You know how you're always like "Madonna should just grow up... she's not 20 anymore... she needs to act her age and stop wearing leotards and stop dancing around in suggestive ways and doing Pilates and believing in weird religions and stuff..."
Well, today you got your wish:
Take it back. Take it back.
Wanna see the sexiest thing ever? It's Nicole Richie's sternum.
I guess since people stopped worrying about her weight and started worrying about Britney's hair, Nicole needed to redirect the collective focus back to her exoskeleton chic. Seriously, what's the point in wearing your rib cage on the outside if In Touch isn't going to scream about it on the cover?
The lucky fellow next to Nicole is her boyfriend, Joel Madden, who clearly has always harbored a crush on Zorak from "Space Ghost":
And the concert news keeps coming in: Queens of the Stone Age will come to Fresno to headline 104.1's Birthday Bash.
Sum 41 and Plain White T's will also perform at the show, being held June 7 at the Paul Paul Theatre at the Fresno Fairgrounds. Tickets go on sale Saturday, not sure on a price or where to buy tickets yet. If somebody knows, help us out.
Britney Spears received a stern warning Friday after cops tried to arrest the "singer" for prostitution. Cops admit they were confused by Spears' outfit, saying "Only a whore would wear ripped fishnet stockings, a bra and a pair of panties in broad daylight on a public street. Okay, maybe Carmen Electra would. Definitely Paris Hilton would. Definitely. That girl looks like she's goin' ho-in' even on Easter Sunday at her grandmama's house."
The cops let Spears off with a warning, reminding her that she's a mother of two and should stop acting like an attention-seeking spoiled brat.
Oh. Oh wait. My bad.
The real story is that Britney Spears was pulled over for speeding and let off with a warning. I think you can understand my confusion. I'll just file away the ho-in' story for future use. Something tells me I'm going to have pull this one out again, and soon.
Greg Taber and Lisa Mercier-Taber, in their director notes for "This Flattering Glass," an original adaptation of Shakespeare's "Richard II," say that the real story in this play is love. I think that's a stretch. Sure, it's possible in any work that delves into the human condition to find a connection to love -- whether it's "passionate, deep, tender, forbidden, unrequited, self-indulgent, shallow, desperate, abusive, destructive," as the directors put it -- but even in this heavily truncated version of the play, in which the number of characters has been reduced to a third and most historical references stripped from the text, love isn't what I think of. The complete and utter incompetence, obliviousness and sad detachment of a ruler for his people still seems paramount.
Still, I give this Theatre Ventoux production lots of points for ambition, verve and a strong viewpoint. There is a timelessness to Shakespeare's tale that resonates no matter if it's 1377 or 2007, and in his heavy editing of the text, Greg Taber finds an intriguing core of meaning. Today, in our society, our politicans are more likely to launch attack ads against each other than employ assassins, but the conflict (and venom) is in many ways the same.
It's been a rollercoaster week for Hugh Grant.
First there was the Baked Bean Incident - perhaps the greatest celebrity/paparazzi encounter ever - in which Hugh was arrested for allegedly chucking a tub of baked beans at a paparazzo. He was released on bail and has not been charged yet, but I think he's been punished enough now that every tabloid on the market has printed photos of him fighting like your grandma.
Grant got much better news Friday when he received undisclosed damages from the UK's Daily Mail over false stories the paper had printed regarding Hugh's ex-girlfriends Jemima Khan and Elizabeth Hurley. Grant's lawyer says that the actor will give the money received to a cancer charity. Nice!
So how do these two incidents affect Hugh's relationship with photographers? Well, the paparazzi are a whiny, vindictive group, so if you make them angry, they'll find a way to let you know what they think of you:
This past season has been a little wobbly for Fresno Grand Opera. Yes, the big-name concerts with Audra McDonald and Josh Groban were predictably polished. But "South Pacific," the company's first foray into musical theater, was less than an enchanted evening. "La Cenerentola (Cinderella)" had its moments but overall was a little dowdy, more like a wannabe stepsister than a sparkling princess.
But with "Manon Lescaut," the rousing Puccini production that opened Friday at the Saroyan Theatre and plays again 2:30 p.m. Sunday, the company is ending the season on a high note.
Solidly staged and powerfully sung, particularly by its trio of high-impact male principals, this production has sass and class. It looks great and packs a strong emotional punch. Throw in Puccini's glorious melodies and a nimble orchestra, ably conducted by Joseph Rescigno, and you have some really fine moments of opera.
2. Also on my list for the weekend: "City Dances" at Fresno City College. The concert, for the first time under the direction of Chinese-born dancer Jimmy Hao, features a wide range of multicultural dances in an effort to represent the diversity of the college. Performances are 7:30 p.m. Friday, 2 and 7:30 p.m. Saturday and 2 p.m. Sunday.
Do you hear that big thumping noise? It's the sound this week of bloggers and media critics piling up on newspaper publishers over the crazy decline in books coverage over the past few months.
My favorite summing up comes from Art Winslow on the Huffington Post:
In the new book burning we don't burn books, we burn discussion of them instead. I am referring to the ongoing collapse of book review sections at American newspapers, which has accelerated in recent months, an intellectual brownout in progress that is beginning to look like a rolling blackout instead.
The only big-paper book review supplement that seems safe these days is the New York Times.
Wondering what's going on in Fresno this weekend? In the coming weeks? You came to the right place. Below you'll find fliers for this weekend, next week and the future. If you have something you'd like to add, hit me on the e-mail or leave a comment. Enjoy!
In today's 7 section, I have a condensed review of "The Lion in Winter" at the 2nd Space Theatre. Here's the full version:
Indeed she does: the imposing Eleanor of Aquitaine, played in the 2nd Space production of James Goldman's "The Lion in Winter" by a chilly and venomously endearing Laurie Pessano, has an expression frozen on her visage that suggests a canny feline assessing a new and potentially dangerous situation. With her head cocked and her razor-sharp eyes boring into -- well, into what we're not sure, but you're pretty sure you wouldn't want to be the primary target of her attention -- she is a commanding presence, especially to her husband, Henry (Paddy Myers), who has cut down untold numbers of enemies on the battlefield but is still unsure how to handle his temperamental wife.
"Lion," which tells the story of England's first Plantegenet king and his attempt to name an heir from among his three sons, is a history play, but at its core it's really the story of a tumultuous marriage. The best part of this uneven Good Company production is the fiery chemistry between king and queen as they bicker, plot and attempt to wound each other, all amongst a family setting so dysfunctional it could be broadcast as top-rated medieval reality TV.
Talk a little more about the plot of the show.
"This Flattering Glass" is about relationships: fathers and sons, husbands, wives and lovers, leaders and followers and how those relationships are destroyed by power. Richard banishes Henry, who returns upon the death of his father to claim his birthright. Richard's subjects then join forces with Henry to depose the king and install Henry in his stead. During the course of the play, loyalties are tested, trust is betrayed and lives are lost.
Hugh Grant was arrested Tuesday for allegedly throwing a tub of baked beans at a paparazzo.
Sigh.
Look, I get the throwing - paparazzi are super annoying and they deserve to be pelted with whatever's handy. It's the baked beans I don't understand. Is this a British thing? Who keeps a tub of baked beans - especially one that large - on hand? This revelation into Hugh's eating habits brings his hotness level down a smidge - just a smidge. Luckily, he still looks pretty good chucking that tub of bean and lard.
Judging by the sad-looking picture of Hugh mid-attack, I'm going to go ahead and guess that the paparazzo is okay. I have exclusive video of the entire fight after the jump, and you can judge Hugh's fighting skills for yourself. Me? I see now why the British had to develop a sharp wit and razor tongue to defend themselves.
Beehive reader StephEN asked (comically) in our latest American Idol post if Kelly Clarkson was pregnant. If he really wants to know, he can find out for himself, up close and personal. But he'll have to compete with thousands of shrieking Clarkson lovers.
Clarkson -- the first of the American Idols, in case you forgot -- announced her summer tour today and there's a Sept. 19 Fresno date in the mix. No official word yet on the venue, but Save Mart Center is a good bet. Tickets are supposed to go on sale May 12, according to Kelly's people. More details should be coming soon.
Clarkson's new album "My December" is coming out this summer, with her new single "Never Again" already running up the charts. Clarkson last performed in Fresno in 2005. Below you'll find a couple YouTube video from that show.
Insanity! First we're supposed to think Jordin is going home? But it's really all a little joke, this being charity week and all? Then nobody goes home? But two people will next week? What in the name of Tamyra Gray is going on?
Has your heart stopped racing yet, Jordin fans? How do you feel about all this? Were you about to throw something at the TV? And the rest of you: Do you feel gypped? Like you sat through two hours of performances for nothing? And with that, we turn it over to our "Idol" pundits, Mike and Felicia
Felicia says:
"American Idol" Wednesday night not only raised a ton of money for charity but acted charitable as well, sparing all of the Top 6 from elimination -- too bad the show did it in a cruel way.
Okay, why didn't anyone tell me about David Beckham?
I have gone on and on about the hotness that is David Beckham on this blog, all based on seeing his image on web sites and in magazines. I couldn't actually say that I'd seen the man in action, so to speak. Until today.
