:
1. Get-to-know-you pop culture questions, like "What was the first concert you went to?"
2. Either/Or options, like "Star Wars or Lord of the Rings?"
3. Fresnocentric fodder, like "What's your favorite Fresno taco spot?"
4. Five questions of Hella Easy Trivia, which includes "Who won the last season of 'American Idol?' "

None of this will probably change who you vote for Tuesday, but it might help you get to know our next mayor a little better. You can listen to both interviews below, in MP3 format.

HENRY T. PEREA - Mayoral Pop Culture Quiz || ASHLEY SWEARENGIN - Mayoral Pop Culture Quiz

One-of-a-kind Cabbage Patch Kids of John McCain, Sarah Palin, Barack Obama and Joe Biden are being auctioned off on eBay, with all the money going to Toys for Tots.

After a day's worth of bidding, here's the current prices:
Sarah Palin - $2,425.00
John McCain - $1,025.00
Barack Obama - $801.00
Joe Biden - $600.00

What's really important, though, is what these things look like. Right? Pics, arranged from most horrible to most awesome, are after the break ...

The seventh installment of the Fresno Grizzlies' "I Hate The Offseason" webisode series might be a little too in-the-loop for some of us, but here it is. Parker finds his Halloween costume, loses his hero in the Grizzlies front office ... and then it turns into a wedding reception slideshow.

Previously: Vol. 1 | Vol. 2 | Vol. 3 | Vol. 4 | Vol. 5 | Vol. 6

And for the second week in a row, I'm going to show you my dog in a Halloween costume. Here he is, reppin' The Beehive.

As we get closer to election day, the Internets keep bringing us more politics-as-pop-culture offerings. For this post, we look at what the kids are doing. Sure, they don't have a vote, but that doesn't mean they can't have a voice ... on YouTube.

Example #1: These Atlanta school children taking T.I.'s hit "Whatever You Like" and making it "You Can Vote However You Like." You lose, Weird Al.

Example #2: These kids being used as pawns in a Yes-On-Prop-8 video. If there's a proposition to take away YouTube rights from off-key singing children, lemme know and I'll endorse it.

After the Philadelphia Phillies won the World Series last night (Sorry, Will!), it got me thinking about the City of Brotherly Love. Despite all the talk about how a Philly team hasn't won anything in a while, I came up with 10 pretty awesome things that Philly has given us. Check it out and add on:

10. DJ Jazzy Jeff & The Fresh Prince
"Back in Philly we be out in the park / A place called the plateau is where everybody goes / Guys out hunting and girls doing likewise/ Honking at the honey in front of you with the light eyes." I don't care if it's 'bout to start rainin', you're watching the "Summertime" video.

Because this and this didn't fulfill Fresno's odd news quota of the day, we now have this:

Man arrested after gun discharges on local campus
A 60-year-old college student was arrested today after a gun he was carrying in his backpack accidently discharged on the Willow International Campus community college. The shot hit "a very thick calculus book," a college spokesman said. There were no injuries.

The handgun discharged when the man dropped the backpack inside the tutorial center.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- Note to self: It's not a good idea to rob taco shop with a screwdriver

Dunno if you guys saw this story in the paper today, or on FresnoBee.com, but here's a great addition to the wacky Fresno crime files. It's not quite the sausage story, but it's still pretty crazy:

Robber dies after stabbing himself with screwdriver
A man armed with a screwdriver who robbed an Alberto's restaurant early Tuesday morning died when his get-away bike crashed and he accidentally stabbed himself with the hold-up weapon, Fresno police reported.

The screwdriver severed an artery in his thigh, and he was found in his own blood. Police said he was taken to Community Regional Medical Center at 3:45 a.m. and pronounced dead there. However, the Fresno County Coroner's Office would not confirm the man's death Tuesday afternoon.

Police spokesman Jeff Cardinale said the man held up the restaurant on the east side of Cedar Avenue, near Dakota Avenue, and demanded money. He left with an undisclosed amount, but was found bleeding heavily by his crashed bicycle near Cedar and Farrin avenues.

Officers concluded that his screwdriver had apparently stabbed him in the thigh during his fall.

Gas for 2.59?!? I was thrilled when I saw $2.89 the other day, but I spotted this over at Ashlan and Cedar, on the way to Cabo Wabo yesterday.

