In Sunday's Spotlight section I have a column about the wonderful Matisse sculpture exhibition at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. You can find more images here of some of the works in the exhibition.
For an image of Matisse's famous painting "The Dance," which I write about in the column, click here.
Miss North Coast Melissa Chaty wins the crown.
The other top five are:
Miss Sierra Nevada Cheri Gorin, second
Miss Hollywood Kari Johnson, third
Miss Southwest Calif. Amy Yetasook, fourth
Miss Yosemite Valley Jennifer Lee, fifth
The Top Five finalists are:
Jennifer Lee
Melissa Chaty
Amy Yetasook
Kari Johnson
Cheri Gorin
Patt Munro, the mother of Miss Fresno County Jaime Munro, competed in the Miss Fresno County Pageant in the early 1970s.
She didn't win, but she was voted Miss Congeniality.
Patt Munro is one excited mom with her daughter in tonight's finals.
Ruth Stainer, Miss Los Angeles County, does a technically exacting ballet routine that also excites the audience
Nicole Chiu, Miss Southland, brings an exotic flavor to the competition by playing the guzheng, a traditional Chinese stringed instrument.
Talent competition is over. Intermission time.
Fresno's Jaime Munro kicks off the talent competition with a jazz dance. Her rooting section is very enthusiastic.
Here we go.
Top Ten finalists are named:
1) Jaime Munro, Miss Fresno County
2) Rachel Mock, Miss Culver City
3) Cheri Gorin, Miss Sierra Nevada
I'm blogging live from the finals of the 2007 Miss California Pageant at the Saroyan Theatre in downtown Fresno.
I'll be posting reports throughout the evening on the Top 10 finalists, the Top Five finalists and -- finally -- who wins the crown.
The announcement of the Top 10 should be in a few minutes. I'll be back with that news.
On the final night of preliminary competition:
Melissa Chaty, Miss North Coast, wins the talent competition, singing in French "The Jewel Song" from the opera, "Faust."
Amy Yetasook, Miss Southwest California, wins the evening wear competition.
Lauren Howard's comedy sketch during tonight's talent competition at the Miss California Pageant had the crowd hooting and hollering in appreciation.
Howard, Miss Placentia, impersonated "SNL" character Mary Katherine Gallagher auditioning for "American Idol."
The applause went on so long that emcee Jacquelynne Fontaine, Miss California 2006, had to wait to introduce the next contestant.
Lauren Howard is funny, fresh and contemporary -- and she gets to cut loose tonight at the Miss California Pageant.
The audience should just sit back and enjoy what promises to be a wild ride.
Speaking of rides, Howard plans to make her entrance on the Saroyan Theatre stage pedaling a tricycle.
You know the deal by now. Post No Bills is the biggest collection of Fresno fliers anywhere on the Web.
Each Friday, right here at The Beehive, we give you a look at what's happening in Fresno and the Valley this weekend, next week and into the future.
Nothing to do in Fresno? Ha! Yeah right.
If you have a flier to contribute, e-mail it to me at mosegueda@fresnobee.com. Enjoy!
... to get in line for the iPhone, that is? Well, why not sit back and mock, er, watch people who did play hooky?
Some yahoos are live-streaming from a New York City location.
And while you're in a video-watching mood, check out 
Fresno Bee videographer Joe Hollak's man-on-the-street piece he produced in advance of today's 6 p.m. launch.
*** UPDATE: Fox News reports, you decide whether they're a bunch of idiots.***
Call me foolish. There was a time when I thought that faux celebrities like Paris Hilton or Britney Spears might just go away if only the media would just stop hounding them. Neither has done anything really newsworthy in years, or ever, but they keep making headlines.
I have been doing this job long enough to know that celebrities often put themselves into situations to generate interest by the media. Most of my dealings in that area have been the rather inauspicious interviews to talk about a new TV show or film. But, those are actual reasons to seek publicity.
A recent trip to Santa Monica showed just what extremes a washed up celebrity will go to get some attention.
You already checked out my Q & A with Chi Cheng of Deftones that's in today's edition of 7, right? Well now you can listen to the full audio of our chat right here at The Beehive.
It's all to get you ready for tonight's Deftones show at Rainbow Ballroom with Fall of Troy and Dir en Grey. Details right over here. Enjoy!
Download: Deftones interview (Some language NSFW) // Music: Deftones @ MySpace
Another one bites the dust. Another coffee shop not named Starbucks. Another downtown business. Kern Street Coffee is shutting its doors on Friday. I'm no coffee drinker, but I'll miss Kern Street simply as a meeting place for creative types in Fresno -- a "third space," as it was often called.
When I had a friend from San Francisco stop through Fresno on her way to L.A., and she wanted coffee, where did we go? Kern Street. When people wanted to meet somewhere downtown? Kern Street. A good place to sit, chill and listen to jazz? Kern Street.
Not long ago, owner John Baker was talking about expanding to a second store. But those plans fell apart. Now, the original Kern Street is gone, too. Now we're left with less coffee shop not named Starbucks.
UPDATE: Here's a story from this morning's paper by business reporter Bethany Clough about Kern Street's closing.
The results are in:
Amy Yetasook, Miss Southwest California, wins the talent award in Thursday's preliminary competition. She played a classical number on the cello. Hanford's Mallory Spoelstra was a crowd favorite with with a comedy monologue. Spoelstra goes to San Diego State and is Miss San Diego. Her sister, Michelle, is Miss Kings County in the pageant.
Cheri Gorin, Miss Sierra Nevada, wins the evening wear award in Thursday's preliminary competition. Gorin won a talent award Wednesday night.
Gorin and Yetasook were both in the Top Five at the 2006 Miss California Pageant. Melissa Chaty, Miss North Coast, also was in the Top Five last year. She performs her talent Friday night.
The judges pick a new Miss California on Saturday.
Tonight's talent competition is over. Hanford's Mallory Spoelstra was the crowd favorite. She delivered a comedy monologue about a single woman throwing herself a wedding shower so she could get some cool stuff. Spoelstra attends San Diego State and is Miss San Diego. Let's see if the judges agreed with the crowd. Results will be announced in about 30 minutes. I'll be back with the news.
In an interview with Newsweek, Isaiah Washington claims racism is the reason he was fired.
"Someone heard the booming voice of a black man and got really scared and that was the beginning of the end for me," Washington said.
He goes on: "Well, it didn't help me on the set that I was a black man who wasn't a mush-mouth Negro walking around with his head in his hands all the time. I didn't speak like I'd just left the plantation and that can be a problem for people sometime. ... I had a person in human resources tell me after this thing played out that 'some people' were afraid of me around the studio. I asked her why, because I'm a 6-foot-1, black man with dark skin and who doesn't go around saying 'Yessah, massa sir' and 'No sir, massa' to everyone?''
I'm not going out on a limb here by saying racism is wrong. But from the outside looking in (a luxury a blogger admittedly has), this "firing" doesn't look like an act of racism.
Who was that man in the short black dress and stilettos at the Miss California Pageant on Thursday afternoon?
He was 19-year-old Spencer Ruell of Clovis, a dancer in the pageant's production numbers. He appeared on the Saroyan Theatre stage in the dress and heels as the pageant's 49 contestants rehearsed for Thursday night's show. The women seemed to appreciate Ruell's little joke.
They erupted in laughter and their delighted shouts of "Spencer!" echoed through the theater.
1. Bard attack. It's the opening weekend of "Othello" out at the Woodward Shakespeare Festival. And it isn't 105 degrees! I'm looking forward to this production under the direction of J.J. Cobb, a Fresno State grad who returns to the area after years of experience putting on outdoor theater. New this year: Concessions from Bentley's Market and a new sound system.
You had to be careful wandering around the Saroyan Theatre on Thursday. There were sleeping beauties everywhere.
Contestants snoozed in an out-of-the-way section of the lobby while talent rehearsals went on inside the theater.
Ten or so Miss California hopefuls were horizontal under four giant photos of William Saroyan and a Saroyan quote decorating the wall. The quote read: "In the time of your life, live -- so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it."
It took my review of Angelina Jolie's "A Mighty Heart" to entice Esther, who calls herself "The Youngish Yenta," back to this blog. (Welcome back, Esther!) She's expressed some strong opinions before. This time she offers her own view of the Hollywood version of Daniel Pearl's kidnapping:
Angelina Jolie is supposed to be the star of "A Mighty Heart," but her sweetheart Brad Pitt and others (maybe even Angelina herself) screwed her over. In their reported desire to be "faithful" to the vision of Mariane Pearl, the wife of slain journalist Daniel Pearl, Jolie comes off more like a perfect mimic than an actress capable of elevating another human's experience to a higher creative level.
Esther isn't the only one who has problems with this film. In Sunday's Washington Post, Asra Nomani -- a friend of Pearl's -- wrote a scathing commentary in which she said the film didn't represent the Pearl she knew. "Danny had a cameo in his own murder," she writes.
The Rentals are in town, playing The Belmont. Josh over at Fresno Famous has an interview with frontman Matt Sharp (ex of Weezer) talking about the band's return. This show is quite a coup for Fresno, it's a warm-up before the band's big summer tour. Here for info and tickets.