Beckham's public service announcement for the Malaria No More web site premieres tonight during "American Idol", and it has already made its way onto the 'Net. For the first time ever, I heard David Beckham speak today.
Friends. Why did no one tell me about Beckham's high-pitched, London hooligan voice? He sounds like an extra from To Sir With Love. I feel like the audience at the end of Singin' in the Rain when they find out Lina Lamont sounds more like Minnie Mouse than Lauren Bacall.
Revel in the end of my soccer fantasies by checking out Beckham in the following PSA while I try to think up other movies you've never seen for reference in future blog posts.
The Beehive investigates, in the parking lot after last night's concert.
Related:
-- Gwen vs. Akon: The Concert Review
-- Fans of Gwen and Akon face off
-- Akon talks to The Beehive
On April 12, David Letterman quoted a Fresno Bee classified ad on "The Late Show," during his "Small Town News" segment. The ad read: "Found: Large, obese goldfish. Approx 11yrs old, blind as a bat."
So ... who would place such an ad? Click on this link to meet Lori Igasan, a Fresno housewife and mother of two.
*** UPDATE: The woman who claims to have sent in the ad emailed me, and she said Leno mentioned it a couple of nights earlier. ***
It doesn't look like everything is all that Rosie with "The View." It was revealed today that the producers of the ABC morning show and the new chat group member Rosie O'Donnell could not reach an agreement on a contract. Her final full-time shift will be in mid-June.
The report from ABC was that Rosie wanted a one-year deal, the producers wanted her to commit to the show for three years.
The truth is probably closer that boths sides wanted to give this bad idea a quick burial.
The bigger question is: Are you as good at ANYTHING as this guy is at beer pong?
I talked to Spectacular Blue Smith of hip-hop/R & B boy band Pretty Ricky for a story that ran in today's paper. We talked about the group's upcoming show in Hanford on Friday night, how devoted Pretty Ricky is to its fans and what kind of image the group portrays to its mostly teenage fan base.
Good news, Pretty Ricky fans, you can listen to the entire interview right here on the Beehive. Download it, stick it on your iPod and listen to it as you get ready for Friday night's concert.
[ Download: Pretty Ricky Interview - MP3 // Listen: Pretty Ricky @ MySpace ]
Soon there will be only five. The top six "American Idol" contestants took the stage last night and tonight one will go. Who will it be? And who dazzled last night? Leave a comment and tell us. But before that, check out what our "Idol" panel of Mike Osegueda and Felicia Matlosz had to say about last night's show. Agree? Disagree? Let us know.
Felicia says:
My, my, how the dynamics have shifted on "American Idol" since the distraction of the Great Sanjaya has disappeared.
It's obvious now that this is a two-diva race, not between front-runner Melinda Doolittle and powerhouse LaKisha Jones ... No, no, it's Melinda and young Jordin Sparks. And, in a minor side plot, Phil Stacey has suddenly resurrected himself with two weeks-in-a-row of good song choices and solid performances.
Akon might be better than Gwen Stefani at this very moment when it comes to making hits and getting played on the radio. But when it comes to live performances, Tuesday night's concert at the Save Mart Center showed that Akon needs to spend their tour together studying Ms. Stefani. He can learn a thing or two from her about putting on a solid show.
Entrance
Akon: Before Akon took the stage, his mohawked DJ Benny D came out and tried to warm up the crowd by playing radio hits from Kelly Clarkson and Black Eyed Peas and urging the crowd to sing along. Excuse me, who thought this was a good idea?
Once Akon came out, he bounced around the stage to a reggae beat, then jumped into "Shake Down," an album cut. It took 10 minutes for him to even get to one of his hits, and that was only his part of Young Jeezy's "Soul Survivor." Come on, man. You got hits. Sing them. Most of these people don't have your album, they just know the songs on the radio.
McDonald's has jumped on the "American Idol" bandwagon with Happy and Mighty Kids Meals toys. The selections include a microphone, MP3 player and sunglasses.
BORING!!!!!!
The fast food change should have been more creative in the design of the toys. The following are a few of the ideas that should have been considered when creating the toys for all of the Happy and Mighty Kids Meals consumed by "American Idol" fans.
We're about seven hours away from the Gwen Stefani/Akon show, so here's a bunch of stuff to get you ready. And yes, tickets are still available.
-- PopBytes has a run-down of Saturday's show in Las Vegas, including pics, the set list and a jolly Paris Hilton. Gwen's pictured in five different outfits, if you have a bet riding on that sort of thing.
-- How about three different reviews of Sunday's Chula Vista show? Take your pick: San Diego Union Tribune, Orange County Register or Los Angeles Times.
-- Some videos from the tour dress rehearsal in San Diego have made it onto YouTube. Pick your song: "Wind It Up," "The Sweet Escape," or "Hollaback Girl." Unless you want it to all be a surprise tonight.
Take a trip with me, friends. A trip to the inner recesses of your heart and mind, where the embarrassing and uncontrollable geek side of you lives. This is the side you try to hide from your friends, from your spouse, from the outside world.
This is the side of you that will be awakened after you see this freakin' amazing trailer for the next Harry Potter movie - Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix. Seriously. I cannot remember ever being this excited about anything on a Tuesday afternoon. I want to crawl into my excitement and live there for all eternity - just me and this movie trailer, and some beef jerky to snack on once in awhile.
Anyway, take a look at this trailer while I try to figure out when exactly my life took this shameful turn into pure sadness. Enjoy!
Did you know that R & B singer Akon's real name is Aliaune Damala Bouga Time Puru Nacka Lu Lu Lu Badara Akon Thiam? For real. That's just one of the tidbits you can get from listening to my phone interview with the Senegal-bred singer.
As you might recall, I asked people for questions for the Akon interview. Unfortunately, we didn't have a chance to get to them. We were about to, as you'll hear in the interview, but Akon was on an airplane and had to turn off his phone. Also unfortunate, I didn't get to ask him about the recent controversy involving him, a 15-year-old girl, a Trinidad nightclub and repeated instances of "smack that, all on the floor." Best I can figure, that happened the night before our interview.
But we did get to talk about his relationship with Gwen Stefani, their concert tonight at Save Mart Center, his many collaborations, his voice and his knack for making hits.
[ Download: Akon Interview - (Semi NSFW, there's one curse word near the end) // Listen: Akon @ MySpace ]
According to his rep, actor Jonathan Rhys Meyers has checked himself into an alcohol-treatment program. Rhys Meyers is currently appearing on Showtime's "The Tudors" and was in the films Match Point and Bend it Like Beckham.
We should show Rhys Meyers a lot of support right now. You and I have no idea what it's like to go through life looking like he does. I think the following short documentary will give you some insight into the world of beauty, and will instill you with a little sensitivity for those who have the misfortune of being born really, really, ridiculously good-looking.
I am going to remain calm, very calm, while I relay this hideous, disgusting untruth to you.
Apparently, some gossip sources are reporting that Leatherheads co-stars John Krasinski and Renee Zellweger are romantically involved, and that the two were spied together enjoying a talk by author David Sedaris.
Here is the thing. My boyfriend John Krasinski would never date a pucker-faced twig like Renee Zellweger, nor would he take her to see one of my very favorite authors. So.
I. Am. Calling. Shenanigans.
Gossip is evil, and I have been reformed.*
So, check this out. I sat down this evening to write a blog post about how Fresno got a mention on the Best Week Ever blog today, when I came across something extra cool.
In its "news" roundup, BWE has a link to the story about Fresno High School student Cinthia Covarrubias, who is running for prom king. Cool, right?
The point of my post was about how Fresno finally made it onto BWE without the aid of Kevin Federline. To prove my point, I was going to link to an older BWE story about our shining star K-Fed. I typed "Fresno" into BWE's search space and saw this link: "Is Fresno having the Best Week Ever?"
A production assistant on location for Val Kilmer's new movie made a fatal mistake this morning when she banged on the door of a TMZ staffer's house in Echo Park and demanded that the staffer's wife move her "f***ing car" out of the road so portable toilets could be set up in the street for Kilmer.
Yep. Really.
Kelli Lassen has publicly apologized (via TMZ, natch) for her language and behavior, claiming that she was worried the cars would be towed and that she "sincerely care[s] about the local Echo Park residents."
Lassen has no reason to apologize. Look at that picture of Val Kilmer's mid-section. Dude could seriously blow at any time, and we should be thanking her for trying to keep us all out of harm's way.
Sanjaya! You may have been cast off "American Idol," but you're a winner in my book. Well, not really.
Sanjaya Malakar, 17, made headlines today saying "I'm not just a musician, I'm an entertainer."
You're entertaining, all right. And even though I never saw you on your overextended stint on the Fox reality game show, I'm a fan. Just not of your singing or musicianship.
Not that I know anything about music. But I did see enough of VH1's "Best Week Ever" in the past few weeks to know you're as good of a singer as I am. (Btw, I had to lip-synch in my high school production of "Godspell" -- and I was the president of the drama club.)
Anyway, choose your words wisely, young man. Or, just let your hair do the talking, and you'll be fine.
If it is possible for an entertainment program like "Ebert & Roeper" to "jump the shark," it happened Saturday.