Between more manageable gas prices and all the Sammy Hagar drama finally out of the way ... life is good today.

FYI: You can find a sampling of area gas prices at fresnobee.com/gasprices.

Note: The final update to this post is below. Read to the bottom for photos, videos and notes from throughout Tuesday. Consider it your Sammy-Hagar-plays-Fresno-Wabo time capsule.

Wednesday morning update: Sammy Hagar is nothing, if not a showman. It's the carefree attitude of his that draws in those loyal Redheads and that was surely on display Tuesday night at Cabo Wabo.

Sammy hit the stage at about 8:30 p.m. and finished up after 10:30 p.m. He played his own hits ("I Can't Drive 55"), some Van Halen stuff ("Why Can't This Be Love") and covered both Toby Keith ("I Love This Bar.") and The Beastie Boys ("Fight For Your Right To Party," his closing number).

In the middle of it all, he strutted around the stage, high-fiving audience members, doing tequila shots with people in the crowd and bantering about finally playing Fresno Wabo.

Here are some more pics:

You've followed the blog posts for months, read all the news yesterday and now, Sammy Hagar fan, your beloved Red Rocker's long-awaited Fresno Cabo Wabo stop is in the books. So tell us what you thought.

Did it live up to all the hype? Was it worth the wait? Did you dig the set list? Sammy's energy? How did it compare to other Sammy concerts? Did he give Fresno what it finally deserved?

UPDATE: Congrats to our second winner -- John.

SECOND CHANCE: Who's going to join our first winner Denise at Cabo Wabo tonight? First commenter wins our second and final wristband to see Sammy Hagar tonight.

You must be able to meet me at Cabo Wabo this evening. A winner will be notified by e-mail and then announced on the site.

Because Sammy won't talk to us, but he will talk to 95.7 The Fox ... here's some stuff we learned during Hagar's radio interview about a half hour ago:

THE SHOW: "You gotta get in line." Hagar said wristbands will be given out starting at 10 a.m., which conflicts with the 8 a.m. time that I was told earlier today. Fresno Wabo owner Milt Barbis, reached after the interview, said wristbands would be given out sometime after 8 a.m. So either way, it's probably good to be there early.

SCHEDULING: "I'm flying in tomorrow, playing the show and flying out. Hopefully it's going to be most fun that Fresno's ever had." Later in the interview: I'd love to come on a Saturday night, but the only day I have is Tuesday."

LISTENING: Hagar promised the pre-show will be a listening party for his new album, "Cosmic Universal Fashion," due on Nov. 18.

INTEREST IN FRESNO WABO: "I don't own this Cabo Wabo. I own the name and the right to make sure it's up to standards." Hagar said if it's not up to standards his fans should let him know and he'll "come down and smack people around."

EXCITEMENT: "I'm excited about finally coming to Fresno and playing the Fresno Wabo. Finally. Finally. Finally." Later on in the interview: "I've heard it's great. I came down four or five times when it was being built."

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- Raise your hand if you'll be at Cabo Wabo at 8 a.m. tomorrow
- Sammy, Sammy, Sammy ... what have you done now?

The day is almost upon us. Yes, Sammy Hagar will FINALLY be performing at Cabo Wabo Fresno tomorrow. Reports from head honcho Milt Barbis have Sammy's crew already in Fresno setting up for the show.

Remember, it's a free show and it's all first-come, first-serve, with lining up starting at 8 a.m. But Barbis revealed a new detail this afternoon: They will be handing out wristbands to the first 400 people. What this means is that once you've gotten a wristband, you can leave, then come back later -- if you got stuff to do like, ummmm, work.

If you want a full day of Wabo partying, that's cool too. Barbis says the cantina will open at 10 a.m. so you can get Waboritas and Cabo grub. A DJ will be playing music all day.

Another local coffee shop, another downtown business, another instance of having to say goodbye to something cool and authentic and local. Café Corazón, the Fulton Mall coffee shop will be closing its doors on Friday.

Co-owner Leo Rios broke the news in a post on Fresno Famous last Friday. He said:

There is no one to blame or point fingers at. The slow economy and crushing electric bills over the summer broke the strings I was using to hold the coffee house together.