-- There's much country. Brad Paisley is out in Lemoore at Tachi Palace. That's sold out. Taylor Swift and Jack Ingram are performing at Warnors Theatre. Still tickets for that. Check out my Q & A with Swift, if you missed it earlier this week.
-- If indie is more your thing, check out recent Matador Records signees The Cave Singers. The group features Derek Fudesco, ex of Fresno and ex of Pretty Girls Make Graves. It's at Tokyo Garden. Rademacher is playing too. Here's a flier.
-- Want more news, tunes and interviews from our local scene? Don't miss this week's podcast.
Once my judging duties were over at last night's Central Valley Idol finals, and the winners were about to be announced, I whipped around my little camera. Check out this quick video I put together of this year's winner.
The Spice Girls have reunited and will launch a 2-month world tour in December.
Yeah. You read that correctly.
I'm not entirely sure who was clamoring for this unholy reunion, but I want that person brought forward and punished. Punished in an "eyes sewn open, forced to watch 24 straight hours of Spice World" sort of way.
I'm still holding out hope that the announcement is a sham, and that the girls are really getting together to hold an intervention for Posh Spice, who apparently hasn't eaten solid food since 1999.
Well, you know - except for those two giant grapefruits that got stuck in her chest after she swallowed them whole. Zing!
Let's get right to it:
Cheri Gorin, Miss Sierra Nevada, wins Wednesday's preliminary talent competition. No surprise here. She's got a voice and pageant experience. Gorin's making her fifth try for the crown.
Melissa Chatty, Miss North Coast, wins the evening wear competition. I don't know what the judges look for in this category. Chatty also has pageant experience; she's competed in Fresno before.
You may or may not have heard that Bravo has a new television programme called "Hey Paula" - a reality show featuring everyone's favorite slurring, dog-trampling, QVC spokesperson, Paua Abdul.
That's not important. You're not gonna watch that crap anyway since the only things worth watching on Bravo are "Project Runway" (which isn't on yet) and "Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List" (Which is hilarious. Buy tickets to her Oct. 27 show in Fresno immediately).
So far, the only thing that seems remotely interesting about the Paula Abdul show is this little game on Bravo's web site in which one is invited to determine if the quote provided originated with the "Rush Rush" singer or British Prime Minister Winston Churchill.
You know what? I only got 7 out of 13 correct. That Paula Abdul is one quoteworthy bitch.
Good luck. And don't feel too bad when you realize a former Laker Girl is smarter than you.
It's back. With a rockin' vengeance. Here's the second episode of the Beehive's local music podcast.
You'll hear music from How to Win At Life, Stoneshiver, Chuck Dimes, Outlett and South of Shaw. There are interviews with Deftones, LaKisha Jones, MoFo Party Band, A Current Affair and Bob Pierce from the Crossroads. Plus plenty of info about upcoming shows in Fresno, including this weekend's Rock of July festival at Crossroads. Listen or download below.
DOWNLOAD:
An MP3 for your iPod (right-click and save-as)
If you missed it: Podcast #1 (featuring Planet Asia, Scissors for Lefty, Blake Jones and more)
Alright, Fresno rock fans, it's your chance to speak up. I'm going to the Vans Warped Tour in the Bay Area on Sunday, gathering notes, video and audio to bring back to you guys.
It's all to get you ready for the Aug. 22 date at Selland Arena.
The problem is, there are tons of band there. Who do you want me to try to track down for an interview? Chime in ASAP, so I can try to set up the interviews. If you have specific questions for the bands, leave those, too.
The Miss California Pageant, which kicks off competition tonight at Saroyan Theatre, is like baseball.
Rookies sometimes make a big splash, but it's the experienced pros who often win the game. The point? If tradition means anything -- and boy, how they love tradition in pageant land -- the new Miss California will be a repeater.
In pageant-speak, that's a contestant who's competed before at the state pageant in Fresno.
A pro, if you will. There are a dozen or so repeaters among 49 contestants this year.
Yes, ladies and gentleman, Simon Oz is back tonight. Meaner. Tougher to impress. Louder. More judge-like. In shorts.
It's the finals of the Central Valley Idol competition at 5 p.m. at Sierra Vista Mall. Last week, the pack was pruned to 20 singers, all competing for a prize pack that includes American Idol concert tickets, meet-and-greet passes and mall money. (List of finalists and pics from last week below)
Some of singers last week were really good. Some were lucky to make it. See! Meaner! But tonight, they'll all have to worker harder to impress Simon Oz. No courtesy points for yelling "Riiiitchie."
Maybe I'm lying about that. Maybe I'll be nice. I don't have to hear "Broken Wing" 38 times tonight, do I?
I'm totally torn on this one.
Recently I've become a big advocate for supporting things that are 100% Paris Hilton-free. As it turns out, US Weekly magazine, having heard the complaints of the Paris-fatigued, has guaranteed that this week's issue has absolutely no mention of her in it.
That's good. I totally want to support that. I want billions of people to - just this once - go out and buy a crappy magazine that has the smarts to do something like this. It's a good publicity tactic for the mag, and maybe it will send a message to other gossip sources and, more importantly, non-gossip sources (CNN, I am looking right at you), that we don't want Paris Hilton in our lives anymore.
However. In place of the useless celebutante, US Weekly has made celebrity children its cover subject, something I have a little bit of trouble with.
Reader Shannon Brewington was a little concerned when she checked out the Broadway Across America Web site and discovered that Fresno was no longer listed. She writes:
If The Bee could look into this, I would greatly appreciate it. If there is something we can do here in the valley to keep this program, I think we should definitely try.
Good news, Shannon. I checked with Kathy Lustica, a senior marketing director who has handled the Fresno market for Live Nation, the company behind the Broadway Across America series. She explained that her office is splitting from Live Nation as of July 1. The new Web site is newspaceentertainment.com, and if you go there, you'll find the upcoming Fresno season listed. On the schedule: "Movin' Out," "Evita," "Gypsy," "Cats," "Annie" and "Mamma Mia."
Observation: There are only eight cities listed on the new site (Akron, Albuquerque, Boise, Colorado Springs, Eugene, Fresno, Kalamazoo and Salt Lake City) compared to dozens on the Live Nation site including much bigger ones like Washington, D.C. and Houston. Will this affect our ability to get first- (and even second-) tier shows?
KSEE 24, CBS 47 and half of my MySpace friends list are reporting that the pedestrian killed after a hit-and-run accident early this morning is Jesus Sanchez, better known as on-air personality Jay Boogie from radio station B95.
B95 listeners will remember him as one of the weekend and evening DJs, as well as one of the guys they always had out in the clubs. He always seemed like he was having a lot of fun.
R.I.P. Jay Boogie -- too much death going on this week.
Comedy Central, it isn't. No, the Miss California Pageant -- underway in Fresno this week -- is more like a cup of "Fame," a dash of "Masterpiece Theater" and a pinch of "All My Children." But Miss Placentia Lauren Howard will do her best to give people some laughs.
Howard is a comedian with a dream of someday performing on "Saturday Night Live." In the pageant's talent competition, Howard will impersonate "SNL" character Mary Katherine Gallagher trying out for "American Idol." Turns out that Mary Katherine -- a wild and crazy Catholic school girl -- has a voice that only Paula Abdul could love.
Creative Fresno's Battle of the Bartenders is back tonight. The best news is that I'm not involved. That I won't have to feel that defeat again.
Mike Borrero, a public defender, will go against district attorney Kelly Smith, serving up drinks at 6 p.m. today at Veni Vidi Vici, eaching vying for the most tips. It's for a good cause: Creative Fresno's mural project.
Guys, a word of warning: It's a lot more stressful on the other side of the bar.
Okay, you're Penelope Cruz. You're gorgeous. You've achieved critical acclaim in your career. You have an equally gorgeous best friend who is now pregnant and engaged.
However, you're still single and not getting any younger. Who do you choose as your baby daddy knight in shining armor?
Some history: You "dated" Tom Cruise for three years. (Cruz/Cruise - still funny!) You pretended not to notice that weird smell that follows Matthew McConaughey around for a whole year. Then there were the rumors about Orlando Bloom and Josh Hartnett. Alas, none proved to be el diamante in the rough.
UPDATE: The Atlanta Journal Constitution -- along with many other media outlets -- is reporting that the deaths of WWE Superstar Chris Benoit and his family are being investigated as a double murder-suicide. Police believe that Benoit died on Monday and his family died over the weekend. Police have also said the circumstances of the deaths will prove "bizarre" when released.
Details in the case are still emerging, but The Associated Press is now reporting that Benoit strangled his wife and smothered his son.
From 6/25: Chris Benoit -- widely regarded as one of the best technical professional wrestlers -- was found dead today. We always think steroids or drugs when stuff like this happens. But this story is a little different. The WWE star's wife and son were found dead inside the family's Georgia home, too.
Is there anything cuter than animals of different species making friends?
Answer: Nope.
So, for absolutely no reason at all*, I present to you "Pit Bull and Chicks."
Christina Aguilera, who has not yet come to terms with the fact that she is, in fact, a drag queen masquerading as a circus clown, has decided that she is going to become an actress. I think this is not a good idea - that it is, in fact, a horrible idea, and am openly pleading with Christina to reconsider.
