Listen up, celebrities:
If you have something going on, and you're one of the 3 or 4 famous people who doesn't want a ton of attention for your personal life, do it like the sports stars do it: during the dead week between Christmas and New Year's when everyone, particularly the Internet gossip sites and magazines, are on vacation. The evidence:
That's what we asked 
some random people on Fulton Mall yesterday. According to this study, women want to lose weight and men want to be better people.
Me? I'd like to drop a few pounds, get better at this life thing and, hey, interview even more strangers on the street.
UPDATE: This video is getting quite popular on YouTube.
I bet Mike Oz wishes he was back from vacation to tackle this one:
Mike Tyson was arrested in Scottsdale, AZ this morning on suspicion of DUI and possession of cocaine. Tyson was pulled over after he ran a stop sign and nearly plowed into a sheriff's vehicle. It wouldn't be a Mike Tyson story without a healthy dose of crazy, and this one doesn't disappoint. TMZ.com reports:
People.com is reporting that Julia Roberts is pregnant with her third child.
Roberts, who gave birth to 2-year old twins Phinnaeus and Hazel in 2004, no doubt has already started to think about the embarrassing moniker she'll saddle #3 with. Expect Oprah to hold Julia's hand throughout the entire pregnancy, and for insipid headlines like "Pretty Woman makes it a sequel" to pepper the checkout aisles at your favorite supermarket.
To all of the instant messaging, cell phone texting, LOL people out there who claim that spelling skills - and, you know, common sense - aren't necessary in this age of spell check, think again:
A 21-year old German man named Tobi Gutt, intending to visit his girlfriend (whom he no doubt met on eHarmony.com) in Sydney, Australia, found himself 8,000 miles in the wrong direction after he accidentally purchased a ticket to Sidney, Montana instead.
According to CNN.com, "Gutt's airline ticket routed him via the U.S. city of Portland, Oregon, to Billings, Montana. Only as he was about to board a commuter flight to Sidney -- an oil town of about 5,000 people -- did he realize his mistake."
After he spent 3 days in the Billings airport, Gutt's family and friends sent him the cash so he could purchase a one-way ticket to the intended Sydney, Australia. Said Gutt's equally capable mother, "I didn't notice the mistake as my son is usually good with computers."
Being good at computers and being good at life - two totally different things, folks. Now, please excuse me, as my high horse needs some water.
Maxim magazine has released its 2006 Hot 100 List, and Kate Bosworth - she of the flesh-puncturing clavicles and bony claw hands - is number 8.
The magazine doesn't appear to be a very credible authority on hotness - Eva Longoria, who apparently owns stock in the magazine, is number one on the list. But at least she is relatively normal-sized: Kate Bosworth hasn't looked human since 2002's Blue Crush, a surf movie she made before she turned into the human swizzle stick.
Perhaps Maxim didn't see this picture of Kate Bosworth. Or this one. Or perhaps the editors just have some sort of rib cage fetish.
Speaking of skinny bitches, Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham claims that her freakishly thin, though remarkably perky-boobed, figure is the result of a disciplined diet. According to People.com, Beckham's friends say
"She eats healthily - yet, she doesn't exercise at all... She eats more than what people would think."
Well, I think she eats water and packets of Splenda, so if she manages to choke down a chocolate-flavored ExLax now and again, I would, indeed, have to rethink my image of Posh.
Jake Gyllenhaal certainly has come a long way since starring as Billy Crystal's armpit-farting son in City Slickers.
Not only has he grown into quite the handsome, athletic young man, he's received accolades for his work in one of the more socially relevant and important films of our time.
And now young Jake has turned into a real-life action hero, helping to save historic artifacts as the inn he and his family were staying at burned to the ground last night in Northern California. According to People.com, the lodge, which was a refuge to A-listers like Prince Charles and the Gyllenhaals, burned to the ground, but no one was injured in the blaze.
I think the more important thing, though, is that we now have the mental ammo for the perfect Jake-Gyllenhaal-as-fireman fantasy. Woo-ha!
Nicole Kidman used to be a pretty redhead.
Now she is a good actress and supportive wife with a forehead so full of chemicals that she is actually turning into plastic before our very eyes.
Kidman's husband, Keith Urban, knows a little about addiction, so maybe he can get her to put down the Botox, but it's not looking good, friends. There may be nothing we can do for her now.