During this time we have gotten to know and love our community even more. We really want to help bring this city up, just bad timing I guess. I wrote a letter to the city at one point, asking for aide or assistance. They had nothing to offer.

If you don't like burlesque, scary stuff or High School Musical ...

1. Hang with some filmmakers. Last week, we told you to support the Fresno music community. And you did. This week, how about loving the local film community a little? Need more info? Famous has lots.

Welcome to another week of Post No Bills -- a weekly look at what's going on in Fresno brought to you exclusively by FresnoBeehive.com.

Post No Bills is the largest collection of Fresno concert, club and event fliers anywhere on the Web. It's also proof that anybody who says there's nothing to do in Fresno is either crazy or lazy. Sit back, give your browser a minute to load and take a look at various happenings.

This week: Check out our ever-growing section for Halloween events.

As always, we welcome contributions bands, artists, venues, promoters and regular joes. Send flier links to mosegueda@fresnobee.com.

Skip the "Halloween" DVD, because Tony Moran, who played masked murderer Michael Myers in the 1978 film, will be in Clovis this weekend at Fright Night Scream Park.

Here's more, from the press release:

And does the Soulja Boy dance in the process -- all in the sixth episode of "I Hate the Offseason," the Fresno Grizzlies webisode series.

Previously: Vol. 1 | Vol. 2 | Vol. 3 | Vol. 4 | Vol. 5

From last night's SNL special: Dubya weighs in on "the hot lady" vs. "the Tiger Woods guy."

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- Tina Fey and Sarah Palin cross paths; Earth not sucked into a black hole
- At this point, I say we just start calling her Sarah Feylin

Have you seen this new Shroom & Swiss ad campaign that Burger King has all over the TV? It's like Simon & Garfunkel meets Flight of the Conchords meets hella stupid.

Seriously, somebody ate some magic shrooms before coming up with this, right?

I knew that when I wrote about same-sex marriage in my column last Friday, that it meant the my inbox was going to get slammed. And it did. But not in the way I figured.

Between e-mails, phone calls and comments on the column itself, reaction was overwhelmingly in my favor. The e-mail account was 20 pro and five con. Here are some examples of each;

Most e-mails were like these:

From Renee:
I just wanted to thank you for writing what I was thinking.

I have been happily married to my husband for almost 20 years and I see no reason why anyone would want to deny someone else happiness. Who are we to say what should make a person happy.

Thank you for speaking up for love and happiness....

UPDATE: After talking to Cabo Wabo bossman Milt Barbis, details behind the show reduction still aren't clear. Barbis said he found out from an e-mail Wednesday afternoon. "I don't know what he's doing," Barbis said.

ORIGINAL POST: Were you thinking that things were a little too smooth leading up to the Sammy Hagar's two-night stint at Cabo Wabo next Tuesday and Wednesday? That this Sammy appearance didn't have the is-he-coming or is-he-not-coming drama of the last few months?

Well yesterday afternoon, Sammy threw a screwdriver right in the middle of things, with this blog post:

Come see Sammy and the Wabos, ONE NIGHT ONLY!! Tuesday October 28th at the Fresno Cabo Wabo Cantina! Doors open at 5:30pm and entrance into the show will be on a first come first serve basis!! It'll be lots of fun and you'll be hearing new stuff from the New album!

One night only, Sam? Last time you said: "October 28th and 29th the Wabos and I will be performing 2 FREE shows at the Fresno Cabo Wabo." And just on Tuesday, Fresno Wabo developer Milt Barbis said all that was still in place.

I've got a call out to Barbis as I write this. Just waiting for a call back. I'll update when I can. Something tells me this is going to be a manic week.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- Everything you need to know to see Sammy Hagar

One word: FINALLY! I plan to watch this trailer every day just to see Jack Bauer crackin' a fool's neck with his legs.

We know times are tough and your wallet might be a little thinner than it used to be. Which is why we thought you needed to know that you, Joe and Jane The Plumber America, have a free taco and a free Dr. Pepper coming your way.

Taco Bell ran a "Steal a Base, Steal a Taco" promotion during last night's World Series Game 1, which said if there was a stolen base, then everybody gets a free taco. Jason Bartlett of the Tampa Bay Rays did and we do, whether you watch baseball or not. Free tacos will be available 2-6 p.m. next Tuesday at Taco Bells. Here's more info from Marketwatch.