For those of you not familiar with the shark reference, it means that a television program has done something so stupid that it is time to cancel the show. The term comes from an episode of the situation comedy "Happy Days" where the Fonz (Henry Winkler) did a stunt that had him jump over a shark.
The shark that bit "Ebert & Roeper" was John Mellencamp. Yes, the musician. He was the guest critic on Saturday's show seen locally on KFSN, Channel 30.
Some have noticed that lilliputian actor Tom Cruise seems to be shrinking before our very eyes. Cruise, seen here at a gala for his controversial detoxification project for those affected by chemicals released at Ground Zero after 9/11, does look tinier than ever, it's true.
But it's infinitely more alarming that he appears to be morphing into Guido the pimp from Risky Business, as well.
My god - what has Katie Holmes gotten herself into?
One of these is a picture of Brad and Angelina preserved in wax and the other one is a photo of the real life couple.
I defy you to figure out which is which.
Gwen Stefani kicked off her Sweet Escape tour yesterday in Las Vegas, and TMZ, in its magical way, has managed to dig up a copy of her backstage list of demands, also know as a performer's rider, just in time for Gwen's performance Tuesday at Fresno's Save Mart Center.
So, while you're hitting the Doghouse Grill or BJs prior to the show, what will Gwen herself be feasting on? Organic fruits and vegetables and water.
Yes, Gwen's rider, unlike those of other, more demanding divas, is pretty admirable. In addition to the organic snacks, she requires soy milk, white bath towels and aromatherapy candles. And that's it. Sort of pales in comparison to the brand-new toilet Madonna demanded at every venue, doesn't it?
Gwen's tour partner, Akon, on the other hand... Well, I'm sure we can only imagine what he expects to find waiting backstage for him. My guess? An I.D. checker and a good lawyer.
Here's something to get you pumped for Tuesday: Check out organic Gwen's new video "4 a.m." after the jump.
To research that column, I sat down with three of the principal components of next weekend's production: Stage director Joseph Bascetta, conductor Joseph Rescigno and soprano Frances Ginsberg, who plays Manon. Here are some of their insights about this opera, which will be performed 7:30 p.m. Friday and 2:30 p.m. next Sunday at the Saroyan Theatre.
The background: Puccini worked with a whopping seven librettists to craft a version of the short novel by French author Antoine François Prévost. Sounds like a typical Hollywood film, eh? The young composer wasn't the first to set Prevost's story to music -- and in fact many encouraged him not to so he wouldn't be seen as unoriginal -- but that didn't hurt him. It became his first grand success. Ginsberg notes that many of the gorgeous melodies and themes you can hear in "Manon Lescaut" were fleshed out in such later Puccini triumphs as "La Traviata" and "La Boheme."
Okay, you probably don't know who Jason Biggs or Lake Bell are, and who can blame you?
Biggs , the more famous of the two, was the guy who expressed intimacy with the title pastry in American Pie and Lake Bell is some actress with a dumb name. But someone somewhere is claiming they're a couple and I'm calling shenanigans.
Check out the pictures of Biggs hugging Bell while she keeps her hands at her sides or in her pockets and tell me this chick isn't using the pie-humper for some publicity. She knows two semi-stars create more buzz than one, so she's willing to put in the work.
And judging by that outfit, it appears she's doing everything she can to physically repel Biggs. It doesn't seem to working, so I'm sure we can count on another photo of these two in the near future, with Bell dressed in an old manure sack and a literal rat's nest in her hair.
You know - the "Olsen" look.
The Superficial reports that Lindsay Lohan's private messages from Gmail, MySpace and her Blackberry have been hacked into by someone claiming to be from Lohan arch-nemesis Paris Hilton's camp.
The messages are exchanges between Lohan and friends Paris, Stavros Niarchos, Shanna Moakler and Lohans' alleged girlfriend, Samantha Ronson. Once you see Lindsay's self-given profile name, you'll understand why being called "firecrotch" didn't seem to phase the redhead. Do I have to warn you that the emails make liberal use of inappropriate, not safe for work language? And do I have to tell you they're inarticulate and nearly illiterate? Or that, as noted by Lohan, gossip queen Perez Hilton is a big, fat you-know-what?
If you answered "no" to these questions, you're already 57% smarter than Lindsay Lohan on her best day, and probably 84% more sober.
You: But, Heather! Lindsay went to rehab, remember? She doesn't drink anymore!
Me: Riiiiiiiight. And Ireland Baldwin just invited her dad, Alec, to the father-daughter dance at school.
Some people are giving Kevin Federline a hard time about this photo of him chatting up a giant-bosomed woman in a low top at a club in Las Vegas. I say we should cut the guy a break, though.
We all know what a great father he is - I'm pretty sure he's just interviewing for a wet nurse after discovering son Jayden James was getting nothing but moonshine out of his mama.
Meg Ryan certainly isn't prominent in the print advertising for "In the Land of Women," which I review in today's issue of 7. In fact, just by glancing at the display ad in The Bee, there's no hint that ol' Meg is involved in the project. Adam Brody and Kristen Stewart get star billing, and there's a photo of them in a lip-locking kiss. Everything about this marketing campaign screams: This is teen-flick territory, especially geared toward those for whom "When Harry Met Sally ..." is ancient history. (Some weren't even conceived when it came out.) Ryan is nothing more than a glorified cameo, reduced to playing supporting-role mom status while those with younger skin take their places in the spotlight.
Except for this: Ryan not only is an integral part of this movie, she commands it. I'm happy to say that "In the Land of Women" has one of the most deceptive trailers I've seen in a long while; if you think you've got this film pegged going in, you're wrong. There are still some flaws in the film, and I don't give it a wholehearted rave. But Ryan is terrific. Maybe she'll even pick up some new fans.
In case you weren't absolutely sure that Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith's daughter, Dannielynn, OK magazine has scored a photo spread with the new dad (third story down).
Look at her eyes and his eyes and then think about how Smith denied him a paternity test before she died, and insisted that Stern was the baby's dad.
If you're still not certain the baby ended up with the right guardian, think about this: Smith's mom, Virgie Arthur, had a child with her stepbrother. TMZ has a near-indecipherable graph documenting the whole thing.
I swear, I am going to do whatever is in my power to get Anna Nicole's face on a coin. If her life doesn't encapsulate the American Dream, then I don't know what does.
Wondering what's going on in Fresno this weekend? In the coming weeks? You came to the right place. Below you'll find fliers for this weekend, next week and the future. If you have something you'd like to add, hit me on the e-mail or leave a comment.
Here are my music picks for the weekend:
1. Vintage Days Battle of the Bands: 10 bands vie for the crown. [ Story ]
2. The Aggrolites: Dirty reggae from the Aggrolites at Babylon. What more could you want for 4/20? OK, yeah, that . [ Flier ]
3. Pulse: Spoken Word + Music = Cool. [ Flier ]
4. Que Onda Car Show: Lowriders + E-40 = Also cool. [ Flier ]
5. Body Rock Saturdays: DJs F-Plus and Don D make Veni Vidi Vici the perfect place to chill. [ Flier ]
Hella fliers below.
The latest celebrity online video made me realize just how much of a separation there is between me and famous people. Will Ferrell appears in a 2-minute comedic scene in which he has to dodge his alcoholic landlord (there's a twist, and it's a good one -- see embedded video below).
But after watching it on YouTube, I found an Apple ad in which Ferrell discusses the iPod (again, see below). It's very funny, but it was a bittersweet viewing experience because not one hour earlier yesterday morning, I erased my buddy (and fellow Beehiver) Donald's video iPod, after he let me borrow it so I could hear the Forbidden Broadway version of the musical "Wicked" (I'm also a theater geek).
Anyway, so I plug in Donald's iPod to my iTunes, and I get a message saying it needs to "restore" this iPod before it connects. And, like a moron, I click OK. Next thing I know, all of Donald's 1,500 songs (and his videos) were deleted. This makes no sense to me. But then, I'm more like the PC Guy in those Apple commercials, so even though Apple products allegedly are easier to use, you have to be hip to not completely screw up your buddy's $300 toy.
2. Fresno State's opera workshop performs 7:30 p.m. Saturday and 3 p.m. Sunday in the Concert Hall. On the program: "Three Sisters Who Are Not Sisters" by Ned Rorem (text by Gertrude Stein), and "Gianni Schicchi" by Giacomo Puccini.
3. Japan is too far for a day trip -- unless you fly on over to Hanford 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Sunday for the seventh annual Spring Festival at the Clark Center for Japanese Art & Culture. This day of Japanese art, activities, food, workshops and performances includes taiko (Japanese drumming), Japanese tea ceremonies and flower arrangement workshops. You also can visit the exhibition "Tracing the Silk Road With Ikuo Hirayama." Details: (559) 582-4915, www.ccjac.org
About 45 minutes ago I drove past FTK and saw what appeared to be a row of three people sitting in chairs outside the shop. Shoe campers! Gotta be.
They were waiting for the Saturday morning release of the Air Jordan "Old Love, New Love" package. It's two pairs of the original Air Jordans (that's them, pictured) that come in one box and sell for $200. One pair is the original Chicago Bulls colorway, the other a new yellow/black colorway. At this point, it's considered one of the more sought-after shoe releases of the season.