CNN.com is reporting that Ben Affleck and Jennifer Garner's baby, Violet, has been baptized.
Let me repeat: On the same day that Saddam Hussein is put on the schedule for a hanging and former president Gerald Ford passes away, CNN.com has decided that Elektra and Daredevil's offspring getting baptized is news.
God bless America.
Karen Z. is out on the town again and bringing us another high-profile Hollywood encounter!
If you'll recall, my good friend, Karen, was the first to bring you an exclusive! story about ubiquitous blogger Perez Hilton and the Case of the Missing Cheeseburgers. Now Karen has solved another mystery that has plagued many of us since 1990 - whatever happened to Milli Vanilli's Fab Morvan? You'll be happy to know, he's still recording music, and still sporting that sexy late 80s style!
Karen reports:
Oh, Jessica Alba.
I want to like you. Really. You're not a witless party girl like Lindsay or Paris. You were quite funny and likable when you hosted this year's MTV Movies Awards. You had the integrity to stick up for yourself when Playboy ran an unauthorized photo of you on its cover. You were on multiple episodes of the Greatest Family Drama ever, "Beverly Hills, 90210", where you played a useless, homophobic pregnant teen. Plus, Mike Oz adores you, and I respect his opinion.
But here's the thing. You keep talking about these mysterious curves of yours, and how your family likes to eat and how you can't help being a voluptuous momma, which you so are not.
And now you open your big mouth and say that you wish you were skinnier? Did we hear you right, J. Alba? In an age when girls are dying to be thin (to quote a PBS special), when things are so bad that super-skinny models are literally starving to death and the Italian fashion industry is requiring its models to give medical proof that they do not suffer from eating disorders?
Alba, you are still my number 1 favorite Jessica (just above Biel and miles ahead of Simpson). Please do not fall in my esteem by talking out of your toned yet decidedly non-voluptuous ass.
How much does Kevin Federline suck?
So much so that SFGate.com has renamed its year-end "Least" awards - which commemorates the worst of that year's celebrity culture - the "Feddy" awards, after Fresno's finest.
The "Fedelicious" award goes to, of course, K-Fed himself for "buying cigarettes at gas stations, hitting the clubs in Vegas and neglecting his children." And terrorizing the world with "Playing with Fire," his debut... umm... we'll call it "rap," I guess.... album.
Other winners include Kid Rock and Pamela Anderson Lee Rock as Newlyweds of the Year, and tabloid mainstays Lindsay Lohan, Nicole Richie and K Fed's baby momma, Brit-Brit, who was named Flasher of the Year. My favorite award? "Crack Head of the Year," given to Keith Richards for neglecting to keep his old ass in a coconut tree he was climbing in Fiji.
Keith Richards with a brain injury - what's that like, I wonder?
I can't even name 10 films I saw this year, much less enjoyed. I really liked "Little Miss Sunshine," which came in at No. 5 on The Bee's critics' list. Their top choice was "The Departed," which I also enjoyed but pales to Scorsese's "Raging Bull,", "Goodfellas" and "Gangs," not to mention the three other films for which he got Lucci'd at the Oscars.
Apparently, Eastwood's "Iwo Jima" is good -- it's getting some love as the top choice by critics from at least four publications (New York Times, L.A. Times, Entertainment Weekly and Time), with a No. 2 from The Bee.
How all this ultimately translates to Oscar nominations (and wins) should depend more on how many people have access to actually see these films -- as opposed to big-city critics' admittedly arbitrary lists, which I actually like to read.
Legendary singer James Brown has died from what appears to be heart failure following a bout with pneumonia this weekend in Atlanta. CNN.com posted a long and comprehensive obituary for the Godfather of Soul Monday.
As is usually the case when a celebrity dies, things have already gotten ugly, with the singer's partner, Tomi Rae Hynie, claiming that she was barred from the couple's home upon returning from a retreat after the singer's death. Hynie says that she has no home, no money and nowhere to go.
Brown's attorney, Buddy Dallas, claims that the couple were never legally married and that Hynie's treatment was neither personal, nor unusual, as the home was left in a trust to Brown's children:
"It's not intended and I hope not interpreted to be an act of unkindness or an act of a lack of sympathy. Ms. Hynie has a home a few blocks away from Mr. Brown's home where she resides periodically when she is not with Mr. Brown. She is not without housing or home."