Dr. Pepper, meanwhile, is making good on an offer from earlier this year that said if Guns N' Roses' long-awaited "Chinese Democracy" actually comes out this year, then everyone in America will get a free Dr. Pepper. Yesterday brought us the album's first single, a release date and a chance at pre-orders, so Dr. Pepper said everyone can get a coupon for a drink from drpepper.com on Nov. 23. Here's more info from Marketwatch.

And as Donald said earlier today, be on the lookout for more giveaways here at The Beehive.

Remember when we told you that "Ghost Hunters" was filming at Wolfe Manor in Clovis? Well, word comes today from proprietor Todd Wolfe that the "Ghost Hunters" episode will air on Nov. 19.

Lest you think he's lying, here's the SciFi Network's on-air schedule that verifies as much.

Since it's almost Halloween and since Wolfe Manor will probably get slammed after "Ghost Hunters" airs -- if you've been meaning to scheduled a paranormal tour over there, now would be a good time. You can call (559) 394-7778.

You can also check out "Haunted Wolfe Manor Live," their own weekly Web paranormal investigation show. It airs each Sunday at 7 p.m.

For years, Guns N Roses' "Chinese Democracy" has been one of those I'll-believe-it-when-I-see-it type of albums. Well, start believin'.

Today the first single -- title track "Chinese Democracy" -- landed at radio and on the Web. Plus pre-orders started at Best Buy, which will be exclusively selling the album in stores and online Nov. 23.

You can hear all 4:41 of "Chinese Democracy," with Axl Rose's trademark wailing and a rippin' guitar solo, at KRZR's Web site. You just have to put up with a few "music on demand" liners. Or you can go gunsnroses.com.

What do you think? Worth the wait? Or years too late?

We're officially one week away from Sammy Hagar's two-night stint at Cabo Wabo -- something we've been anticipating for nearly two years.

I spoke with Cabo Wabo head honcho Milt Barbis this afternoon to get an idea of what people trying to see Sammy should expect. First off, the shows are still free. Everything is first-come, first-serve basis and camping out overnight will not be allowed. For each show, 400 people will be admitted.

Here's a timeline that might be helpful:

- 8 a.m. - Lines can start forming
- 3 p.m. - The patio will open to people in line.
- 5 p.m. - Doors will open for the show
- 9:30 p.m. - Sammy takes the stage

In addition to the 400 people allowed inside, Barbis says more people will be able to listen (but not see) from the Cabo Wabo patio. And it should be loud enough that you can hear from other parts of the Granite Park area, if you're that desperate.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- You can't ever be happy can you, Fresno?

Watch this at your own risk. It might give you nightmares. With no further warnings, I give you: La Pequeña Sarah Palin.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- Tina Fey and Sarah Palin cross paths; Earth not sucked into a black hole
- The Sarah Palin bumper sticker: Straight talk or ironic?

Terry Tate, everyone's favorite office linebacker, has returned from hiatus and he's brought his pain train into the political arena. See for yourself:

Here's what happened when Terry met Sarah Palin:

Not even a week after Warnors Theatre announced its big New Year's Eve event with B.B. King, the Save Mart Center has announced a NYE headliner of its own: Neil Diamond.

You can read more on FresnoBee.com, but here's the skinny: Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. Oct. 27 and cost $39.50, $49.50, $76.75 and $126.75.

Looks like NYE '08 is shaping up to be a good one. It'll be interesting to see what the casinos offer up.

Note: 'You Should Be Listening To ...' is a new Beehive feature where I plan to tell you what to listen to. It's something I already do to my friends and co-workers, now I'm turning iPod dictator here as well.

Never heard of folk singer Ray LaMontagne? Well, you should have. He's a critically acclaimed but not-so-mainstream gravely voiced singer/songwriter from Maine. Yep, Maine. And, before music, he used to work in a shoe factory. You gotta love this guy, right?

His new album, "Gossip in the Grain," was released last week, is quite solid and includes a song I dig very, very, very much called "You Are the Best Thing." It's a bit more brassy than LaMontagne's usual stuff, but I ain't complainin'.