I looked at the clock in my car and realized they had 22 hours to wait until FTK opens at 11 a.m. tomorrow. I looked at the overcast sky and realized they might have to brave some rain. Oh, there's a fine line between dedication and insanity.
In my Sunday column I mention some of the winners of the 2007 Fresno Musical Club awards. Here's an expanded list courtesy of the club. (Friday update: I finally got the photos attached, thanks to the help of the ever-vigilant club rep Ida May Hiebert.)
The Fresno Musical Club has again given substantial financial awards to young musicians and music students. The auditions and awards were conducted over two weekends. On March 17, the committees for the Young Vocalist awards, the Hildred Minich Scholarship, and the newly inaugurated Susan Torres Award for pianists, conducted auditions and presented the winners in recital at Fresno City College. The Hildred Minich Scholarship highest award went to Michael Carlson of Mariposa, violinist, a student of David Margetts. The second award went to Ryne Quivoz of Visalia, cellist; and an encouragement award was given to Taylor Eisley, a violist. The Fresno Young Vocalist awards were presented to Kelley Jensen, Karina Mares, and Isaac Villanueva. The newly inaugurated Susan Torres Award for pianists was given to Teresa Yu, a student and performer at the San Francisco Conservatory of Music. She has specialized in the performance of chamber music and has already performed professionally in New York.
It's the bad about hip-hop that's often talked about. But one thing the rappers always seem to do better than other artists (and don't really get credit for) is respond quickly to current events.
This week two very different rappers, Jin and Lil Flip, were the first to respond in song to the Virginia Tech tragedy. While neither of these guys are my favorite emcees -- or even the best examples to point to as really good hip-hop artists -- they were quick to put pen to paper and voice to mic. So that wins some points. Have a listen.
Listen: "Rain Rain Go Away" by Jin [ stream / download ]
Listen: "Time After Time" by Lil Flip [ stream ]
We all know Alec Baldwin is kind of a dick, but this is unbelievable.
A tape of Baldwin, who has been in a never-ending battle with ex-wife Kim Basinger for the love of their 11-year old daughter, Ireland, has surfaced. It is a voicemail he left for his daughter, during which he tells her
"I want you to know something, okay? And I want to leave a message for you right now because again it's 10:30 here in New York on a Wednesday and once again I've made an a-s of myself trying to get to a phone to call you at a specific time....I'm tired of playing this game with you. I'm leaving this message with you to tell you that you have insulted me for the last time. You have insulted me.
You have insulted me for the last time. You don't have the brains or the decency as a human being. I don't give a d-mn that your 12 years old or 11 years old or that you're a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the a-s....
And when I come out there next week, I'm going to fly out there for the day just to straighten you out on this issue....
Then I'm going to get on a plane, then I'm going to turn around and then I'm going to come home so you better be ready Friday, the 20th, to meet with me because I'm going to let you know just how I feel about what a rogue little pig you really are. You are a rude, thoughtless little pig, okay?"
Stop what you're doing right now - this is going to be worth your time.
Corey Feldman and Corey freakin' Haim are going to be guest columnists on MSN, and they have invited their fans (Me! Me!) to ask them questions about anything - love, show business, how ridiculously awesome The Lost Boys is.
Even better, the Coreys are returning to the spotlight in their own reality show on A&E. According to Variety, "The Coreys: Return of the Lost Boys" will be a comedic half-hour show following Corey Feldman as he welcomes his old pal, Corey Haim - who has become broke and homeless - into his home. Seriously! It's a comedy!
Some interesting things appeared on The Beehive's sister blogs (Opinion Talk and Sports Buzz) today. Lisa Boyles posed the question about the media's appropriateness of showing the Virginia Tech gunman's messages and photos (the bottom of today's A1 certainly didn't pass my Cheerios test ... I blurred out the gun in Photoshop for the purpose of this blog entry).
Which is why I was giddy to see that one of The Bee's fishing gallery readers emailed this picture to online content coordinator John Mincks.
Which one is more gruesome to you?
It all makes sense now. I was supposed to interview Akon while he was in Trinidad last week, but the interview got postponed because he was having "travel issues" -- meaning he was sore from playing a game of "R. Kelly Jumps on a Trampoline" with a 15-year-old girl on stage at his show. Class, Akon. Pure class.
Watch the following video while you can. Ones like it have been getting yanked off YouTube today because of "copyright infringement," which apparently is slang for damage control.
Warning: Slighlty NSFW.
Warning II: Akon performs at the Save Mart Center on Tuesday.
Oh, and here's a photo (also kinda NSFW) of the 15-year-old -- who is a pastor's daughter, mind you -- on stage with Akon, who is supposedly a polygamist. You can't make stuff like this up.
Well, how was Ricky Martin last night? Somebody? Anybody?
What did he sing? Was he good? Bad? Average? How was the crowd? I heard the show wasn't selling all that great. Was there a decent number of people there? Am I fool for watching old "Law & Order" episodes instead? If you saw the show, drop a review and let us know.
After what will gone down as either one of the most heartbreaking or most anticipated nights in "American Idol" history -- yes, Sanjaya is gone -- Beehivers Mike and Felicia are here to talk about life post-Sanjaya.
Felicia says:
Finally, it's over. The genius of The Sanjaya had an entertaining, incredulous journey through "American Idol" this season, but you sensed this week he had run out of steam. Even the hairstyle was disappointing, with that bandana draped like a napkin on his head. And his singing? It dropped to a new low in atrociousness.
America, we have something to talk about. Sanjaya is no more. Not on "American Idol" at least.
He cried. The crowd cheered. Some people around the world said "finally." Others -- like me -- were sad. His sister probably smiled on the inside. VoteForTheWorst has to pick a new favorite. And somewhere, some girl from MySpace doesn't have to feel guilty anymore about breaking her fast.
And with that, I present ...
Um. So there was an injury today at Disneyland. I think.
KABC Los Angeles is reporting that gusty winds caused a palm frond to blow free of its arboreal tethering and attack a Jungle Cruise boat, scraping the neck of a 17-year old girl. Firefighters rushed her to a medical center, even though according to an Anaheim Fire Department official, the frond's fall was broken by the boat's rail before scraping the girl's neck.
Look, I don't want to make light of anyone's injuries, but... really? A slow-moving leaf? I'm sure it hurt and everything, but I got hit in the eye - in the eye! - with a Nerf gun pellet today and no one thought at all about rushing me to a medical center. I'm pretty sure some people even laughed. Or snickered, at the very least.
I'm not jealous. I'm not! It's just - palm frond? It wasn't even in her eye.
I'm just saying.
Biz reporter Bethany Clough got the scoop on the Cabo Wabo location opening in Fresno. We're excited. Are you?
No word from Sammy yet. But we'll try to track him down. I still want to take him to task for his dig at Fresno, but I'll ignore that for now as the visions of tequila dance around in my head.
Previously: Can Sammy Hagar save Fresno?
Related: Cabo Wabo in Business Week.
More than 17 million tickets were sold to touring theater productions last year. Now they're finally getting their own awards, according to backstage.com:
The comedy musical Spamalot was honored with the top prize at the Touring Broadway Awards presented yesterday by the League of American Theatres and Producers.
On the list for best choreography: Twyla Tharp's "Movin' Out," which comes to the Saroyan Oct. 16 and 17. And picking up the award for best long run is "Chicago," which played in Fresno last year.
Memo to self: Think twice about joining any company with "Cirque" in the title. Even if it isn't Cirque du Soleil. The danger to life and limb -- or at least to one's wallet from repeated chiropractic visits -- is way too high.
The enthusiastic group that set up Tuesday night in the Saroyan theater in the show "Cirque Dreams Jungle Fantasy" managed to create at least a couple of genuinely intense moments for me as an audience member. Will the cylinder balancing act pick tonight to go unbalanced, sending its Russian duo spinning into the front row? Will the "Owls on a Perch" act miss a "who" and plunge to the floor below? Interestingly, I felt more tension watching this show than last year's extravagant and meticulous "Delirium," a Cirque du Soleil production, at the Save Mart Center. There's a slightly more organic, spur-of-the-moment feel in "Cirque Dreams."
I've already heard today from several people who attended the show that they were disappointed it wasn't the "real" Cirque. To them I answer: Tough. For one thing, I made it abundantly clear that this isn't Cirque du Soleil production in my advance piece on the event. And another, how did people think they were getting into a Soleil show for just 48 bucks, top price?
The hilarious comedy "Hot Fuzz" opens Friday. The film's star, Simon Pegg, says that any good parody starts with a base of truth. The practical research done for "Hot Fuzz," so says Pegg, was just as important as watching 138 hours of cop movies. Stories, like the police investigating the swan escaping or an officer having to buy cake as a form of punishment, are all true stories.
Here's how he explains it. The big cliches of the cop movies only come across as funny when blended with reality.
In case you were out having a life Saturday night, the following is SNL's best guess as to what a conversation between Jessica Simpson and John Mayer sounds like.
Oh, and for no good reason, here are pictures of Jessica Simpson wearing the ugliest pair of pants ever made.