Dallas also said that Hynie, 36, and Brown, 73, had not seen each other for several weeks prior to Brown's death.
This story smells a little like Anna Nicole Smith trying to get J. Howard Marshall's cash to me. Hopefully, Brown's kids won't have to go through any ridiculous legal battles with Hynie, and Brown will be remembered more for his music than his relationship troubles.
It's not a good week to have a title.
First, Miss USA, Tara Conner, was nearly stripped of her crown after reports surfaced that she had engaged in underage drinking, drug use and "sexual misconduct," which apparently means making out with the reigning Miss Teen USA, Katie Blair. Thanks to Miss Universe organization co-owner, Donald Trump, Conner got to keep her title on the condition that she enter rehab and shape up.
Unfortunately for others currently accessorizing with a tiara, Tara Conner's behavior has started a domino effect in the pageant world:
Being a celebrity seems pretty nice, doesn't it? Money. Expensive things. Being surrounded by people whose entire mission is to make you look and feel good.
Yes, it can't be all that bad being a celebrity.
Unless you're Kirsten Dunst, and some wily photographer catches you walking around with a Comprehensive Digestive Stool Analysis kit.
On that day, it might sort of suck to be famous.
What's K-Fed up to these days besides trying to look like a sea otter? Good question. We haven't talked about our hero in a while.
He's quite the busy man actually. There's that wrestling thing coming up with the other wannabe rapper. And he got dropped from a modeling gig. And a bunch of gossip sites are reporting that Britney was boinking his producer before the divorce.
If that wasn't enough, then there's this:
On our brand spanking new Beehive MySpace (hint, hint), we just saw a bulletin from K-Fed's Federline Records that was just too wonderful for words.
Author JK Rowling has revealed the name of the seventh and final Harry Potter book: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.
I am so stoked for this book to come out, I can't even be bothered by the fact that I don't know what "hallows" means.
I wrote a story in today's paper chronicling Jason Garcia's life and cancer fight. Part of it is plans for his funeral, which is Friday.
There will be a funeral Mass at 9 a.m. Friday at Sacred Heart Catholic Church, 2240 N. Cedar Ave., then burial at St. Peter's Cemetery, 264 N. Blythe Ave. A reception will follow at noon at Pilgrim Armenian Church, 3673 N. First St.
There are a number of online discussions remembering Jason: JasonGarcia.org | Planet Gig | Speakers for the Dead MySpace | SFTD blog
Jump the shark:
- "A term to describe a moment when something that was once great has reached a point where it will now decline in quality and popularity.
Origin of this phrase comes from a Happy Days episode where the Fonz jumped a shark on waterskis. Thus was labeled the lowest point of the show." (from www.urbandictionary.com)
Hey, guess what popular phrase used to describe everything from Cameron Diaz's face to Alton Brown's turkey frying methods to the iPod's coolness factor is tired and overused?
"Jump the shark" has officially jumped the shark, people. Move. The hell. On.
To me, Tori Spelling hasn't been an object of interest since Donna Martin graduated. So it bewilders me to hear that there are actual paparazzi following her around, and that gossip web sites are making fun of recent photos of her pushing her pug around in a baby stroller.
That's not right, you guys. You shouldn't make fun of Tori. At least, not until we decide for sure that thing she's pushing around in the stroller isn't her baby.
Everybody keeps looking at me like I'm a nutcase when I say I can't wait to see the new Rocky movie. I feel like I'm Borat at that rodeo in the South.
Everyone thinks I'm kidding. That I can't really be looking forward to this. That I couldn't really have loved all the Rocky movies (Yes, even "Rocky V").
But what I wanna know is: How could you not root for Rocky?
"Rocky Balboa," the sixth of Sylvester Stallone's films as the perennial underdog and inexplicably tough boxer from Philadelphia, opens in theaters today.
Sharon Stone, realizing that at her age she'll never get close to the real Jack Nicholson, has begun dating Christian Slater, showing up to events with him after the two starred in the film Bobby together.
According to a mysterious source:
"It's a fun fling for the holidays and Sharon is a good influence. She rarely drinks and has three kids. It's a good match for now."
It's a great match, actually: the guy who was arrested in 2005 for allegedly grabbing a random woman's ass, and the desperate cougar star who's been trying with all her might to reclaim the 4 minutes of sexiness she displayed in 1992.