"Gossip in the Grain" is LaMontagne's third album with RCA, following "Trouble" and "Till the Sun Turns Black." Some choice cuts from those projects include "Trouble" and "Three More Days."

Enjoy!

Just DVR SNL so you can fast-forward through all the dumb stuff ...

1. Go to FUSE. I will not relent, Fresno. The FUSE Festival is the best thing happening this weekend: 20+ bands, multiple venues, downtown. All that's missing is you.

Welcome to another week of Post No Bills -- a weekly look at what's going on in Fresno brought to you exclusively by FresnoBeehive.com.

Post No Bills is the largest collection of Fresno concert, club and event fliers anywhere on the Web. It's also proof that anybody who says there's nothing to do in Fresno is either crazy or lazy. Sit back, give your browser a minute to load and take a look at various happenings. FYI: This week, I added a section for Halloween events, so check that out.

As always, we welcome contributions bands, artists, venues, promoters and regular joes. Send flier links to mosegueda@fresnobee.com.

Ice Cube, once the hardest rapper out and now an actor whose post-1995 résumé we'd rather not talk about, will perform at the Crest Theatre on Dec. 19.

Tickets cost $35 and go on sale Saturday at timgardeapresents.com. Physical tickets can be copped at Valentino's and Stuffed Pipe starting Thursday. There are limited VIP tickets for $50. I'm gonna go listen to "No Vaseline" now.

We've talked before on The Beehive about the inaugural Fresno Urban Sound Experience, of FUSE Fest, but the time for talking is done. This big, all-local, all-downtown music festival is happening Saturday with many of your favorite Fresno bands playing.

Here are some links to get you ready ...

• My FUSE preview was in today's issue of 7. It's what I'm calling the FUSE FAQ -- it'll answer many of your FUSE questions, like how the festival got started, how the schedule and ticketing works and why you should care.
• Over at Fresno Famous, Famous Whitewater (who was part of the FUSE committee) has a behind-the-scenes take on the festival. It's a great read and I highly recommend it.
• Dug up and dusted off from The Beehive archives, here's a post from July 2007 where I lament Visalia and Modesto having cool music festivals while Fresno didn't. Didn't, that's the key word there.
• Go to fusefest.com if you want to get even more info on the festival.
• Oh, and check me out this morning on KYNO (1300 AM), on Mayor Alan Autry's talk show. I'll be talking about things going on in town this weekend and plan to devote much of it to FUSE. I should be on around 10:15 a.m.

Here's hoping the people of Fresno aren't afraid to try something new, aren't afraid to spend a day downtown and really throw their support behind this festival and these local musicians.

As documented in this week's edition of "I Hate the Offseason," the Fresno Grizzlies webisode series. Dunno about you, but I'd let Parker cut my hair and walk my dog.

Previously: Vol. 1 | Vol. 2 | Vol. 3 | Vol. 4

There was a time when I would have argued vehemently with anyone that Eminem was the best rapper doing it. His flow was insane, his rhyme patterns (NSFW) were impressive and he found ways to still rap well and become of the biggest stars in music.

Then his shtick regressed into making fart noises, doing fake voices and trying to do gangster stuff (too much time hangin' with 50, I always thought). At one point earlier this year, Eminem got brought up and I was like "Oh yeah, I remember that guy." His disappearing act was as epic as his flow used to be.

The big news in all the hip-hop circles today is that Em dropped a new two-minute freestyle last night, intended to pique our interest for his comeback album, "Relapse." Shades of the old Slim Shady are there -- but he's rapping in some weird voice for part of it. It's good and I'm happy to hear something close to the Eminem I dug, but I just can't help but wonder if his time has passed.

The song is below. Tell us what you think. It's Eminem, so it goes without saying that the language is hella NSFW.

Whether you're into election reform or Nirvana, here's an event you might want to mark on your calendar. Krist Novoselic, the bass player from Nirvana, will be speaking at Fresno State's Satellite Student Union on Oct. 23.

His lecture is titled "Blueprint for a 21st Century Democracy." Unlike Bret Michaels and those other old rockers with reality shows, Novoselic's second-life has focused a lot on politics. He's the chair of FairVote. He wrote a book titled, "Of Grunge and Government: Let's Fix This Broken Democracy." And he's involved politically in his home state of Washington.