I saw the headline She runs the 26.2-mile Boston marathon in space, and I thought, at least it wasn't she takes the 900-mile Houston-to-Orlando drive on the ground.
Because we all know what happened the last time a female astronaut made the news.
Is it really time for LaKisha Jones to go home? Will Sanjaya finally get the boot? And can Chris Richardson's fanbase keep him alive another week?
These are the questions going into tonight's "American Idol" Top 7 results show. Here to break down last night's performances and offer their elimination predictions are Beehivers Felicia and Mike. Have a read and tell us who you think is going to get eliminated tonight.
Felicia says:
First, the "American Idol" kingdom isn't impervious to the real world around it. In a week when so many people died at Virginia Tech at the hands of a crazed gunman, live entertainment shows like AI have to acknowledge the tragedy ... and host Ryan Seacrest did so with a simple, sincere statement at the start of Tuesday's episode.
It's still a little early for me, so I don't quite trust my judgment on this one.
Are these watercolor portraits of the cast from "The Office" (British and U.S. versions!) cool, or just super creepy?
I'll have to keep staring at the four one I bought of Jim Halpert until I feel confident enough to make a decision.
Having some good friends who are part of the local advertising world, members of the Beehive decided to crash the Fresno Advertising Federation's Schmooze & Booze event held on this very windy night at the Elbow Room in Fig Garden Village.
Oh, you weren't there? Don't worry. This event happens every third Tuesday of the month, so you can contact the Fresno Ad Federation and get the details for next month's event.
Below are some pictures of folks who were there, and - as usual - I apologize for the blurriness of my sadly low-budget photos. Buy me a new camera and we won't have this problem. Right?
The site of April's Schmooze & Booze.
People have been asking me like crazy about the May 21 John Legend show I posted about last week. Finally, more details emerge.
Tickets go on sale at 10 a.m. Saturday, costing $39.75 and $49.75. You can go to the Fresno Convention Center box office, Ticketmaster locations, Ticketmaster.com or LiveNation.com to buy tickets.
On the opener: The concert announcement says Legend will be joined by a "to-be-announced special guest." He'd been touring with Corinne Bailey Rae. Could be her. Could be someone else. I'll let you know what I hear when I hear it.
Okay, this is totally old, but I'm pretty sure I didn't acknowledge it when it happened and tonight's episode of "Sex and the City" on cable channel 23 totally made me think of it and now I want to post about it.
The episode was Season 4's "The Real Me" during which Carrie gets recruited for a fashion show and then she falls on the runway and Heidi Klum comes out and steps over her and Stanford says the now classic line "Oh my god - she's fashion roadkill!"
Yeah. So. Following is Carmen Electra and soap star Alison Sweeney falling on their asses during a fashion show for Max Factor. I know that was a big set-up for something that sounds terribly inconsequential, but trust. Watch the clip a couple of times, paying special attention to the audience's reaction, and you'll see. Hee hee! You'll see!
Sigh. I'm the reason "America's Funniest Home Videos" has been on for, like, a hundred years.
Bad news y'all. While rehab can assist with some afflictions - like mending a tarnished reputation or teaching one that name-calling is wrong - it cannot fix inherent stupidity.
The evidence: A presumably sober Britney Spears was captured on film by X17 online attempting to make a statement about the problem of celebrity stalkerism in this world - or something like that. I could only watch about 15 seconds of this mess, during which Britney adopts her normal speaking voice a Valley girl-type voice and informs the camera
"Like this lady told me, she said, 'Britney, go to the light. Go to the light and see Jesus, OK?' And I was like, 'Ohmigod, I'm going to do it.' And I did it. And it happened, and it's just so weird because our world is so nice."
According to US magazine, Britney, positive she had struck satirical gold, even demanded a retake from X17 just so she could fine-tune her performance.
The shows were a plenty this past weekend. Social Distortion at Rainbow Ballroom. Jamie Foxx at Save Mart Center. Country Joe McDonald and Big Brother & The Holding Co. at Crossroads.
Did you see anything you liked? Something you didn't? Leave a review and let us know. Now here's my take on the Jamie Foxx concert:
Jamie Foxx -- 04.13.07 at Save Mart Center
More than anything, it seemed like Jamie Foxx wanted everyone to recognize him for the polar talent that he is. In our interview prior to Friday's show at the Save Mart Center, he said his concert -- a combo of comedy and music -- would be like seeing two different performers. And it was. Foxx made sure of it.
Crowds were thick and enthusiasm high over the weekend as Filmworks' third festival smoothly unfolded. The big hit of the festival seemed to be the Oscar-nominated short-film program, which should cheer up any fan of this long-neglected (and financially non-lucrative) art form. Other strong films in terms of attendance were the opening film, "Sweet Land," and the closer, "L' Iceberg." (That film, with its morose wit and feisty physical comedy, prompted both adamantly positive and negative reactions from people I talked to who saw it.)
Audience members voted on three awards that were announced Sunday night at the conclusion of the festival.
Highlight of the program was the hard-driving "Nine Sinatra Songs," an entrancing piece choreographed by Twyla Tharp back in 1982. Decked out in ravishing Oscar de la Renta costumes specially designed for the original performance, the dancers took the stage in pairs in movements choreographed to such famous Sinatra songs as "Softly As I Leave You" and "Strangers in the Night." Graceful and sultry, each movement had its own particular air of evening-dress sophistication -- with the women performing amazing twists and leaps on heeled shoes -- and elegance. What I liked best, though, was the intense characterizations presented by the dancers. It was like watching a blend between musical theater and ballet, with some of the dancers coming across as tentative, others wild, others aloof.
Whoo! Last week was a craptastic week for gossip, wasn't it? "The Hills" sex tape that didn't exist! The "American Idol" one that probably does! Imus fired for being Imus! Britney buying hats and wearing the same pair of boots all week long!
Here's what you may have missed while you were braving the Fresno equivalent of a tornado, scrambling to get your taxes started done and just plain FLYP-ing the heck out:
Jon Cryer - most recently of CBS's "Two and Half Men", but known forever in my world as Duckie from Pretty in Pink - is getting married.
To a woman.
Hunh.
Remember a while back when bets were being placed on Prince William of England marrying his girlfriend of five years, Kate Middleton, in July? Losers! One and all. It appears the most wonderfully interesting match-up coming out of England in July is that between Harry Potter and Voldemort.
Yes, William and Kate have split, and the British press is going cah-razy with speculation as to why. Some say it's because Kate couldn't handle the overwhelming presence of the media. It's possible -- Kate and William met while William was at school, back when his life was officially off-limits to the press. Now that he's out of school, both he and Kate are frequent targets for the paparazzi; so much so, that Kate filed a complaint of harassment recently against the media.
Now reports are surfacing that the Queen of England herself has chimed in on the matter - telling William that if he went ahead with marrying Kate he'd be turning her into another Diana.
This edition of The Beehive's favorite game focuses on mentions of our fair city in the printed word.
It was bad last month when a comic of "Luann" referred to Fresno as a poor-woman's attempt at pulling off a Paris Hilton look.
Then, a Fortune Magazine travel story said to stay away from any city that looks like you-know-where (scroll to No. 14). Thanks to reader Chris B. for that one.
I guess the Fresno-bashing lives on in TV, comics and travel stories. Would that make us the Jester of All Media?
A busy, busy weekend ahead. My picks:
1. The 3rd Annual Fresno Film Festival. Catch "Sweet Land" 7 p.m. tonight for the opening. My pick of the festival is the closing film, "L'Iceberg," which screens 7 p.m. Sunday, all at the Tower Theatre. If you're a film fan, you owe it to yourself to catch at least one of the 20 films from 12 countries (including some shorts) showing this weekend. And if you're a whining film fan who has ever uttered the words "Why doesn't Fresno ever get any good art films?" and you STILL don't patronize this event, then may you be cursed by sequels and dog-poop jokes till the end of your cinematic days.
KFSR -- the Fresno State listener-supported radio station -- is in the middle of its annual pledge drive.
As part of this, the Evening Eclectic portion of KFSR's programming schedule is bringing guests into its studio to help drum up support. And who better then The Beehive, right? My buddy Will and myself will be in there tonight at 6, as part of Frank D's program, adding a little sting.
You should check that out, but you should also think about supporting KFSR with a $25 (or higher) donation. Commercial radio being what is (watered-down, dumb and repetitive, if you ask me), it's good to have a station like KFSR in Fresno that plays independent and non-mainstream music. I'll have my check ready when I walk into the studio.
What does it say that Fidel Castro and the Olsen twins were born and Tupac Shakur died on a Friday the 13th? Or that there's a better chance of the 13th falling on a Friday more than any other weekday?
I guess that the former makes the day more special, and the latter a little less. I mean, nobody makes a big deal about Thursday or Saturday the 13th, which occurs four times fewer than Friday in 4,800 months.
More weird facts can be found on my new favorite site, Wikipedia. (I know, I'm just discovering the Internet. Isn't it awesome?
If it's too late today to get into this superstitious holiday, you can always wait till the next one -- it happens in July.