Call me a romantic fool, but I'm feeling this one.
Tara Conner, current Miss USA, and recipient of the Golden Publicity Ticket, will be able to keep her crown, as commanded from on high by HRH Donald Trump.
TMZ.com reports that despite allegations the 20-year old Conner had been degrading the title by drinking at clubs, using drugs and engaging in "sexual misconduct," Trump will allow her to retain the title of Miss USA, under the condition she attend rehab and become a role model for the children:
"She's agreed to go into rehab. She knows that if she makes even the slightest mistake from here on, she will be immediately replaced... I believe she can do a tremendous service to young people."
(click below to show entire entry)
Six weeks ago today, I sat across from Jason Garcia, eating lunch, listening to the story of his bout with cancer, talking about his future. And today, he's gone.
I walked into Tower Records on Monday night, convinced it would be my last time.
It was the farewell tour, the final walk-through, my last chance at buying something -- if there was anything left -- at the music store that had been a big part of my life over the years.
My Chemical Romance has leaked word of its 2007 North American tour, with a March 14 date at Selland Arena in the mix.
The tour will kick off Feb. 22 in New Hampshire and feature supporting acts Rise Against and Muse.
No details have been released about tickets yet, but expect to see them go on-sale in early January.
We'll give you more info as we get it.
Maybe it's just me, but don't ya think Justin Timberlake should host "Saturday Night Live" every month, too? He's funnier than pretty much everybody on the cast, as proven by this (pretty NSFW) digital short, "A Special Christmas Box" from this past Saturday's show.
Much like SNL's "Lazy Sunday" sketch, this one already has the Internet going nuts in a Paul Wall kinda way.
And in case you missed it below: Famous is giving away JT tickets if you show your sexy. H-Mac and I would totally win, but since Famous and The Bee are the same company and everything now, we can't. So we're giving y'all a chance.
Britney Spears has been voted the world's worst dog owner in an online vote by readers of two dog magazines: The New York Dog and The Hollywood Dog. According to editor Hilary O'Hagan, "Britney was the overwhelming choice" for worst celebrity dog owner for 2006.
Wow. Good job, i-voters. Way to band together to save those being mistreated by Britney. Let me ask you this, though: Was there anyone else in Britney's sphere that you could have made an effort to help? Anyone besides the chihuahuas? Anyone at all?
No? Okay. Good work, gang.
The stars are aligning for info on the new Rasputin Music location, supposed to open in the old Tower Records spot.
You might recall that the Rasputin honchos have been less than cooperative about dishing info to the media. Sometimes it takes ulterior methods, such as:
1. The ex-employee: Jarah points us to this blog from an ex-Fresnan who also happens to be an ex-Rasputin employee. After a run-in with an old manager, he reports that Rasputin should be opening in Fresno by the end of February.
2. The face-to-face encounter: I went to a Rasputin store yesterday while in the Bay Area. My identity as a dumb reporter sufficiently cloaked, I asked an employee if they were opening in Fresno. She said "Yes," but tersely added, "We don't know when." There's that good ol', dependable Rasputin customer service.
Britain's News of the World reports that a 29-year old woman named Carmel Sloane has come forward claiming that she is Mel Gibson's lovechild from before he became famous.
Sloane's mother, Marilyn, tells News of the World the romantic story of one special night, when Mel with the "mesmerizing eyes" picked her up on the side of the road and then made sweet, sweet love to her on a dirty mattress in the back of his station wagon before going to work at the orange juice factory:
According to Splash News Online, Britney Spears, happy to grant her mother's birthday wish that she wear a bra and panties in public, showed up to Lynne Spears' birthday dinner wearing only her underwear and a black doilie she tried to pass off as a dress.
I know she's trashy and gross, but I think I'm starting to see the brilliance that is Britney. Kevin, who many say is after the cash, is trying to bluff Britney by asking for custody of the kids. Britney, who has by now outskanked both Hilton sisters combined, is making certain that public opinion, if not the legal system, swings in his favor. As soon as Kevin starts to realize he's actually going to have to raise the kids, he'll back off, leaving Britney alone with her money and her - um - dignity. Oh, and the kids.
Just sit back and watch. This girl is brilliant, y'all.