Only one question -- what do you like more: Nirvana and politics or Conor Oberst?

Followers of the Rogue Festival know the name Barry Smith as one of the festival's show-stealers of recent years. His one-man shows "Jesus in Montana" and "American Squatter" were both festival hits.

Whether you missed him at the Rogue, or you're just a big fan -- rejoice!

Smith is back in Fresno this weekend as part of his current tour. He'll be doing "American Squatter" at 8 p.m. Saturday at Full Circle Brewing Co.

Check out our review of American Squatter from the Rogue Festival and hit the jump for a video of Smith talking about the show:

It's not too early to start thinking about New Year's Eve and Warnors Theatre is coming out of the gates with a big event: B.B. King live in concert. Patrick Contreras has scored the opening spot.

Tickets go on sale Oct. 24. Here are some more details:

Event: New Years with B,B. King, December 31, 2008 at 9:00 PM

Where: Warnors Theater at Fulton and Tuolumne Streets in downtown Fresno

Tickets: $105, $80, $60 and $50 available online at www.warnors.com, by telephone at 559-264-2848 and at the Warnors Center box office Tuesday through Friday from 10 to 4 and two hours before performance times. Special Dinner and Dancing Package for Two, $375. Details at the Box Office 559-264-2848.

Is there anyone more annoyingly unfunny than Frank Caliendo? I'm curious, because Caliendo is going into year two of topping my rankings.

Dane Cook is a close No. 2, but I have to go with Caliendo just for the amount of advertising I see for his "Frank TV" on TBS, which somehow was renewed for a second season that begins next week.

I get it, Frank, you do impressions. I get it, TBS, you have a show of Frank doing impressions. Do you guys really need to advertise every time there's a commercial break on your station? Do you really need to put the ads all over my MySpace page. Can this stop now?

Caliendo's equally annoying in his interviews. Case in point: This Q & A with our own Rick Bentley.

I bring all this up because Caliendo is performing tonight at Tachi Palace in Lemoore. I'm guessing some people from around here will be going to the show. For those people I have only one question: Why?

I'm just madder than heck about this weekend's "Civil War Revisited" event at Kearney Park.

An event like this has no place in our parks, where our children can see such violence. People trotting around with guns, influencing kids to carry guns, gunning around with guns, showing them it's more important to kill thy enemy (with guns) than love thy enemy. It's deplorable. There's already too much violence in our society -- and violence, no matter if it's for sport, history or eliminating the entire cast of "The Hills" -- is WRONG.

I was in the homeland last weekend and I saw this commercial for a guy who's running for city council there. He thinks emulating a dog treat ad is the way to get elected. For the sheer ridiculousness of it, I had to share ...

Indie band Portugal. The Man was in town on Tuesday night for a show at The Exit. If you checked out my interview with frontman John Baldwin Gourley, you'd know that while it take its name from a European country, the band is actually from Wasilla, Alaska (a.k.a. Sarah Palin-ville). When I talked to Gourley, the band was in Netherlands.

I bring up all this geography because, according to Portugal. The Man's Twitter feed, of all of the places they've been, band members found the best burrito ever at Robertito's in Fresno yesterday.

Admittedly, I'm more of a taco man than a burrito man, so I don't know whether these Alaska boys were just easily impressed by one of Fresno's many excellent Mexican food options or if Robertito's burritos really are that good.

So yeah -- best burritos in Fresno, let's hear 'em ...

The indestructible cheerleader gives her take on the P.O.W. in this latest political sketch from Funny Or Die. Warning: Language NSFW

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- Paris Hilton still not funny or dead ...
- Paris Hilton: Responds to McCain ad; seems fit to lead
- I wish politics would keep their opinions out of celebrities.

It bears repeating: Real product, conceived and sold in these United States of America.

Mondays are usually pretty zzzz for shows around Fresno -- but tonight there are two strong touring shows hitting town: Metal band Every Time I Die at The Exit and spazzy indie rockers Jaguar Love at Starline.

See more local show fliers @ Post No Bills.

So I saw this Sarah Palin "Pit bull with lipstick" bumper sticker the other night. And, as I wrote in my column last Friday, Palin is so out there these days that it's hard to tell what's earnest and what's making fun of her.

