I see what you're doing , Mike. It's pretty genius, too. You want to release a 25th anniversary version of "Thriller," 'cause, hey, it's "Thriller," and if it wasn't for that ever-changing nose, that album would be your most-enduring accomplishment*.
Problem: Most people find you straight-up repulsive these days.
Solution: Give people the music they used to love and subsidize your own repulsiveness with some more straight-up repulsiveness (no Paula Abdul) from today's world of hit music.
So you recruit teenage-girl dry humper and fan-tosser Akon, that guy girl from the Black Eyed Peas with a propensity for on-stage urination and Kanye West, who, much as I like him, a lot people find arrogant and grating. Then the whole lot of you churn out Thriller "remixes" for an album that's coming out in February. You're a smooth criminal, Mike.
Well, ta-da, the Internet's never-ceasing wonder has brought us those remixes two whole months early, including Akon's take on "Wanna Be Startin' Something," Fergie singing "Beat It," Kanye's remix of "Billie Jean" as well as some will.i.am remixes of "The Girl is Mine" and "P.Y.T."
Maybe it's my Kanye man-lust, but I don't hate his "Billie Jean." Those Fergie and Akon joints, though, are hot garbage. Fergie singing "Beat It" is more repulsive than Jacko in jammies. And thus, Mike has won again.
*Sike! "Thriller" > Everything
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