I've been out of the gossip game for a couple of days, and let me tell you, there's a whole lot of catchin' up to do. Big things happening. Huge. Let's get started:
Looks like muscle soreness isn't the only problem with the Wii.
For the record, I'm not just using the Wii's latest headlines to link to my own videos. I'm also here to report that every person I spoke to regarding my Wii research says that they love the gaming system. And as for the strap issue, video gamer Kevin Wray said if he can't hold onto a remote at almost 30 years old, he may have other problems.
I had lunch with my friend Erin Deis today, who used to be the promotions director at radio station Y101 (KWYE, FM 101.1). She was in full mourning mode.
(More after the break...)
And yes, "Borat" was nominated for best actor and best comedy. This is great news. It's niiice.
Now I'm not Borat's biggest fan, but I enjoyed the film (at least the unscripted parts). So I'm glad to see that the awards show that has become almost a joke in the world of movies has nominated a movie that has made a joke of just about everything.
Here's the list of nominees.
Goal: Listen to and review Taylor Hicks' new self-titled CD (which hit stores Tuesday) in 30 minutes. Or quicker, 'cause it's almost lunch time and Chris Meat Market is calling my name.
Background: Hicks, the Season Five "American Idol" champion, backed by his devoted Soul Patrol, recognizable by his grey hair, could potentially be the biggest male success story from the "Idol" franchise (sorry, Ruben). Or, Hicks could wind up in the same strange grey-area between musician and punchline where Clay Aiken lives.
Start Time: 11:48 a.m.
1. The Runaround: This is a brassy number, pretty standard pop fare with Taylor lamenting his love life. He gives and gives and gives. All he gets in return is the runaround. That's cold, Simon. Just cold.
Entertainment Weekly is reporting that John Krasinski, Jim Halpert from T.V.'s "The Office" and future baby daddy to my offspring, will star in an upcoming film called Leatherheads, a romantic comedy set in the 1920s.
George Clooney, Sexiest Man Alive and future baby daddy to my offspring, is set to direct, and will co-star as the guy who steals John Krasinski's woman.
Oh my god. I think I just had a stroke.
Janice Dickinson, who became the world's first supermodel in 1842, was involved in a hit and run accident Tuesday night.
Dickinson, who stars in a reality show called "The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency," was wearing her seatbelt and walked away with only a concussion.
This is very serious, so I cannot make a joke. But if I could, I'd do something like: "Janice Dickinson with a concussion? How is that different?" or "Thank goodness for those two airbags she keeps on her chest at all times."
So sad. So very sad.
So I'm reading this interesting Time article about film critics, and I was intrigued by the question it raises: Do film critics matter? The answer given is "Yes -- for one month out of the year."
Since December is the month in question, I wanted to get The Bee's critics thoughts about the article.
Arts columnist and film critic Donald Munro responded to my query, and this is what he had to say:
Can I call you Kevin? Is that cool? It's a lot more respectful then K-Fed, Fed-Ex, or whatever those gossiping chumps call you. And I'm trying to talk to you man-to-man on this one.
So, Kevin, check this out -- I'm hearing more and more about you seriously wanting to write this book about Britney. I can dig that. Get your money.
Let's face facts, though. We all heard how the rap thing turned out. Dancing might be your thing (and baby-making, that's word to Shar!), but this putting words together stuff is not how you get down. That's why I got this little proposition for you: Let me help you out.
(More after the break)
X17online has captured photos of Britney Spears kissing some guy this weekend.
You know what? "Britney taking the cigarette out of her mouth long enough to swap spit with some random" pictures are totally going to become the new "Britney Spears getting out of a McLaren with no underwear" pictures. You're going to see 400 more of these, so do yourself a favor and just move on.
Can't do it, can you? Junkie!
If you're wondering why the guy looks familiar, Best Week Ever has done the math for you: Kevin Federline minus the crabs, with a side of Lisa Marie Presley. HOT!
Angelina Jolie has opened up about the beginning of her relationship with Brad Pitt. In the interview, which will appear in January's Vogue, Jolie says:
"Because of the film, we ended up being brought together to do all these crazy things, and I think we found this strange friendship and partnership that kind of just suddenly happened. I think a few months in I realized, 'God, I can't wait to get to work.' ""Whether it was shooting a scene or arguing about a scene or gun practice or dance class or doing stunts - anything we had to do with each other, we just found a lot of joy in it together and a lot of real teamwork. We just became kind of a pair."