I've debated with myself about this bumper sticker. It looks like it could be a joke. But it was spotted in Clovis. But it was on a hybrid. But it was a hybrid SUV. Gosh, it could just go either way.

VINDICATION: Ryan Mathews said "Suck it, Beehive" and ran for 57 yards including a 20-yard touchdown in the Bulldogs' 45-32 win over Idaho on Saturday night. Party or not, we wish you a very happy birthday, Ryan. Seriously.

SMASHING: Oh Smash Mouth, once you had the mammoth hit "All Star" and now you're just the band playing a free show at the Fresno State tailgate, hoping people remember you.

LOTTA LOVATO: Disney star Demi Lovato performed at the Big Fresno Fair over the weekend and proved the kids love them some YouTube. At most recent count, there were 86 videos of Lovato's concert on the 'Tube.

DERBY DEMOLITION: The Smog City Roller Grrls ended their season as winners -- you can catch some post-bout blogging at Fresno Famous, The Fresnan and estewartartist.

YOBAMA: estewartartist also brings us photos and videos from the Obama Rocks Fresno concert.

SPEAKING OF: The Bee's editorial board endorsed Obama for president on Sunday, which means the Opinion Talk blog should be especially fun to watch today. Play nice, politicos.

FAIR TIDINGS: Meet the people who are going to clean up all that dirty Bret Michaels is bringing tonight, as the The Big Fresno Fair winds to a close.

If you don't look at Post No Bills each week, you're missing both some outstanding artwork on local event fliers, and some total WTFs. Here's one that was so WTF it deserved its own post. Plus, it's a birthday flier, so now the Ryan Mathews defenders can't think we're only picking on No. 21.

I submit, for you approval or disapproval, perhaps the worst flier ever ...

Welcome to another week of Post No Bills -- a weekly look at what's going on in Fresno brought to you exclusively by FresnoBeehive.com.

Post No Bills is the largest collection of Fresno concert, club and event fliers anywhere on the Web. It's also proof that anybody who says there's nothing to do in Fresno is either crazy or lazy. So sit back, give your browser a minute to load and take a look at various happenings.

As always, we welcome contributions bands, artists, venues, promoters and regular joes. Send flier links to mosegueda@fresnobee.com.

Because we love downtown Fresno, and we love when you show love to downtown Fresno, here's how you can be a total dowtowner on Saturday ...

1. Hit up the Yoshi Now! fall flea market. Yoshi Now! is, without a doubt, one of the most interesting places to shop in Fresno. And when it opens its parking lot for Fresnans to come sell whatever they want, the selection gets even more unpredictable. Add in four local bands performing, and it's a good first stop on your downtown Fresno adventure.

Our favorite bear tries his paw at debating in this week's edition of "I Hate the Offseason," the Fresno Grizzlies webisode series. Among the questions: 2Pac vs. Biggie.

Previously: Vol. 1 | Vol. 2 | Vol. 3 |

From Planet Asia and Mugg's "Pain Language" album. I love the horns and Asia reppin' with the "Fresno Militia" shirt ... though it takes a couple minutes of theatrics to get to that point. Warning: Language NSFW.

[via OnSmash]

You know how the Internet is kind of like that stand-up comedian who is never afraid to "go there." Well, for all you crying over the 600-point fall the Dow just took, this blog went there: Sad Guys on Trading Floors.

Sorry y'all, it was either this, or I was gonna post the Tom Petty "Free Falling" video.

UPDATE: David Boutte, the promoter of the party, got in touch with me last night and told me he's doing a recall on fliers because it's a violation of NCAA rules to use a player's likeness in this way. And we all know the Bulldogs don't need any more trouble, right?

Apparently one of the higher-ups at Fresno State saw this post and was like "On snap! We can't do that." Maybe not in those exact words, but ya know ...

ORIGINAL POST: The various tubs of the Interwebs are telling me that Ryan Mathews, the popular Fresno State running back who has been on the shelf since hurting his knee against UCLA, is having a big ol' My Super Sweet 21 birthday party this Saturday night at Aqua Shi.

Because who better to celebrate your birthday with than a bunch of strangers, fans and sushi eaters, right?