Dear Christina,
Here are 5 reasons you should rethink your decision to move to the big screen:
5. Britney Spears in Crossroads
4. Lance Bass in On the Line
3. Mariah Carey in Glitter
2. Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan, Who's That Girl?, Shanghai Surprise, Dick Tracy, Body of Evidence, The Next Best Thing, Swept Away, that commercial for H&M
1. You as "Christina Aguilera" on the "Mickey Mouse Club":
Okay, so my birthday isn't until September, but I got my present yesterday.
Amy Winehouse is playing the Warfield in San Francisco Sept. 21 & 22 - a week after my birthday. So my good friends Mike Oz and Tanya Soon-to-be-Oz procured tickets for us to see her.
Sure, she's weird. She's hairy. She's missing some teeth. But girl can sing.
I'm stoked. And in celebration, I offer up Amy's newest video, and my favorite of her songs - "Tears Dry on Their Own."
Enjoy! (Language slightly NSFW - one "F" word. Deal.)
It's baaaack.
Yes, the Miss California Pageant has returned for the 14th consecutive summer to Fresno's Saroyan Theatre. Competition is Wednesday through Saturday. The roll call of 49 contestants starts with Miss Anaheim and ends with Miss Yosemite Valley. News flash: They all don't live in the places they represent.
Miss Anaheim Chasta Nechvatal is from neighboring Buena Park in Orange County. Miss Yosemite Valley Jennifer Lee -- born in San Francisco and now at UCLA -- visited Yosemite once and burned her feet on some hot rocks.
Geography is downright confusing for some contestants. Take Miss Beach Cities Brieanna Harvey, who isn't sure which real estate she goes with.
How did I miss this video? Apparently it was everywhere last week, and I am the last to see it.
Maybe it's the Raspberry Smirnoff talking, but I find this high-larry-us:
Okay, so it's a prairie dog. But here's the awesome: Best Week Ever has already posted various interps of Dramatic Chipmunk, including Darthmatic Chipmunk (now with more Jedi!) and Curses! Chipmunk (Monopoly Man Chipmunk's cousin). God bless le Internet.
Here is where I would write something explaining how the Rogue Festival is doing the first of its Rogue Year Round performances this Sunday at Starline, bringing back two of this year's favorite acts. But since the wonderful Rogue folks put together the following video telling you everything, you can just watch that.
But now that you've watched the video, I will direct you to Beehive reviews of The Suicide Lounge and Tale End.
People are making a big damn deal about a "fashion faux pas" Cameron Diaz made while visiting the Incan city of Machu Picchu in Peru over the weekend.
Cameron was carrying a green bag with a red star and Chinese writing on it, a bag she picked up in China and clearly thought was really cute.
The problem? The writing on the bag translates to "Serve the People," a Communist catchphrase that "evokes painful memories of the Maoist Shining Path guerilla movement of the 1980s and early 90s, which left nearly 70,000 [Peruvians] dead," according to US Weekly.
Yesterday, Cameron issued an apology to Peru through the Associated Press:
I'm going to blame Brooke Hogan's entire existence on steroid use (her father's), growing up around circus clowns professional wrestlers and steroid use (her own). Allegedly.
I'd say she's hideous, but I'm pretty sure she could kill me with just her chin. Whatcha gonna do when Brooke Hogan's Adam's apple runs wild on you, brother?
I talked about downtown revilization in my column last week. That always gets the ol' inbox pounded with responses. I collected some of them here, along with my replies.
Included you'll find what I think is the longest response to a column I've ever gotten, coming in at 1,300+ words. Brace yourself!
Elizabeth Edwards supports gay marriage. This came in a speech prior to San Francisco's pride parade on Sunday. Her husband, president candidate John Edwards, does not support it. In his defense, the wannabe first lady said: "He is very conflicted. ... He has a deeply held belief against any form of discrimination, but that's up against his being raised in the 1950s in a rural southern town."
I gotta say, I'm not sure how this helps him. So what if he was raised in the South? You think anti-gay Southerners are going to consider his nuanced position on civil unions? And this doesn't put him at the top of pro-gay American voters' lists, either. It only shows that his wife is a stronger leader than he is.
Isaiah Washington speaks out after being fired from "Grey's Anatomy." The habitual f-word user claims it was T.R. Knight who started this whole thing. After all, it was Knight who came out on the "Ellen" show after the controversy blew open at January's Golden Globes when Washington denied ever calling Knight a "f****t." Knight claimed everyone heard the offense. Now Washington says: "That's a lie. ... I used the word during a disagreement with Patrick. I apologized for that. We shook hands and went back to work."
So lemme get this straight: Washington allegedly calls Knight an anti-gay slur, denies it, gets fired, and now admits to it (but only under the condition that everyone knows that Knight lied about everyone hearing it). Yup, that makes sense. Knight is the guilty party here. Washington goes on to say (and forgive me for reading too much into this): "I did everything they told me to do, including not saying anything, and then they didn't renew my contract. That's not fair." Does that sound like a person who regrets his actions or a child using another f-word when something doesn't go his way?
Paris Hilton is expected to be let free the bars of justice Tuesday, and will conduct her first post-jail interview with Larry King Wednesday. I have a great idea. Let's not watch the interview, okay?
I'm serious. I'm guiltier than anybody in the "giving Paris all the attention she wants" department, but you know and I know that we have to make a change in our lives. Paris keeps crying from her cell that she's a changed person, and she's never going to "act" dumb again, and she's going to do nothing but good deeds from here on out. Well, bravo for her. Let's let her lead her new pious life in peace and quiet.
I know that news organizations and gossip columnists have tried to ignore Paris Hilton in the past to no avail, so I'm not making a promise that there will be absolutely no more Paris Hilton on the Beehive. I'm just saying let's - as a society - start small. Not watching Larry King Wednesday is a good start. Not buying People magazine when Hilton inevitably spills her sob story all over the cover is another good way. And not clicking on an Internet story with her name in the title works, too. I'm doing my part by not providing any links in this post to stories about Paris on other sites.
We have the means to start a revolution, people! If San Francisco can give up water in a bottle, then the rest of us can give up our fixation with similarly transparent, disposable garbage.
It's not going to be easy. The first time Hilton flashes her dirty business in public, or gets pulled over by a cop, the temptation to read all about it will be overwhelming. But we can prevail if we stay strong and stick together. We must prevail.
Now. Who's with me?
Here's a look back at my Friday night. My apologies to Trainwreck, Art Under the Stars and the Javon Davis Band -- other shows/events I wanted to hit up, but couldn't. I'm only one man.
HIP-SHAKING
Patrick Contreras out-did himself at his Arte Americas show. The energetic and always-boundary pushing local violinist was all over the place, both physically and musically. He was on the stage, in the crowd, playing salsa, playing Zeppelin. With the help of numerous guests -- Eva Scow, Jay Rossette and Rob the Voice to name a few -- Contreras showcased a variety of styles and had the huge crowd mesmerized at times.
He told a story about meeting George Clinton (of Parlament-Funkadelic fame) in a L.A. studio session, then covered Funkadelic's "Maggot Brain" on his violin -- something he says Clinton told him to do. The crowd was in awe, as Contreras' hands attacked the violin. Even his band just sat there wide-eyed and watched. The show was a huge draw -- surpassing even Contreras' expectations. That no doubt, is a testament to Contreras' growing reputation around town coupled with the beauty of a summer night show at Arte Americas.
I was excited when I heard late last year that there was finally going to be a fourth Indiana Jones movie.
So maybe Harrison Ford is not the spring chicken he was back in the day. And yeah, the idea of a 64-year old adventurer-archaeologist frantically pushing his walker out of the path of a giant rolling boulder doesn't exactly spell "blockbuster." But I still believed in Indy, knowing that even if the movie sucks, I'd like it strictly for nostalgia's sake.
This week, my initial excitement seems a little more justified. A still shot of Harrison on the set of the movie in full Indiana Jones gear was released, and you know what? AARP be damned - Indy looks good. No steroids or weird face lifts for this guy.
I'm going to go ahead and predict right now that Indy kicks Rambo's and John McClane's asses in the Old Codger Battle of the Box Office. Anyone wanna take that bet?
This is kind of weird, and by 'weird' I mean "exactly what you'd expect from Tom Cruise."
Remember last year when Katie Holmes was pregnant and people were speculating it was all a giant ruse, and that the bump in her belly was really a beach ball because Tom Cruise is an alien/robot, and therefore unable to conceive with a formerly normal and pretty Earth girl?
But then Suri Cruise was born, and she was cute and had all that excessive hair, and everyone went, "Oh, okay. I guess she does look like Tom and Katie. Maybe this is for real. Tom is still a tiny weirdo, though."
Well, the Cruises have been all over the gossip sites lately thanks to Katie's new disastrous haircut and penchant for wearing 4-inch Christian Louboutin peep-toes and Batman's utility belt to the beach. Suri is present in most of these pictures, and she is definitely a cute little kid. She's already walking and there are multiple pictures of her smiling and waving to the paparazzi, which she no doubt picked up from her attention-loving father. I mean, guardian. I mean... uncle?
Okay, is it just me, or does Suri look, kind of like Tom, but almost exactly like his cousin, William Mapother? If you watch "Lost" (or used to, like me) you know Mapother as the dastardly "Other" Ethan who was completely obsessed with Clare's baby.