Well GnR is out, but there's still plenty happening music-wise around town this week.
The biggest comes tonight as Angels and Airwaves headlines "A Nightmare Before Christmas" at Warnors Theatre with 30 Seconds to Mars and The Ataris.
Locals South of Shaw (pictured right) have been picked to open the show.
Word hit five minutes ago that Wednesday's Guns 'N' Roses show at Save Mart Center has been canceled. Sound familiar?
Says concert promoter: Live Nation
Live Nation and Guns N' Roses have announced that the Guns N' Roses show at the Save Mart Center in Fresno, CA has been cancelled. Sincere apologies go out to all the fans in Fresno who bought a ticket. We hope you can make it to the band's show in Oakland, CA at the ORACLE Arena (formerly Oakland Arena) on Friday night the 15th of December, which will proceed as scheduled. Refunds for the Fresno show are available at point of purchase.
UPDATE (3:30 p.m.):
The Save Mart Center found out about the official cancellation when everyone else did -- via e-mail from Live Nation at 2:35 p.m.
"I know what you know," said Steve Tadlock, the arena's general manager.
When I first saw somebody playing the Wii, I thought to myself: "If I wanted to exert this much energy, I'd just actually go bowling." I guess some Wii players are thinking the same thing right now. Apparently, Nintendo's new gaming system is racking up the casualties just weeks after being released on the market.
Enough so for Nintendo to create an almost-hilarious Wii safety page. There are competing Wii-injury sites with Wii Damage and the cleverly titled Wii Have a Problem.
*** UPDATE: Nintendo sent users 
an email this morning with an additional safety message regarding wearing the wrist strap when using the Wii remote. ***
It almost sounds like a stupid "The Simple Life" stunt: first Paris Hilton is arrested for D.U.I. in September, and now her co-star and real-life sidekick, Nicole Richie, has had her run-in with the law.
TMZ.com reports that Richie was arrested for D.U.I. at 4:50 a.m. this morning after concerned motorists spotted her S.U.V. driving the wrong way on the freeway and called 911. A breathalyzer showed that Richie was not under the influence of alcohol, but she revealed to the CHP officers that she had taken Vicodin and smoked pot.
Richie's weight on the police report is listed as 85 pounds, so it's hard to imagine she'd be able to operate a car after taking anything stronger than a Flinstone's chewable vitamin. If you're wondering how 85 pounds compares to average household items, like a golden retriever or a 42-inch plasma t.v., Best Week Ever's blog has it all worked out for you.
I ask you: what did Lionel do to deserve this? I mean, hello.
If, after reading Lindsay Lohan's latest crazy-o-gram, you had the urge to print it out, red pen the hell out of it, and send it back to her along with a care package consisting of cookies and mental hugs, you were not alone (except maybe on the cookies and mental hugs thing, weird-o).
The ladies at GoFugYourself.com took the liberty of correcting Ms. Lohan's grammatical mistakes, though they admit their efforts are "not the fully exhaustive edit and grammatical bitch-slapping that is likely required."
I applaud the girls' efforts, and hope they continue to push for better fashion choices and better editorial skills from our younger celebrities. With written statements being released weekly from the likes of Lindsay, Paris "alot" Hilton, Nicole "why use one exclamation point, when you can use 20" Richie and even Britney "my publicist wrote this" Spears, they certainly have their work cut out for them.
Maybe when they're finished, they can do a little health lesson on how having the sex with Fez from "That 70s Show" is less a sign of success and more a ticket to herpes-ville.
What was the celebrity world doing this weekend while you were busy trying to pull wet leaves off your car's windshield? Doing good deeds for others through the magic of My Space, of course:
This week, Lindsay Lohan - actress, singer, fully adequite thinker - sent to her employees a call to action. Her mission? To stop the tabloids from spreading lies that she may be drunk, on drugs or simply bats**t crazy. Her proposed allies in the battle? Al Gore, Hillary and Bill Clinton and a rabbit lawyer named Harvey. The full transcript of Lindsay's letter can be found here, but I've printed some of the highlights below:
We've written about local designer Mario Garza before for his ever-popular photo blog Stuff on My Cat, but we never imagined this forum could be used as a life-changing opportunity. This time, the "stuff" on Jeff's "cat," Fredrique, is an engagement ring for someone named Heather.