Parody master Weird Al is going all Jim Cramer on us in his latest song -- a little ditty about how he keeps his honeys happy when money is tight (or tizight, as the case may be).

Al boosts T.I.'s "Whatever You Like" -- which was No. 1 on Billboard's Hot 100 for five weeks -- and doesn't even change the song's name. His "Whatever You Like" is a little different than T.I.'s ode to giving girls Patron and stacks of money.

I realize you could care less about what I think of you, since you were probably oblivious that someone else was even behind you in line.

Still, I couldn't help but overhear your phone conversations (maybe sshhhh a little more next time). Much like I couldn't miss that three-inch jean skirt of yours and how you kept twirling your fingers in your hair. But I didn't make up my mind about you until you started with the lies.

You were in ice cream line. Why did you lie and tell whoever was on the phone that you were getting gas? Why did you then say, "he's on the other line, I have to go." But nobody was.

Why, a couple minutes later, tell a different caller you were "on your way," then cover the receiver, order your ice cream, then get back on the phone and say, "I'm waiting at a stop light right before the freeway."

No, you were getting a pint of Chocolate Brownie ice cream. I saw.

It's none of my business, I know. But I can't help but wonder why you can't just tell the truth. What's the purpose of lying so frivolously? If you said "I'm at Rite Aid getting ice cream," what's the worst that could happen? Someone would ask you to bring them some too?

PREVIOUSLY
Dear Person Playing Gospel Music Really Loud at 7 a.m.

Hey y'all, today marks Felicia's one-year anniversary of blogging here at The Beehive. If we could, we'd send her to a ritzy resort for spa treatments. But we're just a lowly ol' Fresno blog with no taxpayer money behind us.

Still, us bloggers pooled our money and were able to get Felicia this YouTube video*.

I'd like to think this product could be considered a blogger's best friend.

*Note: Just the video, not the totally fake product advertised within.

But she's back with a new "presidential" video on Funny or Die. At least she realizes she's fake. That's a start, I suppose.

PREVIOUSLY ON THE BEEHIVE
- Paris Hilton: Responds to McCain ad; seems fit to lead
- I wish politics would keep their opinions out of celebrities.

Fresno emcee Fashawn is steadily makin' moves on the national hip-hop scene. Today comes news that he's featured on a new mixtape by Mick Boogie that accompanies VH1's "Hip Hop Honors," which aired last night.

Titled "The Honor Roll," the mixtape features members of hip-hop's next generation -- Kidz in the Hall, Pacific Division and more -- re-making songs from this year's honorees -- De La Soul, Cypress Hill, Naughty By Nature, Slick Rick and Too Short.

Fashawn's contribution is a take on Too Short's "Life is Too Short."

You can download "The Honor Roll" for free from Mick Boogie's site and Nahright.com.

If you missed Fashawn's latest mixtape, "One Shot One Kill," also with Mick Boogie, that's available for a free download too.

Oh, and if you're wanting to check him out live, Fashawn is one of the 20+ local performers at the Oct. 18 FUSE Festival on the Fulton Mall.

News you should know, echoes from the blogosphere and so on:

PODCAST PROPS: Blogging/podcasting duo Ed and Adam of The View Looks Good From Here, Fresno landed an interview with Henry T. Perea for their newest podcast. It wasn't one of sneak-up interviews like The Fresnan does either. Guys, I'll really give you props if you can land a Sarah Palin interview. [TVLGFHF]

SHOCKING: So let me get this straight, even though it's illegal to talk on your cell phone while driving sans hands-free device, people are still doing it? But, but, but I thought that new law was going to make the roads safe. [The Bee]

MAS SWEDES: Swedes live to show another day, as Fresno Swede Festival The Second has been announced for Nov. 22. [The Dumb]

MAD DUMB: Speaking of the peeps over at The Dumb Drum, it's a big week for them. First off, the site has a dope new look and second they're doing a live videocast this Wednesday with Fresno Film Commissioner Ray Arthur. [The Dumb]

I thought this was the weakest of the Tina Fey-as-Sarah Palin SNL sketches (mostly because it was long and dragged on in places), but it's still better than most anything else SNL is doing these days. And since these have a way of becoming hits on the Internets, here's SNL's take on the vice presidential debate ...