Now, I'm not trying to start some kind of conspiracy theory about Mapother being the evil real father of Katie's child, but... just check out the photographic evidence for yourself after the jump.
I know sane, rational people are reading the Beehive.
I know this because, on occasion, one of these people will tell me, "Hey, I read your blog the other day. How about that Paris Hilton?"
These are not the people that leave comments. These are the people that leave comments:
"hi orlando, i sooooooooooooooo think that ya the hottest man in the whole universe ive watched nearly every film your in and u luk soooooooo sooooooooooo fit in all of them and oh ma gosh... i really cant wait to see the play that your going to be in next year. love ya loads from kirsty.ps ma bedroom is covered in picures and posters of you.xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx."
This is one of several recent comments left on a post I wrote in January regarding photos of Orlando Bloom peeing on a rock (uhh... slightly NSFW) and blowing a snot rocket after a day of surfing. To be fair, there is nothing sexier than seeing a delicate-featured man assert himself in such a redneck masculine way. Back to nature, indeed.
Jolie is towering as the pregnant Mariane, balancing her sharp intelligence with moments of despair. Her voice, demeanor, eyes -- even her fingers -- flux between steely resolve and tremendous pain. As a performance, it's exhilarating because it seems so much in the moment: It's as if Jolie herself is experiencing these events in real time.
I think we'll be hearing about this one come Oscar time.
Aside from Mel Brooks in "The Producers," it's hard to crack a Hitler joke and make it funny. But in "Shakespeare in Hollywood," the lively new production at the 2nd Space Theatre, Patrick Allan Tromborg does precisely that.
Tromborg, who plays the noted Austrian director Max Reinhardt, is as wacky as the next guy in this big, complicated farce that transports a couple of the real characters from "A Midsummer Night's Dream" to 1930s Hollywood. But it's a testament to playwright Ken Ludwig's script that even a rollicking comedy such as this can have a little bit of an edge. Reinhardt has fled to the U.S. to escape the Nazis, although the Tinseltown crowd he joins seems only dimly aware of world crisis. (Some things never change.)
Tromborg is a longtime fixture on the Fresno stage, and here he's top-notch: blustering, scheming and very funny. Though this high-speed farce wobbled a little on opening night, particularly in the early scenes, it picked up a lot of energy by the second act and promises to settle into a nice frenetic run.
Let's take a break for a moment and talk about something really important: Ketchup.
Notice I didn't spell it the generic "catsup." Ketchup means one thing: Heinz. A couple of years ago I read the most fascinating article in the world on ketchup by Malcolm Gladwell, the guy who wrote the best-selling "Blink." It ran in The New Yorker, and it confirmed what I've long known: There is Heinz ketchup, and then there is everything else. And everything else is yucky.
So why am I harping on this? Because I went to Livingstone's in the Tower District last night for dinner and ordered a turkey burger. I opened the bottle of Heinz ketchup on the table and poured. It was not what I expected.
You like to direct plays with large ensemble casts. Why?
In these kinds of plays, everyone gets their moment to shine. I like to make that happen -- I like to see actors succeed. In SHAKESPEARE IN HOLLYWOOD, at the very least most of the cast plays themselves as actors plus their character in the movie. Or you might start out as a stagehand and also be a cowboy and one of the Warner Brothers and part of the 3 Musketeers -- and then wind up doing a tango at a Hollywood party. I think actors like to explore their ability to do different kinds of characters.
You know the deal by now. Post No Bills is the biggest collection of Fresno fliers anywhere on the Web. Each Friday, right here at The Beehive, we give you a look at what's happening in Fresno and the Valley this weekend, next week and into the future.
Nothing to do in Fresno? Ha! Yeah right.
If you have something to contribute, e-mail it to me at mosegueda@fresnobee.com. Enjoy the fliers.
Everybody 'round town these days is talking about Scissors for Lefty. Fresno Famous is. Dorktown is. The Beehive is, too. Take note, Fresno, tonight's show is gonna be a big one.
The S.F. indie band is playing at Starline with El Olio Wolof, Same Shape and Beandip. It's actually a release party for the new Scissors for Lefty album, "Underhanded Romance" that came out last week.
I talked to Scissors frontman Bryan Garza earlier in the week about the show, the album and why the heck they're doing a CD release party in Fresno. Snippets of our conversation were in a Q & A in today's issue of 7. But here's the whole thing -- his cool ringback tone.
[ Download: Scissors for Lefty interview - MP3 // Listen: Scissors for Lefty @ MySpace ]
In today's issue of 7, I looked into the latest stage of Fresno hip-hop's "We Taking Over" movement, talking to all the artists involved, Diego Redd, Planet Asia, Shake Da Mayor, Fashawn and producer Hecktik Soprano about their concert tonight at Star Palace.
Just to get you up to speed on the whole movement, below you'll find the show flier, a free MP3 of their song and the video, which has gotten nearly 25,000 hit on YouTube. Enjoy!
LISTEN
MP3: "We Taking Over" -- Planet Asia, Diego Redd, Fashawn and Shake the Mayor. Warning: Lyrics NSFW.
I'm very proud to unveil the first local music podcast. Please give it a listen. It's 50 minutes of music, interviews and news about what's going in our music scene.
In this edition, I talked to Hecktik Soprano about the "We Taking Over" song and concert. I talked to Blake Jones about his band's trip to Liverpool. And I talked to Scissors for Lefty about their Friday night show at Starline. There's music from Patrick Contreras, Tiff Jimber, Rademacher, Clouded Vision and the Javon Davis Band.
Download it for free right here. (Just right-click and save the mp3 file). Then Stick it on your iPod and get dose of the Fresno music scene.
The ever-classy TMZ.com had a mention about Fresno on their site today, and - surprise, surprise - it wasn't favorable.
The site, which has never taken the high road in its existence, was yet again picking on the appearance of semi-celebrity Jason Davis (who is really only a semi-celeb because he is the brother of some guy who is friends with Paris Hilton). I'm not saying this guy doesn't deserve TMZ's venom, but their policy of not giving the "fat man wears funny clothes" story a day's rest is tiresome. Shouldn't they be spending their time trying to uncover breaking news about Andy Dick or Shannen Doherty?
Instead of trying to be original, TMZ went once again to the old "Fresno is a dump" well. It would be insulting if it wasn't such a cliché, or if the writing on the site was remotely smart or interesting.
Still, we should feel honored. A mention on TMZ is almost as prestigious as being mentioned in the National Enquirer or Weekly World News. There's nowhere to go from here but down, Fresno.
I've got my V-neck shirt on. My chest hair is creeping out. I'm trying to get in the foulest of moods. And I'm working on the English accent. It's all part of my transformation into Simon Oz.
Tonight, I'll be one of four judges at the Central Valley Idol competition at Sierra Vista Mall. It's a two-week thing, expected to draw about 150 amateur singers who are trying to win "American Idol" live front row seats, meet-and-greet passes for the show and a mall gift card.
The top 20 from tonight's competition will come back next Wednesday for the finals. They'll all have to work hard to impress big, bad Simon Oz. Bet on that.
For those who want to compete or just come out and watch, you'll find more details below:
Someone finally found a way to ugly up Gisele Bundchen, A.K.A. the most gorgeous supermodel ever.
Good job, W. The world's only cover-worthy supermodel suddenly looks like Jocelyn Wildenstein. What do we have to believe in now?
Last week I passed on the sad news that Club Jinnaka, one of downtown Fresno's best galleries, suddenly closed. Fresno Famous reported that the closure had to do with the consumption of alcohol during ArtHop -- specifically during the opening for Terrance L. Reimer's photography exhibition. The gallery was closed suddenly. Reimer was told to remove his exhibition immediately even though he was supposed to have the space for a month.
I talked to gallery founder Michael Garcia yesterday and asked him about the closure.
It seems that the gallery had a scare with the police a few months ago when an underage drinker claimed to have gotten drunk at ArtHop, Garcia says. Though no action resulted, Tokyo Garden owner Toshi Yoshioka -- who had struck an informal agreement with Garcia two years ago to allow space in his building to be used for a gallery -- got spooked. He was particularly concerned about liability issues. Garcia promised that he'd keep a close eye on ArtHop events and make sure things didn't get out of hand.
This came out of left-field to me. The Beat Down Slam is ending after tonight's show, which is the third anniversary of the monthly slam poetry competition.
I always thought the Beat Down was a great event. But I -- like many, it seems -- am guilty of not showing the type of support that was equal to my opinion. For that, I'm sorry. I'm sad to see it go.
Here's a letter from Kilroy, one half of the duo that put on the Beat Down:
Dear friends of The BEAT DOWN Slam,In case you hadn't heard, TONIGHT, the 19th will be the FINAL installment of The BEAT DOWN Slam. It seems appropriate, as it is also our 3-year anniversary, to end it on a significant date. It has been an interesting, sometimes exciting, sometimes bumpy ride over the last 3 years.
Let us know at CentralValley.com.
Each week we pick a new local restaurant topic to discuss. We've talked about the top pizza, top steak, top milkshake and top ice-cream treat. We went for something a little healthier this week. So let us know what you think. Your answer might even make into this week's issue of 7.
Oh, and if you're not a member of CentralValley.com, go register for our community and share your photos, add your own news and start your own blog.