So far, 600 people have commented on the post dated today.
ABC has announced that it is moving "Lost" to 10 p.m. on Wednesdays, a move some say is designed to avoid having to compete with "American Idol". Let me get this straight: I've been avoiding Ryan Seacrest and that abomination of a show like the plague for years only to have it show up out of the blue and ruin my Wednesday night T.V. viewing? Damn you, Seacrest, and your little dog, too.
I think this move may finally be the nail in the coffin for "Lost". It's lost viewers since the second season due to inconsistent scheduling (one new show, three reruns), and a plot that doesn't seem to be going anywhere. The third season has solved the scheduling problem by having the show take a mid-season hiatus with plans to return in February with 16 new shows in a row, which sounds promising. But the plot? Still needs help.
In the giant suckfest of a last episode (billed as the greatest episode of the season by ABC), the big cliffhanger was Jack buying time for Kate to run away. Run where, producers? You already told us they're on their own little island with nowhere to go. So, Kate's going to refuse to run, Sawyer's going to get his butted kicked again, and... haven't we been watching this same episode all season? It's getting as tired as Matthew "Jack" Fox's neck must be after all that incessant head-bobbing he calls "emoting."
Still, for all my whining, I was planning on coming back to the show in February. But now... I'm tired of you toying with my emotions, ABC. I think I'll just watch a "Scrubs" rerun instead, as there are bound to be at least 4 channels running them at that time.
People like to send me all sorts of interesting, amusing and puzzling things. I share because I care. (And because I'm totally jealous McEwen has that Fan to Flame thing).
For example, this is a funny one from a guy who works at a local TV station:
If you're a dork Disney fan like me, and likey the Disney flicks, and are able to appreciate a good You Tube video (that's a lot of 'ifs', I know), then you'll thank Best Week Ever's blog for pointing out this re-imagining of the classic Mary Poppins as a horror flick.
How Dick Van Dyke in those penguin pants didn't make the cut, I'll never know.
25-year old Paris Hilton has told Life & Style Weekly that she'd like to have four babies by the time she's 30.
For those of you who haven't been struck spontaneously deaf, dumb and blind, I'll continue.
Hilton points to her proclivity in caring for those in the animal kingdom as qualification for motherhood, and it can't be mere coincidence that this proclamation comes after frequent exposure to Mom of the Year, Britney Spears.
I don't blame Paris at all - Britney makes motherhood look awesome. You have lots of sex, fall asleep while someone pulls a child out you, get a free tummy tuck, then party your little heart out until someone calls Child Protective Services. Then you happily hand over your spawn and a couple mil to your deadbeat husband and go about your merry way.
Dude. Does anyone else want to be Britney Spears right now?
By now I'm sure you've heard the unfortunate story about "Prison Break" actor Lane Garrison, who was (allegedly) the cause of a drunk-driving accident that resulted in the death of a teenaged boy.
According to People.com, Garrison "showed signs of alcohol intoxication" after the accident, though his attorney is claiming the Paris Hilton defense - that Garrison had one maragarita with dinner.
I haven't been following the story much (because I don't watch "Prison Break"), but now that eyewitness accounts from the party Garrison attended that evening are being made public, something is starting to sound awfully familiar to me:
While doing an interview with Dutch talk show "RTL Boulevard", perennial asshat Eddie Murphy was asked about his relationship and unborn child with former Spice Girl Melanie Brown. Murphy responded:
"You're being presumptuous because we're not together anymore... and I don't know whose child that is, until it comes out and has a blood test. You shouldn't jump to conclusions, sir."
The kicker? Just 2 days ago Mel B. was quoted as saying "We're in love. ... All [our] children have met and get on, too. ... I can't wait to spend Christmas with him, and I can't wait to have this baby."
Just to make sure it good and hurts, Murphy attended the Dreamgirls premiere with Tracey Edmonds, who tells People that she and Murphy have been together "for about a month and a half."
Look, we get it. She wasn't called Scary Spice for nothing. But this level of douchebaggery is pretty brazen for a guy whose most recent credits have included Daddy Day Care and picking up a transvestite hooker.
Gawker.com is reporting that yet another memoirist has been accused of being a phony-baloney.