And in the opening film of the 3rd Annual Fresno Film Festival, a gentle and evocative indie-style film titled "Sweet Land" that screens 7 p.m. Friday, we follow the story of hard-working homesteading farmers in Minnesota in 1920 who forge a new life by transforming the land into golden waves of grain. Mostly told as an extended flashback, we agonize in the present day with a grandson who must decide whether to sell the family farm, which will be turned into, presumably, a voracious development of cookie-cutter houses.
Wondering what's going on in Fresno this weekend? In the coming weeks? You came to the right place. Below you'll find fliers for this weekend, next week and the future. If you have something you'd like to add, hit me on the e-mail or leave a comment.
My picks for this weekend are:
1. Aphrodesia, a Bay Area afro-beat band, playing at Crossroads. [ flier ]
2. Jamie Foxx at Save Mart Center. [ flier ]
3. The Jamie Foxx afterparty at On The Rocks. [ flier ]
4. Woodstock Remembered at Crossroads, with Country Joe McDonald and Big Brother & the Holding Co. [ flier ]
5. The Fish Benefit at Crossroads, with MoFo Party Band, King Sugar and more. [ flier ]
In today's 7 section, I have a condensed review of "Marisol" at Epic Theatre Company. Here's the full version:
There's a fine line between the haves and the have-nots in Jose Rivera's potent "Marisol." How fine? A couple of hundred dollars.
That's the amount that one character in the Epic Theatre Company production, known only as Woman with Furs (memorably played by Lori Gambero, whose distinctive voice has never sounded better), goes over her credit limit. She bought a fancy hat thinking it's no big deal if she goes a few dollars over. But the authorities took a dimmer view, she recalls in a searing monologue. Police busted into her house, punched her husband in the stomach, hauled her off and tortured her. Now she's wandering around lost in New York with only one shoe, fighting for her survival on the streets.
Such is the crazy, mixed-up world found in this strange and often wild urban apocalyptic fantasy.
As promised in today's issue of 7, here's my interview with Social Distortion frontman and punk rock icon Mike Ness. We talk about the band's current tour, its upcoming projects, his love for cars and much more.
Social D. performs tonight at Rainbow Ballroom. Tickets are still available.
[ Download: Mike Ness Interview - MP3 // Listen: Social Distortion @ MySpace ]
Everyone knows that Amazon.com changed the book-buying world in terms of pricing, availability, driving mom-and-pop booksellers out of business, etc. But sometimes it's the minor consequences that are the most trail-blazing.
Now, when an author of stature dies, you can literally track the book-buying public's upswing in interest.
That's what happened with Kurt Vonnegut, who died Wednesday night. Less than 12 hours later, I'd received an email release informing me that sales of Vonnegut's books have soared on Amazon.com as "news of the author's death" circulates:
His complete works, available on Amazon.com, range from science fiction, satire and black comedy. His most famous works, Slaughterhouse Five (1969), A Man Without a Country (2005) and Cat's Cradle (1963) are seeing significant sales increases of 1,885%, 5,333% and 1,423%, respectively. Kurt Vonnegut's books occupy 14 of the top 20 slots in the Movers & Shakers, which looks at sales in the past 24 hours and occupy five slots in the top ten according to Amazon.com.
It is a rare day when someone doesn't call or e-mail to lament about a certain television program or radio show. Some are upset a show has been canceled. Others don't like the content of a program. In recent weeks it has been an outcry about the departure of the liberal talk radio format on KFPT, AM 790. It is now another sports talk station.
There is always an outcry when a television is canceled. There are still people who refuse to believe that "Firefly" is not going to pop back up on the Fox Network.
It is gone. Get over it. I have certainly gotten past the cancelation of "The Adventures of Brisco County Jr.," "Profit," "John Doe" and "Wonderfalls" by those Neanderthals running Fox. No bitterness here at all.
The firing of Don Imus by CBS just proves what I tell everyone when they call or write.
Local rock heroes The Same Shape have been named one of five finalists in the San Francisco-based Coast Recorders battle of the bands. They'll compete on April 24 for a grand prize of close to $7,000 worth of studio time/work. Before all that, though, the band is looking for some local support. Read their plea:
We are all really excited about making the finals as there were over 90 bay area bands that entered the contest. We wanted to see if anyone in the Fresno area would be interested in supporting TSS at this event as the more fans we have there making noise, the better we will do in the competition.
Talk about a great discount for classical-music fans: The Fresno Philharmonic just announced a two-day sale in which every available seat in the house for the upcoming concert April 21 and 22 with cellist Lynn Harrell is $20. (Regular prices are $26-$53.) It's like an airline fare sale! The discount is available April 12 and 13. During my time in New York City I became very adept at scoping out discounts to major cultural events, but it can be harder in Fresno. Here's your chance to hear a world-class cellist and save some serious dollars. Go to the Phil's special sale page for details.
Showin' leg was not enough for Haley Scarnato. Her and her legs got walking orders on Wednesday night, whittling the "American Idol" pack to seven.
And yes, Sanjaya was plenty safe. Phil Stacey and Chris Richardson joined Haley in the bottom three this week.
Well, Beehivers -- was this justice? Are you outraged Sanjaya is still around? Or is he better than Haley? And who goes next? Phil? Chris? La -- Gasp! -- Kisha?!? We'll listen to any and all thoughts. Now we'll turn it over to our "Idol" pundits to answer those questions and more.
Mike says:
Obviously "Idol" voters are smarter than I give them credit for. They got rid of Haley. Yesterday, I said it would have to be pants week for her to go, but America wasn't hypnotized by her legs as much as I thought.
After viewing the video... uhh... tribute Alanis Morissette made in which she breaks down and recreates the Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps," Peas singer Fergie had a cake shaped like a backside sent to Morissette. Apparently Fergie was so impressed with Morissette's take on the song, she sent a note with the cake proclaiming "Alanis, you're a genius. Love, Fergie."
Oh, Fergie, you poor thing. You should have thought this butt-cake thing through. Don't you realize that from now on you're going to be inundated with various pastries that look like an ass every time your face appears in a video or on a magazine?
I caught up with actor/singer/comedian Jamie Foxx by phone a couple weeks back. And I wanted answers.
About why he postponed on Fresno back in February. About how he would make it up to us. And about what he's got planned for Friday night's re-scheduled show at Save Mart Center.
My feature story on the show published on Monday, but for you good folks who read the blog, I have a treat: The entire phone interiew in MP3 form for your listening pleasure. Right click, save it and put it on your iPod.
[ Download: Jamie Foxx interview - MP3 / Listen: Jamie Foxx @ MySpace ]
I'm interviewing Akon on Thursday morning, to preview the April 24 concert with he and Gwen Stefani at the Save Mart Center.
Anybody have questions they want answered from Akon. I'll do like with the My Chemical Romance thing and shout you out if I use your question.
I already got dibbs on "Do you get tired of hearing yourself on the radio?" But feel free to add anything else.
"American Idol" is getting down to the good stuff. The final eight performed last night and after tonight there will be only seven. Who was great? Who wasn't? Who should be going home? Mike and Felicia are here to answer those questions and more. See what they have to say, then Leave a comment and tell us when you think.
Felicia says:
I wrote last week that the "American Idol" producers aren't that nervous about Sanjaya Malakar because this season's Top 12 field isn't that strong and has a lot of flaws. Well, Tuesday night's show was a prime example of what I'm talking about. It's Latin music week. Guest prima donna, uh, I mean coach Jennifer Lopez told them passion is the key to this music.
What do most of the Top 8 do? Flatline.
As promised, members of the Beehive - and many others - were present at last night's FLYP event at Veni Vidi Vici. Super Lucky Catz were playing, libations were plentiful, and the outside patio was gorgeous. Were you there?
Here are (blurry) pictures of some of Fresno's Leading Young Professionals enjoying a Tuesday night in their favorite city:
Brandon, Rob, Patrick and Jason doing what they do.
Currently outside the entrance to the No. 10 screen in the multiplex at River Park is an oversized cardboard display for the movie "Firehouse Dog." The advertising boasts that it's the "biggest dog-gone family film." Ironically, the current film playing in that auditorium is easily the opposite.
That's where audiences can see "Grindhouse," the gore-heavy double feature produced by Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino.
On a Monday matinee, no one was checking IDs at the door and subsequently at least two minors (who probably would have trouble getting into a PG-13) found their way into the unaccompanied front row.
I don't mention this because I'm an agent for the MPAA's rating system, or because I believe kids shouldn't see R-rated films -- my parents subscribed to HBO and left me home alone, and I think I turned out just fine -- but because of all the movies out there getting flak for violence, this one will undoubtedly become the poster child.
And that's sad, because unlike the "Saw" series and its contemporaries, "Grindhouse" actually is a quality film -- despite the language, nudity and zombies.
It was interesting to watch the media coverage of Don Imus over the past few days. If you have been living on the moon, here's a brief update. Imus made profoundly offensive remarks on his nationally syndicated radio show in reference to the Rutgers University women's basketball team. Before you ask, the closest radio station that carries the program is Bakersfield's KGEO, AM 1230.
Most covering the story seemed shocked that Imus would make such comments. They obviously don't listen. Imus says profoundly stupid things all the time.