I'm not a "Sopranos" guy, so maybe I missed the oh-so clever subtlety behind Hillary Clinton's latest video, which can be seen via her Web site. But I'll tell you what I didn't miss: her and Bill having an excruciatingly painful conversation about what she chose for her campaign song. (Hint: it wasn't the Dixie Chicks.)
I would have at least thought the charismatic former president would've had better acting chops than that. I guess if he's agreeing to appear in horrible videos like these, he must still be in the doghouse.
Maybe I shouldn't just go to or from Veni Vidi Vici. Consider this scene from Saturday night:
We're in the car on the way to the Tower when we get stopped by a train crossing McKinley Avenue. We're sitting in the right turn lane on Blackstone, right in front of Carl's Jr. I'm in the passenger seat. My fiancee, Tanya, is driving. Heather is in the back seat.
So we're sitting in the turning lane, looking at the flashing red lights as the train whizzes by. There's room to make a right turn onto McKinley, but only enough that we'd be butting up to the intersection and sitting behind three cars in one lane and two in another. Nobody was going anywhere. So rather than turning into the crowd we just sat there waiting for the train to finish going by.
We did that for a couple of minutes, until someone behind us started honking. We were shocked that someone would be that eager to move a whole 20 feet and 90 degrees. "Maybe they want to go to Carl's Jr.," I shrugged. Maybe they really like to face West?
Look, I wasn't going to comment on this, because it really isn't interesting, but everyone and your mom had babies (or, at least, announced it) today. Everyone but you and me.
Julia Roberts had a boy.
Keri "Felicity" Russell had a boy she named River Dreary. Yes, my friends. Post-partum depression is real and it is dangerous.
Kevin James (from "Crap, what is that show called?") had a girl.
And Tiger Woods had the only celebrity baby who actually will be popular in her high school, a girl named Sam.
Incidentally, CNN has a story about Isaac Newton, the father of modern physics, astronomy, math and optics, predicting the end of the world on their site. It's not today, although you might be tempted to think so. Four horsemen of the apocalypse - four celebrity babies born in a row. I'm not religious, but even I'm a little freaked.
Make your peace, kids! The end is nigh!
Either that, or in 16 years we have yet more stories to look forward to on TMZ about celeb spawn and their reality shows/troubles with the law/new movies. Equally evil.
Julia Roberts - remember her? - had her third child, a boy she named Henry Daniel Moder, Monday in Los Angeles. Henry is the younger brother (and inevitable punching bag thanks to his relatively normal name) to 2-year old twins Phinnaeus and Hazel. Mother and child are doing great, according to Robert's rep.
All-righty? Feel free to go back to not caring about Julia Roberts again.
I used to love Kristy Swanson. Refused to watch the "Buffy" TV series because my heart had room for only one vampire slayer. Then she disappeared, only to show up in Playboy in 2002. She looked great, by the way. Which is why it was a surprise to see her do her best Anna Nicole Smith (looking not-so great) in a "Law & Order" episode this past season.
After that, I figured I'd writer her off. So, am I shocked that she's now been arrested for allegedly assaulted her boyfriend's ex? No.
Once your life is touched by Anna Nicole, you're never quite whole again.
That size, and the company's inexperience in mounting an intimate production on a large stage, hampered this inaugural offering. The scattering of audience members at the Sunday evening performance I attended only added to the sparse effect. And the theater's large (and not very well designed) orchestra pit created a chasm of space between audience and performers.
You know the deal by now. Post No Bills is the biggest collection of Fresno fliers anywhere on the Web. Each Friday, right here at The Beehive, we give you a look at what's happening in Fresno and the Valley this weekend, next week and into the future.
Nothing to do in Fresno? Ha! Yeah right.
If you have something to contribute, e-mail it to me at mosegueda@fresnobee.com. Enjoy the fliers.
1. The blues are back. After a long absence of eight years, the Fresno Blues Festival is back: this time at Woodward Park. The action kicks off at noon Saturday and continues until 9 p.m. (Keep hydrated, folks!) Artists include Sonny Rhodes, Byther Smith, Ron Thompson, Frank "Paris Slim" Goldwasser, Mofo Party Band, Deja Blues, A.C. Myles and Trey Tosh. You can read Mike Oz's advance story on the festival that ran in Sunday's Spotlight section. It'll be hot out there, but the blues should cool you down.
In my column today, I took readers into Kristy Page's world of Fresno Firsts. Last summer, she and a friend started, about once a week, trying to experience new things in Fresno. Going to a certain dining spot, trying a new activity or hitting a different destination.
It got me thinking about things that I'd never done that I want to do and things that I've done that other people should do. I'm sure if we used our collective wisdom, we could come up with a cool list of Fresno Firsts that people could use to begin their own journeys.
I'll start:
-- Drive around on a spring Saturday and sample strawberries from the different stands.
-- Get a sandwich at Deli Delicious.
-- Go to the graffiti murals at Calwa Park.
-- Go to a concert at Arte Americas.
-- Attend a Creative Fresno blender.
Add on.
Well, I guess it's fitting we talk about Paperboy since we've already talked about MC Hammer this week. Skee-Lo, just so you know, you're next!
Anyhow, Paperboy -- the one-hit wonder guy who did "Ditty" back in 1993 (I think I still know all the words to it, too) -- was arrested Wednesday for allegedly selling weed in Merced. The Merced Sun Star has the scoop.
What bothers me the most about this story is not that Paperboy has been reduced to slingin' pot, but that he drives a 1990 Honda Accord. A 1990 Accord! Come on, Paperboy, you mean to tell me you don't even have a whip that is newer than your one hit? Not a 1997 Acura Integra? Not a Ford Focus?
Another interesting note: The KSEE 24 story says that Paperboy is originally from Hanford. Is that right? How did I not know this? It's like Steve Perry all over again.
Please, fine readers of the Beehive, reminisce with me and watch the video for "Ditty" ...
Those rumors that have been circulating lately about Nicole Richie having a tiny, little anorexic bun in the oven just won't go away.
Today, the NY Post is swearing that the rumors are true, and, according to a source, "Nicole is kind of hoping her pregnancy will keep her out of jail."
Somewhere in Lynwood, Paris Hilton is clutching the bars and wailing "Me too! I'm pregnant tooooooo!"
Oh, Kelly. Poor, poor Kelly.
It was announced today that Ms. Clarkson's summer tour -- the one that was supposed to hit Fresno on Sept. 19 -- is getting shelved for the foreseeable future.
According to Billboard, low ticket sales have caused the tour promoter to re-think the scope of Clarkson's trek.
Translation: Don't be surprised if she winds up at the Saroyan Theatre.
In tomorrow's issue of 7 I have a big cover spread on the Fresno Philharmonic's inaugural Basically Beethoven festival. The 7 package includes a recap of the festival, a Q&A with music director Theodore Kuchar and even nod to all those Beethoven pop culture references out there.
This three-concert festival includes a performance of Beethoven's whopping 7th Symphony on Friday night at the Saroyan, a chamber music concert (featuring music director Theodore Kuchar on viola) Saturday at Fresno State and a grand finale Sunday concert featuring the Eroica Symphony and Emperor Concerto at the Saroyan. There's even a German beer garden Friday before the first concert to get you in the mood. And it's air-conditioned! Check out the Phil's Web site for details.
This isn't the biggest summer classical music festival in the country, obviously. The Phil is taking baby steps to see if it can actually attract audiences during the four-month chunk in which it feels like we live in a broiler. If it works, this could be a welcome addition to the cultural scene -- and something to market to tourists on the way to summer recreational activities
Michael Garcia of Club Jinnaka sent me an email Wednesday night confirming the bad news:
After two years of hosting the talents of local artists Club Jinnaka has closed its doors. The gallery has exhibited the works of over 30 artists since June of 2005, when Michael Phillips, Geoffrey Spach and Michael Garcia opened their venue to the public. The trio would like to thank the everyone for their interest and support of Club Jinnaka. And they would like to express their gratitude to Toshi and Tommy Yoshioka of Tokyo Garden for allowing Club Jinnaka to have a chance to serve the art community.
The closure of this delightful little gallery is a blow. It was one of the nicest spaces downtown: slick, elegant and the perfect size for solo shows. The end came quickly: Photographer Terrance Reimer had his show up for ArtHop last Thursday and then -- bam -- sent me an email Saturday asking me to remove his exhibit from this blog. Anyone have any more details?
Keith Urban has come and gone. The Aussie country star hit the Save Mart Center on Wednesday night as part of his kinda-comeback tour after a much-publicized stint in rehab.
This is the part where we turn it over to you, the concertgoers, to tell us what you thought of the show. Was it good? Bad? Packed? Were there lots of empty seats? How was the set list? All new stuff? Old favorites? Does Keith still have it? Did you enjoy it?
Leave a comment with your review.
You may not know this, but I have the ability to hear Britney Spears' thoughts. Yes, that's right. It's a gift from god, and I treasure it.
Britney hasn't been happy lately, what with all the media attention going to her rival successors to the idiot throne, Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan. What say we listen in on Brit's plan to get noticed again, shall we?
Oh, and do be wary of any linked reference to Britney's body parts. They are accompanied by NSFW images. You know our Britney - not scared of a little nudity. Unlike the rest of us, who are absolutely terrified of seeing this girl naked. Again.