Augusten Burroughs, whose memoir Running With Scissors was made into a movie this year, is being blasted by Buzz Lightyear Bissinger, who takes the author to task in next week's Vanity Fair:
"I don't know how [Burroughs] lives with himself... ' Running With Scissors' contains little strands of fact that were wildly embellished, and if you take those away, you don't have much of a book."
Bissinger spent time with the family represented in Running With Scissors, the Turcotte family, who he claims "took [Burroughs] in and did their best, and he turned around and wrote about them in the most vile way possible... It's totally gratuitous."
Embellished? Vile? Are you trying to tell me, Mr. Bissinger, that it's not likely that a professional psychiatrist would direct his family to look to his bowel movements for advice from God? Balderdash! I submit that it is you, Sir, who is the fantasist, and not Mr. Burroughs.
It would seem that another high-profile celebrity couple has called it quits. They met on the set, sparks flew - a romance for the ages, one might say. That's right - don't take this too hard, but... Adam Brody and Rachel Bilson have broken up. I know, sweetie. I know.
While you try to come to grips with this heart-breaking news, read this People.com report about the demise of a lesser celebrity relationship: Jennifer Anisomething and Vincifer Vaughn or whatever.
Who cares. I'm going to go hug my copy of "The O.C." Season 1 until I'm carried away into gentle slumber.
One man's thoughts while sitting through last night's Billboard Music Awards:
The Taste of Chaos tour -- which this year features The Used, 30 Seconds to Mars, Senses Fail and more -- will come back to Fresno next year, stopping at Selland Arena on Feb. 20.
Also performing at the huge hard-rock themed show: Saosin, Chiodos, Aiden and Evaline. More bands, including a local group or two probably, will be announced.
Pre-sales tickets are already available online. Details about general ticket on-sale are still to come.
USA Today is reporting that George Clooney's best friend and constant companion for the last 18 years, 300-lb. pot-bellied pig Max, has died.
Clooney once shared Max with ex-girlfriend Kelly Preston, but was granted custody of the pet after the couple broke up. Preston, of course, went on to have a very fulfilling, long-term relationship with a pig of her very own.
Rest in Peace, Max. And George: if you need a shoulder to sleep cry on, you can reach me here at the Beehive. I'm just saying.
So what went down in the celebrity world while you were busy navigating the treacherous traffic circles of River Park in the quest for that perfect holiday gift card? Not a whole lot, actually:
Ever wonder what Brad Pitt will look like as a bald, wrinkly old man?
No, me neither, but since I had to see the pictures of him in makeup for The Curious Case of Benjamin Button then you should, too. And here's another one of him in half-makeup, which is somehow worse.
And now you're wondering what Angelina Jolie looks like with no hair - am I right?
Well here you go.
Let my nightmares become your nightmares.
Answer: all three, plus a side of "starved for attention."
Lindsay's bat-crap crazy nightmare of a mother, Dina Lohan, made an appearance on Ryan Seacrest's radio program Friday to spill the beans that Lindsay has recently been attending Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. The claim was confirmed later in the day by Lindsay's publicist Leslie Sloane, who has had a busier week than usual defending little Lindsay's cries for help:
We've already established what I got going on this weekend. But if it weren't for college football, here's what I'd be contemplating music-wise for the weekend:
Just between me and you, blog friends: There are whispers around town about Christina Aguilera adding a Fresno date to her 2007 U.S. tour. No details at this point. Sounds like just preliminary talks and could totally end up not happening.
A look at the itinerary for the tour -- which also features Pussycat Dolls and Danity Kane -- shows a few open days between the Los Angeles and Sacramento shows in March. Nothing going on at the Save Mart Center those days either. Looks perfect for a Fresno date -- but also for a few days off in L.A.
Cross your fingers, Xtina fans.
So I was buying tickets this morning to watch my glorious alma mater, the bowl-bound Spartans of San Jose State University, stick it tomorrow to the meager Bullpups of Fresno State (Hey, Red Wave, how often do we get to gloat -- gimme my moment).
The journey led me to Ticketmaster -- challenged lately in the evil rankings by the new Britney-Paris-Lindsay trifecta -- which was going to inevitably suck away my soul.
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Time to put away the roller skates and the braces, friends. Our little Tootie from "The Facts of Life" is going to be a 
The good news: 
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