He says he's a nice man who just said something bad. Imus must not listen to himself. He does some good charity work, but that doesn't make up for a that kind of personality that comes across like eating glass.
I know I just said I was tired of everything remotely related to Anna Nicole Smith, but I have an awesome idea to make the transition from Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern to Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkhead an easier and - let's face it - more entertaining one for all of us:
Reality show! Seriously - a remake of "My Two Dads" starring Dannielynn, Howard K. Stern and Larry Birkhead is just the ticket. Remember how awesome Greg Evigan and Paul Reiser were, and how adorably precocious what's her name Staci Keanan was? Like Stern and Birkhead, those dads had a hard time dealing with dual parentship after finding out their ex was a big old ho, but they worked through it with the help of a wise old judge (paging Judge Seidlin!) and a wacky ex-football player (you too, O.J. Simpson!).
I smell a hit. Someone call TMZ because this thing ain't over yet.
Well, if you're Dannielynn Hope Marshall Smith, etc., it's Larry Birkhead, who handled the news in the most mature way possible: "I told you so."
Yes, the results from the Most Obvious Paternity Case Ever Greatest Paternity Mystery Ever are in, and sadly, it's not Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, like you so hoped it would be.
Howard K. Stern has vowed not to challenge the test, so we'll see if he is a man of his word. I mean, he's been pretty honorable so far. *Cough*
Okay. We're done with this, right? No more Anna Nicole Smith stories ever again. No more Virgie Arthur or Debra Opri or other people whose names I shouldn't know. We're all agreed, right??
Yikes. Anybody who has ever been on "Dancing with the Stars," lost their pageant crown in a disgraceful way, or slept with Britney Spears better get prepared - TMZ is going to need a new obsession to fill the void, and quick.
All my whining from a couple weeks back about no good soul concerts in town, is over. I just got word of a good one.
JOHN LEGEND! SAROYAN THEATRE! MAY 21!
Sorry, about the caps. He's just one of my favorite artists. More details when I get them.
Here are pictures of John Krasinski (swoon!) shooting scenes for a movie he is making with George Clooney (double swoon!) called Leatherheads.
Here's the thing, Jim John. You know I love you, right? And that love is unconditional. But the striped tights, Sweetie. Me thinks ole' Prankster Clooney got those half-off November 1 at the Halloween Superstore and then slipped them into your trailer while you were getting your hair adorably disheveled.
Just look into it, 'kay? That's all I'm saying. Kisses!*
*Unless you're in costume. Seriously. Blech.
Because you don't just go out on the weekends ...
1. Go see Thriller: You know how some bands list weird genres of music on their MySpace to be ironic. You think that's what this L.A. band Thriller is doing when it lists itself as hardcore and disco house. But once you listen to it, you realize they're being totally truthful. Thriller plays tonight at the Pearl Building. [ Flier ]
2. Mingle with some of Fresno's Leading Young Professionals: FLYP (I just spelled it out for ya) is doing another of its happy hour stops. This time at Veni Vidi Vici. Super Lucky Catz will be there. So will I, since the Venis patio is calling my name. No worries, I'm sure some people who are actually "leading" will be there, too.
OK, this is simply a plug for one of my online projects, but I'm proud of it. Along with Bee multimedia guru Will Albritton, I helped produce an audio slideshow of an exhibition titled "Population and Change" by Elaine Lynn at Fig Tree Gallery. Lynn collaborated with Valley writer Gene Rose, who wrote text to accompany some of Lynn's images. In my Sunday column, I wrote about the show, and readers then had an opportunity to go online to see the images and hear Lynn read Rose's words. Pretty cool, eh?
You can access the slideshow directly here.
No, not The Fresno, Sacramento and Modesto Bees. We're talkin' the bumble kind. At least that's according to this Agence France-Presse report. Now, I guess this has been going on for a while, but for those of us here at The Hive -- you know, our livelihoods kind of depend on Scoopy and his ilk sticking around -- this is cause for concern.
Wondering what's going on in Fresno? Well, you came to the right place. Below you'll find fliers for this weekend, next week and the future. If you have something you'd like to add, hit me on the e-mail or leave a comment.
I'm going out of town for Easter this weekend, but if I weren't, here are six shows I'd want to be at -- were it possible to be in six places at once, of course.
1. Slow Car Crash / Bill / The Fusion Porn / 40 Watt Hype at Club Fred [ more ]
2. Julia Dawn at Studio Itz [ more ]
3. Super Lucky Catz at Full Circle Brewing Co.
4. Fillmore Slim / A.C. Myles at Tokyo Garden.
5. Mezcal at Starline.
6. The Bungalowdowns reunion show at Last Call.
Last night was Art Hop and - as usual - a good time was had by all, even after we found out some galleries now check IDs before handing over the 2 Buck Chuck.
The following are pictures of people about town and some of the art on display at last night's Art Hop. Keep in mind, I didn't stay out for very long since "The Office" was on ("Citizens don't accept prizes for being citizens."). I present to you the Beehive Society Page.
The scene: Gallery 25. The piece: Joseph Berryhill's Urban Study 11a2.
In the '90s we had "Angels in America" and then "Marisol." What's up with all the angels?
The angels in both plays have the knowledge of something greater that is happening in our central characters lives. They represent the knowing we search for in our lives. They are the answer to the unanswered question and we are invigorated by their presence in our life.
The Thermals are another of those indie bands that are extremely loyal to Howie and Son's -- the tiny Visalia pizza parlor that's probably the best booked venue in our Valley.
The indie-punk trio, based in Portland and signed to the mucho important Sub Pop Records, is back at Howie's on Saturday. It's the group's third stop. And each time, The Thermals are even bigger than they were the year before. It's an all-ages show, starting at 9:30 p.m. $5 cover. Wet Confetti opens.
I talked by phone to Thermals frontman Hutch Harris earlier in the week before a gig in San Francisco. We talked about their love for Howie's, their future with Sub Pop, the group turning down a Hummer ad and a bunch of other random stuff. You can listen to the interview in MP3 here.
[ Download: The Thermals Interview - MP3 // Listen: The Thermals @ MySpace ]
My column today celebrates the return of one of my favorite shows, "Entourage." (Sunday night on HBO, if you're sleeping). In the column, I ask a simple, yet tough-to-decide question? Who's the best member of Vinny Chase's crew?
To figure this out, I matched up Ari, Turtle, E and Drama in a Final Four-like competition. (Come on, we all know Vince is the dullest on the show). You'll have to read my column to see who I picked. But let's just say he's no stranger, to umm, victory.
Question here is, who's your favorite? The ever-popular Ari? Wise-cracking Turtle? Drama? E? Or is it even Vince? Tell me what you think.
Usmagazine is reporting that co-stars Reese Witherspoon and Jake Gyllenhaal have secretly been dating for two months. If this is true, it will be the most precious thing you've ever seen, so I am putting you on high alert for cute overload.
Just picture it: The two of them, her two blond little moppets and his cute dogs, sharing a play date with his sister Maggie Gyllenhaal, her boyfriend, Peter Saarsgaard and their baby Ramona, all talking about how awesome it is to have double vowels in their names.
Once footage of this hits the world wide web, the U.S. will never have to worry about terrorist attacks again. Evil is powerless in the presence of all that cuteness. I mean, look at what that audio-animatronic ridiculously adorable polar bear did for Germany. Right?
I didn't intend this entry to start out whiny, but ... What's up with the ArtHop Web site? You can get to the home page fine, but the ArtHop page doesn't seem to be updated or even accessible. ArtHop is tonight, and if there's ever a time that this site needs to be up and running, it's today. I use it to figure out my itinerary, and I'm sure a lot of other people do, too.
I understand the Fresno Arts Council is in some sort of transition with their site, but getting it in order really needs to be a bigger priority. In fact, I can't think of very many things MORE important than offering the only clearing-house of accurate, complete information for this popular monthly event. (At one part of the site I can get to, it still says that ArtHop is taking place Feb. 1.) I'm disappointed, and I hope things get better. Fast.
Meanwhile, here's my take from last week's 7 on ArtHop.
And afterward, I'll be heading to the opening night performance of Epic Theatre Company's "Marisol" at Fresno City College.
Catching up on the outside world, here are a couple of candidates for Read of the Week:
We all knew it was coming long ago. But there's still something bittersweet at learning that the video format is officially dead, as reported in Variety and the San Diego Union-Tribune. Except for Barney and other children's titles, the studios are saying bye-bye to the VCR. Variety even wrote a snarky obit:
VHS "died of loneliness" and is "survived by a child, DVD, and by TiVo, VOD and DirecTV."
How long till you junk your VCR?
And there's yet another installment in the ongoing "Make Opera Sexier" campaign that some say is radically changing the art form.
Farewell, Gina Glocksen. Your time has come. Some people are calling this a shocker. What do you think?
With Gina gone, we're down to eight. Who of the eight will win this thing? How much longer will Sanjaya stay around? What says you, Beehive readers? Here's what we think:
Felicia says:
America has spoken and it's clear that "American Idol" right now is not a singing competition.
It's not just this Planet Sanjaya fiasco. It's kicking off Gina Glocksen Wednesday night. Yeah, she was inconsistent during her run, but she was different from all the other contestants -- and she could sing.