My good friend, Mike Oz, is involved in important, official business for the rest of this week, so he probably won't be making his blogging presence known as often as usual.
Therefore, I feel it is my duty to pick up the reins and address a topic I feel Mike has been waiting a good 15 years or so to talk about. I'm of course speaking about the return of MC Hammer.
You might not know this, but Mike is a big hip hop fan. That's right. Also of importance - Mike hails from Fremont, California, a city that MC Hammer has spent some time in, and a city I lived in from ages 3 to 12. Therefore, I feel qualified to present to you the latest effort from Mr. Hammer - a ditty called "Bring Our Brothers Home."
Seriously, you guys. I'm at my wit's end. I'm not sure what that means, but it's manifesting itself in my throwing down as much wine as I can get my hands on.
This is not my personal blog. This is the Beehive, and I am supposed to be writing about celebrities. However, I need some reassurance that I am not crazy, and that the world is not out to get me.
The water heater in my apartment was scheduled to be replaced today. I found a note on my door yesterday telling me to expect a repair person's presence, and that he had permission to enter my apartment in my absence. Immediately a bell - no, an alarm - went off in my head. I thought about what happened the last time someone entered my apartment without me being there: a visiting exterminator had left a disturbing piece of himself behind for me to remember him. Believe me - it's not something you want to come home from work to find.
So I immediately thought I'd call the apartment manager and tell her that I was not comfortable with someone entering without me being home. Then I remembered what she told me when I called to complain about the exterminator, who was hired from a local business: "That's not allowed. Our on-site people would never do that."
Oh yeah?
Parts of my interview with stand-up comics Alex Reymundo and Darren Carter can be found in today's paper. But come on, they're comedians. You need to hear them to get the full effect.
And that's just what you can do here at The Beehive. Download my interview with the two comics and get a taste of what they're about before their Friday night show at Tower Theatre.
A little background: We were having trouble getting a conference going between the three of us, but Alex figured it out. When it came time to call Carter, he tried to pull a prank on him, as you can hear in the interview.
Download: Alex Reymundo/Darren Carter - MP3 // More info: AlexReymundo.com or DarrenCarter.com
You don't know who Pete Wentz is - nor should you, unless you're a 12-year old girl with very poor spelling abilities, a warped sense of self esteem and really strong daddy issues, i.e. Ashlee Simpson.
This Pete Wentz is the bass player for a band called Fall Out Boy. They get played on the radio a lot which of course means they're not worth listening to. This guy is known for wearing a ton of guyliner (that's eyeliner for super-feminine tools; see also: Jared Leto), and for letting pictures he took of his own wang get posted on the Internet. He looks like a special edition Mr. Emo Potatohead. Only less sexy. And shorter.
Anyway, this Wentz person is all over my revered gossip sites a lot lately - one, for sharing a puking moment with Little Sis Simpson in a nightclub bathroom on the night of his 28th birthday (28. Seriously.), and two, for punching out some guy at one of his shows.
Frankly, I don't care if either story is true. I just want him to go away, and never ever come back. Every story I read about this guy involves him acting a fool, and grandma always said "If it walks like a douchebag and talks like a douchebag, it's probably Pete Wentz." Or something like that. You know how much old people ramble.
Stop being famously immediately, Pete Wentz. And take Ashlee with you. And her sister. And her dad. And O.J. In short, anyone named Simpson. Go!
If you're wondering where Paris Hilton got her classic good looks (not to mention her innate sense of class and decorum), look no further than her mother, Kathy Hilton.
If you thought Paris perfected the freeze-dried paparrazzi pose - you know, mouth slightly ajar, head cocked ever-so-slightly, soulless, dead-eyed stare - check out the mother of all media whores.
Paris even got that beak of a nose her mom is saddled with. Seriously. If you ever lose the bottle cap opener on your key chain, just slide that bottle of Corona under Mommy Hilton's sniffer and pop that sucker right off.
Ha. Was that mean? Whatever. If you're striking poses for the paparazzi en route to visiting your pampered, worthless daughter in jail - a daughter you unceremoniously foisted into the public eye in the first place - you deserve this and a lot more. The next reality show Kathy Hilton participates in should be one in which people outwit and outplay each other for the chance to bitch-slap her and Dina Lohan every day for the next year. You hear that, Fox? Get on this! Bigger than "American Idol," I guarantee it.
You know what's making a comeback lately? Really, really big butts.
Some of you may be wondering aloud if giant, badonkadonk asses ever really went anywhere. I mean, Jennifer Lopez is still around, draggin' that unearthly wagon. And Jessica Alba (who looks like a 12-year old boy to me, but whatever) is always talking about her curvy body and big booty.
But in a world where beauty is defined by the ability to fit into size 0 clothing, has the giant ass gone out of style?
If Serena Williams and Kim Kardashian have anything to say about it: hell to the no. These ladies are bringing hope to the many women out there towing around a caboose you could set your drink on. Revel in it, my friends. The Big Booty Renaissance is here.
The day big thighs make a comeback you will see me out in the street leading the Thunder Thighs Pride Parade. Until then, I salute you, Serena and Kim. You and the junk you so proudly carry in your trunk.
It has been interesting listening to all of the reactions to Sunday night's series finale of "The Sopranos." Many of you were upset there wasn't a definitive ending.
I just have one question for you. Did you watch the show?
Creator David Chase, from the first episode, has never done anything in a traditional way. That's what made the show so brilliant. Television, especially the network variety, is a wasteland of traditional thinking. Bravo (and not the cable variety) to Chase for being true to the course to the end.
My Sunday column on the terrible sound quality (scroll down for second item) of the national tour of "Hairspray," which played at the Saroyan Theatre, sparked some interesting comments from readers. Tom and Leah Gill write:
In reading your Spotlight piece yesterday, it was so good to hear someone else mention the poor sound quality at the Saroyan Theater, at least for some performances. After two years of straining to understand lyrics essential to the story, we stopped buying the Broadway packages that the theater offered. As you said, so much of it just sounded like mush! Maybe someone will explain why that happens.
Comedians Alex Reymundo and Darren Carter are performing on Friday night at the Tower Theatre.
Carter, who grew in Fresno and is pretty Web savvy, put together these two teaser videos for the show during a recent trip to Fresno with Reymundo. Warning: The second one is kinda NSFW.
In an email that he titled "Surf's up debuts at No. 4," a reader named Rob writes:
Well i guess the mind boggling scene stealing antics of the newest disney animated flicks cant be all bad compared to low key laid back retreads of similar ideas with better reviews. not all of us r into~new wrinkles!
I've heard a good amount of buzz for Tuesday's Eek A Mouse show at Crossroads. Yes, that's him at right, looking all intimidating. He's 6 feet, 6 inches, by the way. Maybe it's just me -- but doesn't he look like Mike Tyson a little?
Unlike Iron Mike, he's nice to people's ears. The Mouse plays cool roots reggae that incorporates elements of hip-hop and rock. Should be good for a summer night in Fresno.
Details: 8 p.m., $16 // Listen: Eek a Mouse @ MySpace
Well, OK. Not actually live. It's called the "Watch the West Coast Feed and Don't Look at the Internet" approach to covering Broadway's annual awards show. What fun is it just reading a list of winners online? The awards start at 8 on CBS, and I'll be here, sacked out on my living room couch, making the occasional pithy observation on this thread. If you're one of the handful of folks not watching the last episode of the Sopranos -- sorry, I don't get HBO -- join my theater lovefest.
Go, Audra!
8 p.m."And it's the Tony Awards -- live!" Except on the West Coast. But hey, everything can't be the Oscars. If you already know who won, please don't tell me! Let's see if I can live in the (tape-delayed) moment, even in the Internet age.
After spending the weekend talking to doctors, Paris Hilton has decided not to appeal Judge Michael Sauer's decision to throw her back in the slammer.
Hilton released the following statement to TMZ Saturday:
Today I told my attorneys not to appeal the judge's decision. While I greatly appreciate the Sheriff's concern for my health and welfare, after meeting with doctors I intend to serve my time as ordered by the judge.This is by far the hardest thing I have ever done. During the past several days, I have had a lot of time to reflect and have already learned a bitter, but important lesson from this experience.
As I have said before, I hope others will learn from my mistake. I have also had time to read the mail from my fans. I very much appreciate all of their good wishes and hope they will keep their letters coming.
I must also say that I was shocked to see all of the attention devoted to the amount of time I would spend in jail for what I had done by the media, public and city officials. I would hope going forward that the public and the media will focus on more important things, like the men and women serving our country in Iraq, Afghanistan and other places around the world.
One of the amazing things about the Tony Awards is how much press those poor nominated actors manage to crank out even while they're performing eight shows a week. (When do they sleep?) Audra McDonald has been doing more than her share. As we prepare for the Tonys Sunday night, here are a couple of good Audra links:
In the New York Times, she answered reader questions.
Here's a Broadway.com rundown on Audra's past awards and nominations.
Playbill Online has a recap of some of Audra's radio interviews.
Here's an interesting Audra Q&A interview.
A reminder: I'll be blogging the Tonys Sunday night right here on the Beehive. Drop in and say hello.
In my Sunday column I write about the new Robert Cremean show at the Crocker Art Museum in Sacramento. His name is familiar in Fresno because of his long association (and subsequent falling out) with the Fresno Art Museum, which still holds some of his work.
In this new show, titled "Skinned," Cremean makes a specific reference to the museum in a work titled "Myself." On it you can see the word "FAM" depicted in the museum's distinctive logo, with red triangle instead of an A, followed by "SHAME."
Ouch. If you're from Fresno and are familiar with the local arts scene, the logo leaps out at you like a neon sign. Click "continue" to see an image of the work (look in the upper left-hand corner, next to the black rectangle, for the faint lettering), along with another couple of beautiful works from the show.
You would have to be living on Mars not to know that Hilton has been the chief topic of every form of media in the past few days (and years). She's in jail. She's out. She's back in. I don't care. She was a novelty when "A Simple Life" started. Hilton should just be yesterday's news.
It would be nice for this much attention be heaped on those who deserve it. I offer Carly Schroeder and Emma Roberts, both 16, as examples. It had a chance over the past week to talk to the teen-age actresses. Schroeder can be seen in the family film "Gracie." Roberts has the title role in "Nancy Drew."
Paris Hilton, who was brought to an L.A. court in handcuffs this morning, has been ordered back to jail to serve the rest of her 45-day sentence, with credit given for the 5 days she has served so far (per TMZ). AP reports claim that Paris was taken from the court screaming, "It's not right!" and calling out for her mother.
I don't know. That sounds pretty intense. I'm going to reserve sympathy for her, though, until after I hear what this "deteriorating" illness of hers is. I was going with herpes for a while, but with the reports of a rash and now this mental component, I gotta go with syphilis. Yeah. Definitely the syph.
More/Developing Stories:
Paris plans to appeal ruling.
Artist's rendering of Paris in the courtroom.
Sheriff: Paris' health was deteriorating in jail
Paris is checked into Twin Towers Correctional Facility
While you await the fate of America's current most famous criminal, check out John Kenney's imagining of what Paris' life in prison would be like, told by the heirhead herself. A sample:
Day 11: Jayne Mansfield spoke five languages. She was a concert-level pianist. Marilyn Monroe was a Formula One race car driver. Twiggy built her own home, raised guinea fowl and invented penicillin. Eleanor Roosevelt patented commercial air travel. And yet all of us played a role, the blond bimbo, the ditzy, fun-loving "party girl." Roosevelt especially. But what's to say I couldn't be the first person to walk on the moon or be the first woman to go to college?
Funny stuff. Thanks to RM for the link.
And now, class, it's time for our famous Ocean lesson:
Billy is a singer. Danny is a Las Vegas criminal. Never shall the two meet, unless George Clooney's character in "Ocean's Thirteen" starts dancing to "Love Zone."
So when I referred to "Billy Ocean" in my print review of "Ocean's Thirteen" in today's newspaper, it was just a clever pop-culture test to see if you were paying attention, 'k? (The name has been corrected in the online edition, which is one reason why the Internet is such a glorious beast. And, thank goodness, the error was caught before the review went out on the McClatchy wire service to the rest of the world.) No, not really. The real reason: brain freeze.
I thought the pictures from Wednesday's John Mayer show deserved their own post, so here they are. These are strictly for the die-hard John Mayer fans out there, so if you're a hater, I say move the hell on. I owe JM some love and this is it.
Speaking of JM, big thanks to my friend, Jennifer Martinez, who not only gave me a front row ticket to see John Mayer knowing full well I've been kind of a butt to him lately, but also contributed some of the following pictures to the Beehive. Props!
Here's the thing. I loved John Mayer. And then I kinda hated him. And now I'm pretty sure I'm back in love with him again.
My Beehive buddy, Mike Oz, has given his account of Wednesday night's John Mayer/Ben Folds show at the SaveMart Center - basically, he was pretty unimpressed with the whole thing, and I think there was a part about ice cream or something. Anyway, now I'm here to weigh in with my opinion on the show, which is this:
John Mayer is HOT.
As I've stated before, I don't give concert reviews. I forget to bring paper for notes, and I have a terrible memory, so I can't tell you what songs were sung in what order or anything like that. But here are my impressions - with photos this time! - of the show.
I had a nice chat earlier in the week with Jim Fairchild, ex of Grandaddy, who brings his new project All Smiles to Visalia on Sunday night.
His band is opening for Menomena at The Cellar Door (9:30 p.m., $5). You can check out a portion of the interview in Friday's issue of 7, but you can listen to the whole thing right here on the Beehive.
We talk about his relationship with his Grandaddy bandmates, starting over in Chicago and how a Visalia musician got a spot in the All Smiles band.
[ Download: All Smiles interview - MP3 // Listen: All Smiles @ MySpace ]
On Monday I'll be interviewing LaKisha Jones of "American Idol" fame, to preview the July 20 "Idol" tour stop at the Save Mart Center.
Y'all know the drill by now: If you have a question you think I should ask, leave it as a comment and maybe I'll ask LaKisha your question. I'll even give you a shout out if I use yours.
Eventually, I'll post the audio of the interview up here at The Beehive for all to hear.
A gunshot wound to the shoulder wasn't enough to keep Dr. Burke down; in the end, it was a 6-letter word that got him kicked out of Seattle Grace Hospital.
Yes, Isaiah Washington, f-bomb dropper, liar, public service announcement star and - oh yeah - actor, will not be returning to "Grey's" in the fall. Those of you who watched the show's finale know that the door was left wide open for Washington's character, as Dr. Burke was denied the Chief's job, and then took off after finally realizing what the rest of us have known for three years - that Cristina Yang does not possess the ability to love other human beings.
Washington made this statement about his firing to the media, which is less of a statement and more just him repeating a line from a movie he watched on AMC last night: "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it any more."
Mad as hell, hunh? That's pretty much what got you in trouble, in the first place, isn't it? Good luck finding a new job, jackass.
Hold your herpes.
The judge who sentenced Paris Hilton to 45 days in jail has ordered the freebird to return to court tomorrow morning at 9 a.m. to determine whether she should head back to the slammer. In case you missed it, Paris was released this morning on house arrest.
Paris, who is just begging for an eventual ass-kicking, released this statement today:
"I want to thank the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department and staff of the Century Regional Detention Center for treating me fairly and professionally. I am going to serve the remaining 40 days of my sentence. I have learned a great deal from this ordeal and hope that others have learned from my mistakes."
It would be hilarious to see Paris get tossed back in the slammer, partly because of this statement made today by her aunt, who said the family was going to visit her in jail Saturday, "but now we will have to have a party."
But mostly because she is an entitled skank who annoys the crap out of me. Yeah. Definitely that second one.
If you're at all interested in the history of the Fresno local music scene, I highly recommend checking out the "Fridge Worthy" show at Kaos Headquarters during ArtHop tonight.
Mark Halvorsen put together the show, gathering local show fliers and posters from 1980-2000. I got a peek at some of the collection while I was working on my story about the show. It's fascinating.
Some of the bands represented in the show include: Harsh Reality, The Shroud, E is for Elephant, Sexx Sinn and The Neanderthals. There are also nods to venues such as The Wild Blue, The Olympic Tavern, Patterson Hall, Cadillac Club and Knights of Columbus Hall.
Lots happening in Fresno today, between a bunch of concerts and ArtHop. Below is the rundown. Where are you going to be?
1. Birthday Bash' 07 at Warnors Theatre: Queens of the Stone Age, Sum 41 and Plain White T's perform for 104.1's big birthday show. 6 p.m. $25. [ Tickets ]
2. ArtHop: Lots of stops as always. Check out the new ArtHop web site for details. Personally, I'd recommend the "Fridge Worthy" show. Various times. Free.
3. Fulton Plaza Thursdays at the Fulton Mall: Trey Tosh and The Fusion Porn perform. 5:30 p.m. Free.
Only three days into her sentence, Paris Hilton has been let out of jail due to unspecified "medical reasons." She is now on house arrest, which is a mighty harsh punishment for a millionaire heiress who has people waiting on her hand and foot.
Whatever. I'm too tired to care. CNN has the details. And as long as the medical reasons remain unspecified, I'm going to go ahead and assume herpes. Or Big Fat Whiner Baby. That's a condition, right?
**UPDATE, KINDA** I just read on TMZ that, contrary to earlier reports, Paris Hilton was, in fact, subjected to a full body cavity search upon entering jail, so now I'm going to assume that the "unspecified medical reasons" that sent Paris home were for the protection of the staff, and not Hilton herself. Latex gloves just aren't thick enough, are they?
John Mayer is vanilla ice cream. Vanilla isn't the best ice cream out there -- but it's good. Really, how can you hate vanilla ice cream?
Vanilla ice cream has potential. It's pretty darn good when you go to Cold Stone and load it up with goodies. But it can also be pretty plain. Like Mr. Mayer. On both accounts.
He was at his best during his Wednesday night concert at Save Mart Center when he took his plain-pop radio songs and morphed them into extended bluesy, jammed-out versions. When he showed he has real guitar chops. When he took the vanilla ice cream and made it Neapolitan or cookie dough. He did this with "Gravity" and it was thrilling.
At Fashion Fair, eagerly awaiting the 10 a.m. grand opening of Fresno's Apple Store?