Remember that Chris Rock routine (skip to 3:30 mark) in which he refers to the lack of respect given to those who earn a master's degree in certain cultures? Ah, that was funny (albeit NSFW). But winning the Masters tournament (the first of four "majors" in the PGA season) is a big deal ... to golf fans, at least.
It's too easy to predict Tiger Woods at this point. It would be a stretch to suggest anyone else can best him if he's on his game. But ESPN's Page 2 has a "cheat sheet" for those looking for the storylines that probably won't be mentioned during the oft-stuffy telecast.
You can follow the live results here.
8 p.m. tonight. Where will you be?
I'll be at Art Hop with my good pal Mike Oz. But he has a DVR, and he said that after Art Hop we could watch the Greatest Comedic Program on Television - "The Office" - which is on at 8 p.m. tonight.
Check out the following very short promo for tonight's show. Will my boyfriend Jim Halpert get a beatdown from Roy? I certainly hope not. I bet Dwight comes running in from stage right just in time to take the hit for Jim. Or maybe Karen will lay out Roy in one punch. Either way, awesomeness is sure to ensue. Enjoy!
Kevin Federline's 20-year old brother, Cameron, was arrested at his family's home in Oregon for engaging in the time-honored tradition of underage drinking. I'll pause while you feign surprise.
Federline 2.0 was arrested March 4 in Pendleton, Oregon, and at a court appearance yesterday pled guilty to the charges of
"providing liquor to minors" (his other underage partygoers), "illegal possession of alcohol by a minor" and "illegal possession of alcohol by a minor by consumption" (he was drinking, as well).
It never occurred to me there might be a litter of Feder-siblings in the world. How would you like to be K Fed's little brother, always being told how great and successful your older brother is, and how you'll never live up to -
Sorry. Lost my mind there for a second. Something tells me Cameron's rep as "the good one" is safe for a good long while.
A Fresno Blues Festival is in the works for Father's Day weekend. And blues lovers are needed to help out. Here's more from Don Heflin of the Central Valley Blues Society:
I have some really great news. We are working with Bob Pierce of Crossroads, Chris Millar of the infamous Blues West Orchestra, Fedora Records and Bluesfarm, to have a Blues Festival in Fresno at Woodward Park's Community Center on Sat. June 16 (Father's Day Weekend). It's a little close to the date to be planning a Festival but we feel with everyone's hard work we can pull it off.
Lots going on in the next few days, it being ArtHop and Spring Break. So before you make your plans, your friends at the The Beehive are taking care of you, with a list of local happenings.
First things first: If you missed the note in the paper the other day, the Super Hyphy Spring Break thing with Keak Da Sneak and Mistah F.A.B. got moved to Star Palace. Everything else is a go. [ flier ]
Now here's some more...
Tonight:
Mike and Felicia are here to talk "Idol," giving commentary and predictions after last night's performances from the Top 10. They'll offer their elimination predictions at the end, but who do you think should go home tonight?
Felicia says ...
Here's confirmation that this season's edition of "American Idol" will be forever known as "Planet Sanjaya" -- The legendary Tony Bennett tells the young spellbinder that "I'm a big fan of yours." If that's not proof that we're all being brainwashed by this kid, I don't know what is.
So Keith Richards was joking when he said he snorted his father's cremated remains. Ahhh... that dry British humour - who doesn't love a good joke about inhaling one's dead family members?
You know what's truly funny? That many people - me included - totally believed it. What does it say about Keith Richards that people would believe he'd snort up his dead dad?
Don't answer that. Take some time to think about the question while you're taking the kids to see him in the fine family film Pirates of the Caribbean: At the World's End this Memorial Day weekend.
Gossip is soooo sloooow right now.
I've been through all the gossip sites and there is seriously nothing going on. Lindsay Lohan and Hilary Duff are friends again after years of feuding because of Aaron freakin' Carter - big whoop. Some chick from a show on MTV called "The Hills" is getting a boob job - yawn. One of the Spice Girls had a baby - whatevs.
I've been forced to find an alternative source for entertainment on the web, and I think I found it on the Food Network's site. The channel is promoting the heck out of Giada De Laurentiis right now, and I gotta say - she's pretty interesting.
Did you know her grandfather is famous movie producer Dino De Laurentiis? Or that Giada went to Le Cordon Bleu in Paris? Or that her family tried to force her into the movie business, but she wasn't having it? Or that her husband's name is Todd?!
Oh dear god. I said it was a slow week. Enjoy this recipe for Giada's Lemon Spaghetti, and hope that there are a rash of celebrity pregnancies/weddings/breakups/rehab announcements in the next couple of days.
*Lie.
It's a slow week, gossip-wise, so what better time for Keith Richards to announce he snorted his dead father's remains than today?
Let me repeat.
Keith Richards - he of Rolling Stone fame (the band, not the magazine. Go ask your dad.) - had his father, Bert, cremated after he died in 2002. And. Then. Snorted. Him. With cocaine, natch.
From the man himself:
"He was cremated and I couldn't resist grinding him up with a little bit of blow. My dad wouldn't have cared... It went down pretty well, and I'm still alive."
I just. I mean. How-? I can't. It's just so-
I guess now we know Richards' secret to being the walking dead - actually being the walking dead. I feel the universe has no more surprises to offer.
Teri Polo has worked with Dustin Hoffman, Robert De Niro, Burt Lancaster and Barbra Streisand. So what was she thinking when she decided to pose nude for Playboy back in 2005.
Yesterday was April Fool's Day. It was also the day the following video of Alanis Morrisette's take on The Black Eyed Peas' "My Humps" made its way to the Internet.
So you tell me: who is the bigger fool? Fergie for singing this ridiculous song in the first place? Or Alanis, who, although joking, now has the dubious distinction of being less sexy than Fergie? Less sexy than Fergie is hard to pull off - she once peed her pants onstage during a performance, for goodness sake.
Saturday's night Evening Eclectic En Vivo concert at Crossroads, a benefit for KFSR, was one of the best local shows I've been to in a while. Each performance was great. The crowd was lively (and massive). And the whole atmosphere was electric.
Memo to KFSR: Keep doing this. The different cross-sections of Fresno in attendance were great. It was scene-uniting, introducing people to new bands, bringing new folks to Crossroads and putting bands that probably wouldn't otherwise play together on one show.
I recorded one song from each of the four performers, which you can watch here, starting with headliner Brazzaville. The Barcelona-based band was playing only one of three U.S. shows.
Well, here it is, folks: the all-purpose Let's Beat Up on "300" Blog Entry.
I know this could be considered old news for the see-it-opening weekend crowd, but remember that the first-day frenzy is mostly studio hype. Even the professional reviews -- which, like it or not, are about the only thing these days not scheduled and shaped by the marketing department -- are in a sense an insider thing. It takes a while sometimes for the impact of a movie to trickle down.
First off, let's hear from Esther, the self-proclaimed "Youngish Yenta" who has written memorably to this space before, who was pumped up beforehand to see "300" in all its blood-spurting glory. She writes:
So many powerful images. So little meaning.
I didn't get caught up in many April Fools schemes this year -- probably because I hardly left my house yesterday -- but I encountered one that I thought was brilliant. And it wasn't the Google iPotty.
Adult Swim had been promising for weeks that it would premiere the "Aqua Teen Hunger Force" movie last night, a curious move considering the movie hits theaters next week. But after that whole marketing-turned-terrorism thing, who knows how they're rolling this movie out anymore.
So last night came along and Adult Swim did premiere "Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters," (yes, that's the real title) but did it in a half-an-inch box on the bottom left of the screen with no sound, while the other shows still played. Well played, Adult Swim, well played.
Like all Red Sox fans, I hate the Yankees. But I'm not a Red Sox fan.
And like most baseball fans (note "baseball" not Yankees), I hate the Yankees. But I'm this close (imagine me pressing my thumb and index finger together) to not being a baseball fan.
However, today, I give the dying sport another chance. That's because today's opening game between the New York Yankees and the Tampa Bay Devil Rays is being shown on ESPN (at
10 a.m. PST). And I will be on my couch wearing either my gray-and-green No. 19 or home white No. 37 jersey, eating peanuts and rooting for my home team, the Devil Rays (I'm from Tampa, btw).
One week from today, HBO's series "Entourage" returns to television. If you're not watching this show already, you need to call your local cable provider and catch up. If you do watch the show, you're going to love this - admittedly outdated - spoof of Brokeback Mountain featuring the love that can't be named between Ari Gold and his assistant Lloyd.
Beware: the following video contains a bit of salty language, though not nearly as much as you'd expect from our boy Ari. Clearly being in love has had a positive effect on the guy.
A while back, my good friend Mike Oz introduced me to a singer from Britain named Amy Winehouse. Not only was I privy to some great music, I suddenly found the future of gossip.
With Lindsay Lohan and Britney Spears attempting the straight and narrow, and Paris Hilton facing jail time, the American gossip landscape is looking a bit barren. I think Amy has the chops to fill the void. Let's review her stats:
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John Mayer is the greatest magician of our time. I present to you the Trick of the Disappearing Uggo:
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