Until then, you can check out this trash/defend Fresno war going on over at this Apple blog.
In today's paper, I have an interview with Queens of the Stone Age guitarist Troy Van Leeuwen talking, largely, about the group's new album "Era Vulgaris," which comes out next week and which Fresno will get a taste of when QOTSA headlines 104.1's Birthday Bash '07 on Thursday at Warnors Theatre.
That's just a small piece of our interview. You can download and listen to the rest of our talk here at The Beehive. We discussed how iPods have changed the way people listen to music, "Guitar Hero," Queens' international fan base and more.
[ Download: QOTSA Interview - MP3 // Listen: QOTSA @ MySpace ]
As you probably know, Britney Spears was photographed over the weekend in Puerta Vallarta with her butt cheeks hanging out of a neon thong bikini (NSFW).
More pictures of her sad, crinkly butt falling out of an overworked and underqualified bathing suit bottom have surfaced and are pretty much all over the Internet (still NSFW). At first I was disgusted - I mean, who lets their mother-of-two, fast food-chomping booty be photographed not once but twice over a weekend? But now I have come to realize that Britney is performing a public service.
She is warning us what America is fast becoming - a nation of obese exhibitionists eager for fame - or proximity to fame - at any cost. She is reaching out through the all-consuming media to a public fixated on celebrity fallibility and degradation and showing us our own imperfections. She is the mirror reflecting the very nature of humanity. We exist only because Britney Spears chooses to acknowledge our existence!
Or whatever. All I know is, her cellulite got my ass to the gym twice so far this week. My hats off to you and your grossly inappropriate swimwear, Britney Spears.
I have to be nice to John Mayer this week. Till tomorrow, anyway.
As some of you may know, Mr. Mayer is gracing Fresno with his presence tomorrow night at the SaveMart Center. And maybe 2 or 3 of you know that I, in the past, have been a little less than kind to John Mayer - someone whose music, I must be honest, I actually enjoy.
Oh, that's right. I am a John Mayer fan. Deal with it.
Still, I was not planning to go to the concert tomorrow night, mostly because I've seen him perform twice in the past (good shows, both), but partly because I am sick to death of him because of the Jessica Simpson thing. It shouldn't matter, but it does.
However. I now find myself with a front row ticket to tomorrow's concert, thanks to a friend who had a spare and who - as fate would have it - has the same initials as John Mayer.
We already saw what Akon does to girls who step on stage with him. Now we've learned what he does to guys:
To show her adoration for Keith Urban and for a chance to meet him at his upcoming Fresno concert, local woman Shelli Thornton has put together a Keith Urban karaoke night on Wednesday at Jimbo's in Clovis. It starts at 9 p.m.
She explains (in her own words) how this will help her maybe meet the Aussie country star:
"I am trying to win a contest through Keith Urban's Fan Club. The contest consists of promoting his upcoming concert. Each contestant gets points for things like fliers, getting the word out over the internet or radio and television coverage. I am doing all of it. I came up with the idea of getting new fans of Keith by having a Keith Urban Karaoke Nite at Jimbo's."
It's official - Paris Hilton has spent her first night in jail.
Hilton checked herself into the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, CA, just after 11:30 p.m. Sunday night. She had until Tuesday to show up, but it sounds like she came up with a really tricky way to throw some of the paparazzi off her scent - she made a surprise appearance at the MTV Movie Awards last night and then snuck off to the Men's Central Jail in downtown Los Angeles just after 10:30 p.m. From there, she was escorted to the women's facility in Lynwood, where she was booked, fingerprinted and issued a standard jail jumpsuit.
Apparently, the sheriff's dept. came up with the idea of Paris turning herself in at the men's location to avoid the "crush" of paparazzi waiting at the women's facility. Still, TMZ managed to get video of Paris showing up - car window open so the cameras could get a better shot of her tears, of course.
According to CNN, Paris has already had her first prison meal - cereal, juice and bread, which is significantly more than the stale cup of coffee I'm having, so once again I find myself slightly envious of all that Hilton has.
In case you missed the MTV Movie Awards last night (and god, I hope that you did), Paris' send-off wasn't quite as sweet as I'm sure she imagined in her head. Host Sarah Silverman made a few jokes (may be NSFW) at Paris' expense, much to the delight of the audience, and nearly putting Paris in tears. Awwwww...
Paris, if you pretend the bars are stripper poles, you'll feel right at home. See you in three weeks.
When did it become okay again to wear neon thong bikinis to the beach?
I mean, if it's 1992, and you're a 6-foot tall glamazon living in South Beach, then okay. Maybe a thong isn't beyond the realm of possibility.
But if it's 2007, and you're a mother of two living in Los Angeles, and your name is Britney freakin' Spears, it's not okay. NOT OKAY.
Not safe for work. Definitely, definitely not safe for work.
One of the key moments in "Hairspray," the outgoing and supersized Broadway musical of the 1988 John Waters film, comes in the second act when heroine Tracy Turnblad, thrown in jail for protesting the fact that whites and blacks can't dance together on local TV, finds herself in solitary confinement. Plump and relentlessly optimistic, Tracy is one of those larger than life characters who's nearly perfect for the big, broad confines of a musical spectacular. She can raise your spirits just by bouncing on stage. Despite her humble upbringing and notable weight, Tracy is convinced that she can have it all: the hunky guy who has captured her heart; fame and fortune as a dancer; and even a slightly less racist world.
Behind bars, she stands alone on stage -- one of the few intimate moments in this non-stop cheery show -- and sings:
I'm all alone, my heart has grown, but it's broken, too.
This morning life was a Baltimore fairy tale, now I can't make bail.
In a way, this is a moment that can make or break this show. If your heart goes out to Tracy -- if you truly believe in her power to change the world -- then "Hairspray" is a glittering, bright and happy dose of good cheer. If not, it turns silly and soppy.
In my column today and earlier in the week here on The Beehive, I talked about my participation in today's Men Who Cook event at the Fresno Art Museum.
It's a fundraiser for the museum where about 70 guys prepare food. Attendees pay $20 and can sample as much as they want.
I'm making chicken tacos -- what I thought wouldn't be tough, but soon realized is crazy work. The reality of cooking for 200 people set in and I freaked.
As I prepare for Men Who Cook I'm going to be keeping a journal here on The Beehive. So you can check back to see how I do -- or even better, come out and try my tacos.
More people are finding out about Cook now. He can be seen in the new thriller "Mr. Brooks." Cook goes completely against his comic side to play a peeping tom who wants to share in the thrill of a murder. He might be best known, especially to younger people, as a comic. But, Cook can handle drama.
He says his fame is all due to the Internet. There is also another reason.
You know the deal by now. Post No Bills is the biggest collection of Fresno fliers anywhere on the Web. Each Friday, right here at The Beehive, we give you a look at what's happening in Fresno and the Valley this weekend, next week and into the future.
Nothing to do in Fresno? Ha! Yeah right.
If you have something to contribute, e-mail it to me at mosegueda@fresnobee.com. Enjoy the fliers.
We covered Chris Brown and Jack Ingram/Taylor Swift tickets going on sale this weekend, but there's many more tickets to get your hands on.
Here's a quick rundown:
1. A parade and more. This is Fresno's Pride Weekend -- and you can help celebrate with a special screening by the Reel Pride gay and lesbian film festival of the film "Laughing Matters ... The Men" at 8 p.m. Friday at the Tower Theatre. Saturday is the big pride parade in the Tower District along Olive Avenue. It will feature numerous grand marshals, including Broadway actor Kristopher McDowell, along with floats, cars, singers and dancers. Following the parade is a festival that includes 60 informational and merchandise booths and a beer garden.
2. Home movies. The Fresno Metropolitan Museum's "First Friday Films" series kicks off 8:30 p.m. Friday at the Reeves ASK Science Center. The program is made up of experimental films, short videos and short documentaries. The theme for the first presentation is "Home Joys."
The performance Wednesday at the Saroyan Theatre of "Forever Tango," the seductive wallop of a show that's been touring the world for 10 years, brought out the "inner Methodist" of a friend who accompanied me.
"It's like people getting dressed up in evening clothes and having sex on stage," he said in a mock judgmental tone. (Then he impatiently waited for intermission to be over so he could go back and watch some more.)
I'm not sure I'd go that far, but he was right about one thing: It got pretty steamy up there on stage at the Saroyan. Tango isn't necessarily any more explicit or provocative than much of the dancing we see these days on music videos, say, or in the field of vision of irate high school principals cracking down on "freakin" at the prom. But tango is intense. It smolders. It's so fluid and suggestive that it almost seems like you're watching a private moment between two lovers.
In today's 7 entertainment guide I include in my theater-review roundup a brief rundown on this year's "New Wrinkles," the senior variety show that has been packing audiences in at Fresno City College for 19 years.
I have a big story coming up in Sunday's Spotlight section in which I talk to cast member Mary Jane Cavanaugh-Fisch, who has been in the show 18 of those 19 years. When I saw the show last week, I was impressed not just with Mary Jane's onstage poise -- let's just say that at 82 she can tap dance circles around most young'ins two-thirds her age -- but also the amazing amount of talent among some of Fresno's more seasoned performers.
Among my favorites:
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